La Pucelle Membership:

|Jen (Anya)|Christi (KR)|Sofie (Lain)|Colin (cleric)|
|Phil (Valcion)|Layton (Apple)|Emil (Ailure)|Ashley (Yoshi ARR!)|Andrew (DJ Bouche)|
|Alex (Xkeeper)|Mrs. Darkstar (Rydain)|Sarah (Caela/Seraphim)|Goldie (Rin)|
|And many, many more.|

PrierHiryuu's Deadjournal Entries

Weee... [21 Dec 2005|02:37am]
:: music : Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones - The Beginning ::

Well, noting my lack of updates for the longest time now, I would venture to bet that this is the last or second to last update that I make this year. Again, I'm still surprised that 2005 is done like that. Wasn't a very eventful year, I'll give it that much. Made a few friends, did a few things, got a little further with college...but overall that's about it.

Oh, speaking of college: B B F. Logic, American Music, Calc.

I guess people shouldn't be surprised by Calc.

Anyways, that's done for the rest of my life. Won't have to go back and do another class like two of those again for a while...and if I do, at least I'll actually have something going in. With Calc, I've got nothing whatsoever.

Oh well, I cannot call this semester an effective waste except for one class. The other classes turned out relatively straightforward. I just think it's going to be a matter of wearing that whole administration down until I finally walk out of there with an Associate's in my possession. If I can get that much, I can walk away happy. Of course, I'd like more...I'm a greedy prick like that. :P

Naw, not really. I just want to see the best I can get out of all of this before I finally start going -officially- crazy. I can't really see it get much worse than it already has in terms of me stressing in regards to anything. All that changes are different/harder classes. I burn more brain cells trying to do Mario Picross than I do trying to make a damn Calc paper. Seriously. That Picross is a brain burner.

Not too much else on this front. I did get a few more projects done for SM, which I'll link to right now. I'm going through BemaniStyle exclusively from now on for my SM ULs. If you want them, you'll reg there...otherwise, you can look at the pretty banners. :P







Couple of things to note about these last 3: First one is a solo with 2 stages and it's a long song. The second is an obvious joke file (I mean, it's a 20-footer for god's sake...). Last is a co-op with DD that I put in just tonight to get one more for the road. Think I'm well over 100 sims released now...not bad. Only took a year and a half. :P

Anyways, out for now.
2 confessions. | Confess.

Boredom [28 Nov 2005|12:28pm]
:: music : Ranma 1/2 (Part 1 SNES) - Shampoo's Stage ::


Neutral-Good

82% Good, 40% Chaotic

I'm
starting a longer version of this test, and I would REALLY appreciate
some suggestions for questions from members of all alignments. Please
email me with a suggestion, along with the alignment you scored on this
test. THANK YOU!! I will make it a
seperate test and will include tendencies, kinda like the "Long Scientific Personality Test vs. the Quick and Dirty Personality test.


Plane of Existence: Elysium, "Blessed Fields". Description: The plane of peace. Notable Inhabitants: Guardinals - noble immortal humanoids with bestial features.




Examples of Neutral-Goods (Ethically Neutral, Morally Good)




Cloud Strife (FFVII)

Boogenhagen (FFVII)

Mother Theresa

Ghandi

Sidhartha Gautama (the Buddha)

Gandalf

Bilbo & Frodo Baggins

Samwise Gamgee

Indiana Jones

The Dali Lama

Ben (O-Bi-Wan) Kenobi

Luke Skywalker

Harry Potter

Hermionie

Dumbledore




Often goes along with the laws and desires of the group as being the
easiest course of action, but ethical considerations clearly have top
priority. May pursue quite abstract goals. Often aloof and difficult to
understand.




Will keep their word to others of good alignment

Would not attack an unarmed foe

Will not use poison

Will help those in need

May work with others

Indifferent to higher authority

Indifferent to organizations



Neutral Good "Pure Good"

"Benefactor"




A neutral good [person] will obey the law, or break it when he or
she sees it will serve a greater good. He or she is not bound strongly
to a social system or order. His or her need to help others and reduce
their suffering may take precedence over all else. Neutral good
[people] do good for goodness' sake, not because they are directed to
by law or by whim.



This alignment desires good without bias for or against order.



Other Alignments and Tendencies (Tendenices are what you would more often sway towards; esp. for Neutrals):

0-39% Good, 0-39% Chaotic: Lawful-Evil

0-39% Good, 40-60% Chaotic: Neutral-Evil

0-39% Good, 61-100% Chaotic: Chaotic-Evil

40-60% Good, 0-39% Chaotic: Lawful-Neutral

40-60% Good, 40-60% Chaotic: True Neutral

40-60% Good, 61-100% Chaotic: Chaotic-Neutral

61-100% Good, 0-39% Chaotic: Lawful-Good

61-100% Good, 61-100% Chaotic: Chaotic-Good












My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 86% on Good
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 20% on Chaotic




Link: The Alignment Test written by xan81 on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test


Wee.

Confess.

These years are too short anymore... [28 Nov 2005|04:08am]
:: music : Aikawa Nanase - NIGHT RAINBOW ::

Seriously. How in the hell are we done with '05 already? Someone want to tell me how it's possible that we're coming in to the final month of the year already? I must've missed something back in July.

Anyways, the vacation went off without a hitch though I hate to say that a lot of stuff didn't really transpire. We were all in that haze of not really wanting to do anything because of school being in the way. I have a feeling that come in a few weeks I won't have to worry about that since the semester will be over, regardless of the outcome in terms of grades. I have a feeling everyone that I know wants this semester to just hurry up and end. Nothing really great has come out for me besides getting to know a few people which I'll more than likely lose after the sem is over except in terms of knowing who they are in passing when I pass by them in the halls of that godforsaken community college. Well, it's been getting better in that area with a few people, but still.

Data drains were apparent. Yea. My Pokémon Gold cart that I lent to him with about 300 hours in it pooped out on him just before I came over completely screwing up the save information and leaving nothing behind. So much for those 300 hours.

That's not all. My memory card for my PS2 completely screwed itself up on Friday. Something happened while messing with the AR MAX that Michael had and it corrupted my data on the memcard. I was so pissed. Luckily, I figured out a way to salvage about half of the data on the memcard that was only accessible via the AR MAX memcard manager. It was an hour's work taking what I could (not much but at least I got my more recent shit) but I ended up succeeding and formatting the memcard then putting back the data I recovered and saved on his 40GB PS2 hard drive. Thankfully, some of my really old but decent stuff was on there.

Oh, beat Makai Kingdom when I was down there. Finally kicked Yoshitsuna's ass in two turns. First turn bravehearted with a crew topping out at level 1300 with my Warrior that I started out with and transmigrated several times (guess his name) was enough to take 80% of its HP out in the first runthrough. I was lucky that he only took a weak character and my Castle (40%+ attack) out only. I ended up BARELY taking the rest of its HP out (about 600,000 HP) the second turn thereby winning a ten-slot Yoshitsuna mech. And boy, does it kick. ass.

Needless to say, this was BEFORE the memcard crash. I thought I had lost this. Thankfully, this was not the case.

Picked up DDR MAX for the PS2 while I was downstate. That brings my total games to 3. Lost the EX2 data in the memcard corrupt but got a full stack for DDR MAX so...it's all good. It's got the best songs, practically, in the series on it even though it looks (and acts, occasionally) like a piece of shit. Oh well...more R&P, Holic, era, ee, HVAM, and whatever great is on there for me...but I was really hoping Trip Machine Climax was in there. Damn instruction guide being misleading.

Anyways, I'm really hating it anymore with school cutting into my fun life...or what little I have. It's like screw school anymore and let me get on with my life. I think I'm starting to get why people would consider dropping out after all the schooling they've done, just for the sheer fact that it doesn't really seem to be getting them anywhere. Then I look at people that dropped out and went on with their lives only for them to tell me that they wished that they would've stayed in school and gone through with college. Which one is right, people? I mean all I really see is people being lazy in both aspects, myself included. Either you're not happy with life in college or you're not happy with life outside of college.

Anymore, I'm just thinking if I live my life up to even my shoddy standards then I'm getting somewhere. Luckily, there really isn't anyone I have to answer to at the moment, so if I wanted to I could go as far as to waste myself completely but then that wouldn't be keeping in with the standards I've so set for myself over the course of my life. All I keep getting anymore is drill sargeant shit that I've got ever since I was a kid. You know what I usually do with that stuff? Shrug it off. It was basically the easy thing to do so that all the stress didn't build up and I didn't sink a small ship with the amount of tension that was hanging on my shoulders.

I would wonder if that's all I'm going to get out of life: someone telling me how wrong I am and what I should change and how I should be this and that when I can only do so much myself. You show any signs of intellect at all anymore and people will exploit you for all you're worth I note. Thankfully, I know some people in this world that aren't like that, but a good amount of time I hear that shit constantly happening to others in terms of how they should act and how they guilt trip themselves. Why? I mean seriously, why the hell would you make it that hard for yourself by kicking yourself in the ass. Take for instance some teacher telling a high school student not to say the word 'fuck' in a public setting. Now, had this been a second-grader, I might agree but this was in school. Now, I'd probably shrug this off and chide myself momentarily for letting my mouth slip in public but there are some people that let this hang on themselves for the whole day literally. Why would you do that to yourself? That's the worst kind of shit you can do to your esteem.

Anymore you need that; esteem, that is. If you don't, you fall into a bottomless pit of despair of emo that has so surfaced in the past few years that comes with an incessant amount of drama that gets played out everyday in many parts of this world. It's like it's pleasurable to feel miserable in an attention-whore-like manner for some of these people. It's quite incredible. Thankfully, I don't have to deal with too many people like this in real life, but it comes up from time to time and it really pisses me off.

It just makes me wonder where the line is drawn for people being excessively positive and excessively negative and wondering how thin that line is to walk anymore.

Anyways, not much to add to this rant pulled out of my ass. It's 4:30 and I have to be up in two hours to go back to school to end out my semester. I've got two more weeks to go so hopefully I can start to kick back after the beatings on my F come back from Calculus. Hopefully, the other two I can pull up, especially Logic. That will more than likely be my trump B of the semester if I can make it so.

[Looks at can] ...and who the hell comes up with non-name-brand names such as Mountain Lightning to rip off Mountain Dew? Answer there is Sam's Choice. We must be the kings on buying non-name-brand shit anymore. Anything to save a penny, no? Makes me wonder what my mother did down in Florida during her 'vacation' all told. I know she went shopping on Black Friday to save bucks like crazy because of the whole 5-11 shit. My wonder is why would you shop like crazy during vacation...besides the souvenirs. I'm figuring this is X-mas stuff in mind (why, I have no clue; I wasn't expecting shit) but still. I wonder where she comes up with the money anymore other than the fact that she continually pulls money out of my loan. I haven't seen a penny of it yet. All I keep doing is handing the money over so she stops bitching. One of these days I'll probably be ending up paying back the loan myself even though she took every penny of it. Oh well, it's not like she could put down a loan regardless being credit-killed and bankrupt until December '10.

I think that's about it. I just hope I make it through these last two weeks. I have a feeling I will, of course, but I just wonder how well I will.

So, I'm out.

Confess.

Still alive [13 Nov 2005|02:51pm]
:: music : good-cool - Spin The Disc ::

Well, we got moved in without much of a hitch. It's relatively clean in this house now as of two weeks after moving. The basement is still not habitable, nor do I think it'll be as such for another month or two until we get things cleaned up and a humidifier down there and the basement sealed (it's really bad off).

Otherwise, it's not so bad. Of course, I'm down to lowly 56K but I know for a fact that DSL service is right across the road, so it should be in sometime in the near future. Don't really need it all too much now anyways, it just takes pages slightly longer to load...for now anyways...[sighs]...I'm too used to DSL. Anyways, not much more to add. I'm alive, I think a lot of people know that much by now, but for those that I haven't talked to, yea.

Oh, starting to do spins and crosses right in DDR now. Got -two- songs I can spin in now, Spin The Disc (1 spin) and Air (2 spins). Yea, not great but it is an 8-footer and a 7-footer Heavy that I'm spinning in so...not too bad. Getting the crosses over in every song I can think of almost 90% of the time now. I guess all it took was to watch someone do it right once to get an idea of wtf I was supposed to do. That was the only thing I was screwing up in. Almost passed PARANOIA survivor Heavy thanks to that (I was five seconds from...goddamn that hurts).

Oh, also submit a DDR-esque simfile to DDR OSC #4 that's hosted by BMS. I'm gonna see how far that gets me. I doubt very far, but I got DD to get into it as well (hopefully). If he's as good as he says he is in terms of making DDR type files then he SHOULD do better than me than the one I submitted. It's not my best, I know that much, but I felt so damn restricted towards a contest. :\

Anyways, that's all for now.

Confess.

Finally done with this place [27 Oct 2005|11:35am]
:: music : ElectroPiZZa - Binary ::

Well, after tomorrow, I won't be in this apartment anymore. I wish I could say this under terms that I was moving out by myself, but this isn't the case. However, it's a nice warmup for what I'm going to be doing eventually anyways.

The house we're moving into, currently, isn't much to look at. Already, I've been down there for the past few times trying to move shit in there as well as clean where applicable. The basement is definitely going to be one thing that I'm going to have to focus some major time and energy on. I already cleaned out a large majority of the shit that was down there a few days ago, this past Sunday to be exact, and went back there on Monday to get some more stuff moved in and re-arranged.

Now, we're still renting. It's a lot better than what we've been doing on this two bedroom considering that we're, basically, moving up to a 3-room. 700 dollars a month here moving to 500 dollars a month...not to mention a few other things that are getting paid for as well that we didn't even have the option of evading before. Getting a satellite isn't half bad of an addition either.

Of course, there are going to be some setback with this move. One, I'm screwed on bus routes back here in terms of school now. So that will more than likely place me at a disadvantage in terms of waiting around. I already spent my Wednesdays and Fridays walking two miles back from the closest bus stop to my house currently. Works wonders on legs if nothing else, but I can't do it here because the closest stop to where I'm moving is approximately 10 miles off. I'd be hesitant to even bike (if I had one) under that amount of mileage even. That might change soon if I find another form of transportation, which is one of the big reasons I'm still here...that and school, can't forget that.

Obviously, DSL is getting cut. Out in the dead of country, the odds of me getting that ever again are slim to nil. I haven't checked with one, but I figure they're going to give me the same answer as the rest and right now I've been too busy trying to get ready to move to care about it anyways. 56K works...it's just I'm not going to be on as much, at least, as long as I don't have a second phone line. Even that will cost (about 50 bucks a month extra) and I don't think I'd like to put that money down just for a measly connect like that. I'll probably find some internet answering service that goes with my call waiting. I know this place has three-way calling too, which I never had, but I doubt I use it. It'll probably be something my sister uses far too often; god knows she uses the phone like crazy.

This is gonna be a weird move, but at least it's not going to be a far one like the last one was. That one kicked the living shit out of me. This one is less things moved and only a 10 or 15 mile move away. Overall, this should be cake. Probably going to be annoying moving a few things, but we'll get situated. I'm taking Monday off as well to get a few things organized. I would say I'm doing it to do something for Halloween but hah...good luck on that one. We'll be busy enough as is on the weekend and I won't have a shot in the world of getting caught up with school, so I may as well miss again. I'm doomed in one course anyways, so I'm just taking that in stride and getting as much information as I can from it so that I can retake it. I'd rather not drop it when I can still get some vital information for retaking it. Obviously, I'm not going to give up on that just yet. It's just this semester has been a rather hectic one, and getting ready to move over these past few weeks intersparsed with the lack of transportation at times has just not given me time to focus. I will say that my other two courses are doing better. Logic is becoming a pain, but that was to be expected and it's not that bad, American Music is going better even though I'm behind on getting a few things situated to turn in but I can put it off to the end of the sem anyways. I've talked to all the teachers anyways to get a good idea of what I can do with each. Thankfully, all of them have good intentions, even if some of their teaching styles, at times, aren't looking like that.

Oh well, I'll survive. Always have it seems. Guess I'm just wondering about a few things and how they're going to turn out in regards to this weekend. God knows I was staring at the wall inside the new house several times this past week thinking about how everything was going to go down. Got called on that by the landlord who was helping out wondering what I was doing. That was fun.

Okay, one last aside, I've got one more thing to show off:


That would be my 99th simfile. I have planned on doing a major, major file for 100. I've already let a few people know of my intentions and it will more than likely be the death of me. Just trying to find a suitable host for the behemoth is going to be bad enough and I haven't even got to the damn thing yet. Anyways...

By the by, checking if people actually look at my song listings...tell me what you think of today's selection. Winamp should be able to run it.

I'm out to bomb a Calc test.
24 confessions. | Confess.

Damn... [21 Oct 2005|07:17am]
:: music : Captain Jack - CAPTAIN JACK (Grandale Remix) ::

A legend just passed today.


Once again it is with great sadness and regret the the update is that Franky Gee passed away today aged 43.

Quote: Palma de Mallorca. Francisco Guterrez aka "Captain Jack" ("Drill Instructor") died at the age of 43. The good-mood singer (sold seven million records) already collapsed on monday at a party in Palma de Mallorca. He was taken to the hospital "Juaneda" with the suspicion of stroke. The doctors had already lost all hope. In the night to friday he has fallen into eternal sleep without ever regaining his consciousness, according to his ex-wife Daniela Schaefer.


I can't even begin to imagine the DDR community's entire reaction to this.

Brief update on myself, still alive. Moving next weekend in entirety. People wanna do me a favor and find out if Twinkle Star Sprites is coming to the US on the PS2?

Thanks guys.
5 confessions. | Confess.

It's a new record... [11 Oct 2005|02:53am]
:: music : TaQ - LO9663 ::

...a 41% on the second test. Down from a 78% last.

I didn't even think I was capable of scoring so low on a test. I don't think there's been a single course in my life that I've bombed so much other than Calculus. I guess the plus side is that test corrections will be enough to bump it to a 70.5% if I do all of them and all of them correctly but it still hurts me that I scored so low. I really can't think of a time where I've scored so low on any test in any class other than just plain not being there and scoring a 0.

Well, actions have been taken to prevent further problems. I've 'relieved' myself of a few things indirectly one by one in the past few weeks, mostly out of the fact that I've been stressed enough not to think clearly. I think I warned one Ashley so many month ago that it was bound to happen eventually, but I didn't figure it would take down as bad as this. Actually, I wasn't expecting even close to this. I think the only way I got the points to this test to begin with was the fact that I didn't leave anything blank and I had one total problem correct without errors out of the ten on the test, though multi-parted.

I've got a 50% now. Oct. 27 will be the last test before the drop out date. Obviously, that means that I'm going to have to kick a few things into the gutter to make sure that I do this. It was bound to happen eventually anyways, considering I'm moving, but this way I know that I personally can't fuck around anymore. I just didn't figure that it would eventually be me drawing the line in this fashion either...and by the fashion I'm implying...well, I'd rather not get into that because I've probably pissed a horde of people off anyways as of late. Then again, I'll just take the logic of 'it's the Internet' and not care at this point because I bet most wouldn't care in return anymore anyways. There's probably a handful of people that I would still consider talking to anymore just for the sheer fact that I'm in the position to be stressed anymore and half the people that I associate with anymore aren't real stress relievers more than ones that just add to it, some intentionally, some not as they have as many problems in their day as I have, maybe more, it's just I'm failing to cope with my life right now in order to lead six different ones at the same time and expect to be good at it.

So, basically, I've backed myself into a corner of doing too much at once when I should be focusing on priorities. Even then, though, I don't really know if it's going to be enough. I have never been in a position where I've been blatently failing like this. I've been in positions where I've had it tough, of course, and I've always found a way to dig deep to pass to the best of my abilities, but I've never flat out failed a course past not being able to attend a course and fail that way, and that really doesn't count.

Add to the slew of people that I mentioned I've let down, most who deserved it, and you can tell I'm not in the mood to be dealing with anything anymore. I just might start putting my weekly on hold at this point. Eventually, I'm going to have to be worried about moving anyways in these next coming weeks to be able to focus on it. There again, I'll be letting more people down but I'm at the point where I can only do so much anymore without screwing myself up in the same fashion. If I can't really help myself, there's really no way in hell I'm going to be able to help others. I think I've said that enough to myself and others, if not before than as of late to a few people that are going through some hard times that I know of.

Stress sucks.

6 confessions. | Confess.

I think it's backwards... [09 Oct 2005|04:45am]
:: music : Tsuyoshi Kaneko [Makai Kingdom] - Love / Desire / Affection ::



Shouldn't the one with more reactions be towards the to--whatever...

Anyways, my brain isn't really in there to really update on what's gone on in the week. Nothing particularly interesting to note, at least. Protoboard, after three years, no longer exists. That was taken down after some lame-ass decided to blow it to smithereens. I'm guessing Kawa didn't have a backup, so there's really not going to be a particular forum that I can post my simfiles on but I still have, at least, a server to put them on...well, besides FlashFlashRevolution and when BemaniStyle gets their shit organized.

I am kinda worried about what I'm planning to do for #100, though. My server's not going to be big enough...

Anyways, ciao.

Confess.

Wow... [30 Sep 2005|07:13pm]
:: music : King of Fighters '98 [Arcade] - Orochi Team Theme ::



Lowest A ever. Guess I should be happy that DDR EX 2 thinks I'm worthy of Aing a 10-footer on pad. The system is really really weird...reminds me of 5th mix but in a fucked up sense. Oh well, at least the songs on there are incredibly good. It's like they made EX 1 suck so bad to make EX 2 that much better. Incredibly easy to A, incredibly difficult to AA (FC, no less).

But oh the pain in the ass that you have to go through just to unlock every damn thing in the game. I was lucky to get SAKURA unlocked and I have PARANOiA survivor and PARANOiA survivor MAX to unlock. God help me, because I don't think I'll be getting them that easily. I still have about 20 or so thing to unlock out of the 193 that I'm shown and the rest of it is tougher than hell to do. Not because of the songs, but some of the crazy stuff some of it asks you to do.

I'm lucky I got it. I'm surprised I could come up with the cash for it on the day of it's release. Least now I have some really really good travel shiz now. Should be relatively interesting the next time I decide to venture out of this house to go somewhere other than school or non-fun.

Least I know I'm getting my exercise in other than DDR too. Walking approximately 2 or 3 miles from the Home Depot on Wednesdays and Fridays does that I guess. Why? Closest the bus terminal allows me to walk out. It's a thirty minute walk; I was expecting more considering you know...I'm not the most stamina'd person on the face of the earth...but it's enough to burn up my feet every time I walk from there to my house...mostly because of the ups and downs I have to take to get there. It's a very hilly drive from the bus station to where I'm at.

Tired as hell now too. Week six out. Think I did okay enough on my Music Appreciation test but we'll see. I'm expecting no better than a C, just like the last grade I got in it. It's a memorization course, and considering that I have other courses that really require my attention, it isn't getting memorized past the five minutes of cram I put in just before a test which, apparently, a lot of people in that class are doing unless they're really really really into jazz. Thankfully, there are people like that who exist still. I kinda figured the edge of society would've destroyed them but apparently there are the perserverant that still have a knack for the classics. Good thing, because we wouldn't have the stuff we have today without it.

Anyways, 'nuff with the ramble; I'm out.

2 confessions. | Confess.

Bleh [28 Sep 2005|02:21am]
:: music : SPC File - Final Fantasy VI - Slam Shuffle ::

Got a 1.75 QT of Edy's Double Fudge Brownie in front of me...Yea, I'm in a bad mood. Just got out of another money dispute with my mother earlier this evening. Guess who found out that I dropped a course?

Actually, my father found out first. That makes me a bit uneasy because I have no clue how he would've got that information first before my mother. What does he do, keep tabs on me like a hawk just so he can save money? Wouldn't put it past him, but I ticked my mother off pretty bad. Oh well, better to have one argument than two. You all know that I was probably going to get the lecture of hell from both of them about dropping it anyways. Better to save it and know that I'm going to be up shit creek regardless so I can attempt to focus on school. Guess I figured the opposite party wouldn't keep strict lines on me though. Guess I can't blame him, since he's a money hog.

Oh, and I forgot to add this in last time, as of end of October, or so, I'm moving. Not out on my own, I'm not grown-up or wealthy enough yet it seems for that, but we're finally getting our ass out of this damn apartment that costs 700 a month to pin down for something that costs 500 a month for rent...and it's an actual house! Two floors, but I think it will barely have any extra space than what we already have overall. I have yet to see it, but that's the info I'm getting back. Not sure what my mother's going to pull out, but it was going to be that I pay a nice amount with the loan I have. Got that in the mail today. Minus expenses, I'm $1375 up. Not sure how that's going to affect me in the long run, but I'm already waste deep as is. Eventually, I'll probably be posting about how I can't afford to pay those back...just watch; I'll be quoting myself eventually.

Free time is still getting used for Simfile making, kicking the shit out of monsters, and I got back into the swing of reading fics again. At least I can say I'm doing some productive stuff in my free time as well as what I'm doing in my work time. Maybe that's a bad thing though...god, I dunno. I'll probably turn into one of those work-a-holic types eventually. Maybe then, people will shut up about me not doing anything, but then again, people always have a reason to bitch about anything.

I WAS planning on getting DDR EX 2 when it came out today, but considering the money dispute that I had with my mother just this evening, I have a feeling she'll be reluctant to drop me anywhere to get it...even if she owes ME money, but like that matters with a parent's pride to their child. They're always right...even if the child in question is an adult. You know, it should be that the parent and child are equal when this age is attained but...of course...my parents would rather think otherwise. I guess I'll always be a kid to them. I'll be 40 and I bet you that they'll act this way to me...but by then they'll have probably grown senile with age so...that's more or less assured.

Anyways, I'm out for now.

Confess.

Bi-weekly or something [26 Sep 2005|03:17am]
:: music : SPC File - Super Castlevania IV - The Lake ::

Yea yea...I know...I haven't been updating with these essay-like replies as of late. I really think that this semester is going to be the death of me if I'm not careful. Already, I'm not starting out too hot. I did drop out of the Computer Science II class that I had registered for the second time since '03. I'm not exactly sure if a double-drop will affect me adversely, but it's better that I did that without people knowing (until December, that is) rather than bomb out of all of them.

I would have to; I'm bombing now. As of now, I'm holding a C, a C, and an F. The F is in Calculus, of course, I wasn't expecting it to be that great, but it really surprised me with as high and as low as the other grades were. Logic I was expecting B level and I may just have that now since those grades were based off a week ago. The F in Calculus is a 58.8%; it's borderline D really, but it's still a pain in the ass. Logically, I can't really see myself getting this, but I'm still trying to plug away at it. It was better than the 24.5% that I had, that's for sure. I managed to score a high C on the first exam, so that shows a little bit of promise. The only problem is that it gets harder from here on out, as do all the classes.

I'm going into week six now with probably only 3 hours of sleep when I finally get to sleep. I'm getting used to the schedule a bit, but there are just some weeks that start off crappier than others and going 9-9 on Mondays is a real killer on anyone's watch. Three classes sparsed out that far really hurts my head and would probably do the same to most normal people. I'm just glad I have one less class to worry about now or else I seriously doubt I would have a chance this sem. The classes are particularly beyond me grouped together. At least now I have a chance to breathe a bit, even though I'm still doing poorly.

Just going to shoot for that 70% in Calculus. D counts as pass but it's very possible that it won't transfer where I need it to. Though, if that happens, I can always take the course over again if and when I move to my next college if it so requires me to. I really hate the fact that I have to do as much math in my subject when I'm really not that good at it...though, anymore, I'm really not that good in the area I wanted to go into because I haven't really been studying on it. In fact, not more than one sem over here was dedicated to my field past the sem that I retook of C++ that I more than understood and still only B'd. I think I may just end up dooming myself in the technical approach of things.

But then, past that, I don't know what I'd do otherwise. Part of my problem is that I have TOO MANY prospects to look at. Doing well in high school and broadening my horizons actually hurt me in that resolve. I guess it's better than not...but still, it's a pain knowing if I chose right. I mean, how are you supposed to dictate to yourself what you need to assign yourself to for the rest of your life when most people would rather dream of doing a million and one things with their life. I'd rather not be a legal secretary all my life like my mother is, for one, but at the same time I really dunno if being something in the name of Computer Science is really going to be as fulfilling as I once thought, especially with the grunge work getting there.

I just really hope I know where I'm going with all of this.

Confess.

Boooom! [11 Sep 2005|03:37pm]
:: music : Nobuo Uematsu - Seymour Battle [FFX] ::

Well, it would be 9/11 once again. Anyone doing anything for this? All I recall is not believing it at all until I got home the day it happened even when told during the day that 'the twin towers got bombed' or the same for the Pentagon. I figured it was a retarded movie cliche or in-joke that I had no real care to learn about.

Guess not.

Oh, yea, I'm alive. I know I haven't been updating much, but bear with me. I've been getting a massive workload to go with as of late. I will blame the majority of it on Calculus. Godforbid that I actually pass that class well with the way things are starting up, but I'll try my damndest just to say I tried. All I need's a 70%. I HOPE I can at least do that. Should be no secret that I was dreading upwards of the higher Calculus classes. It was really only a matter of time before I had to push them down, considering that I need upwards of Calc. III soon. I really can't see how you can call something as complex as Calculus easy either. That's why a good majority of the workforce has no knowledge of it and even more don't even use it on a daily basis. It's that whole application thing that's biting me in the ass.

Aside, Logic and Music Intro are going better; Logic is going especially well. We'll see how it will really be for all classes starting this next week. The first major exam for all classes are on Wednesday and Thursday, so that will be the checkpoint that I need to see if I'm going to be able to be in this for the long haul. Hopefully, it's going to come out BETTER than I expect. Hopefully.

Anyways, not really that much to update people on. BemaniStyle is STILL down after almost a month's time and I have 6 now that need to go up there when it finally gets back up.

I'll leave you guys with this one. Once again, I'm alive and still kicking.


Tah.
Confess.

Fall Semester '05 [22 Aug 2005|06:14am]
:: music : Organya Viewer (Doukutsu Monogatari) - Seal Chamber ::

Well, these semesters just keep coming don't they? Really isn't a big surprise that I had trouble getting in enough sleep for the big start today. By far, Mondays are going to be hell this year. Also, there's probably going to be a bus trend starting, since there are days where I let out extremely early...at least it'll be so until or if I make other arrangements. How I will is beyond me at this point.

[digs]

Well, here's how it goes this sem:

From 08/22/2005 - 12/09/2005:

CMPSC 212 :: 'CS II: DATA STRUCTURES' - Online
MATH 222 :: 'CALCULUS & ANALYTIC GEOMETRY I' - Mon,Thurs 6:00-8:25PM
PHIL 111 :: 'LOGIC' (Got me) - Mon, Wed, Fri 10:00 - 10:50AM
MUS 148 :: 'INTRO TO AMERICAN MUSIC' - Mon, Wed, Fri 11:00-11:50AM

So, by looking at that correctly, it goes 3 Mon, 0 Tues, 2 Wed, 1 Thurs, 2 Fri. In essence, Monday will be the day from hell, Wed and Fri will probably make sure I'm up enough to take the two hours compressed together, and Thurs will just be a ride-in. Not particularly fond of the classes or how the shaped up to be in the schedule, but this SHOULD be my last exceptionally hard semester. I mean with Calculus AND Data Structures being on top, I doubt I'm going to have much free time, but I'll find a way to manage (I always do).

Hopefully, this semester doesn't end up biting me in the ass, especially in the case of Computer Science II, since that happens to be an F from the fabled Spring '03 semester. That's the only F left yet to be erradicated from my grade report. If I do even half-well this semester in that class, my GPA will shoot up thanks to it. Really, it'll only be a pass/fail in terms of grades for me this sem. I'm reeeeeally not shooting to be an over-achiever this sem, mostly because I know I won't have it in me for half of the classes at least, but I'll see what I can do. PHIL and MUS might just end up being easier than I thought and, more than likely, they'll probably end up just being random essay classes. PHIL 111 will probably be my high-hope class this sem, considering the killing I gave 110. Depends on the teacher, I think, since it will probably be the same class over again with just different material.

BemaniStyle has been on the fritz since last week. Apparently, there were issues in the server's mobo (i.e. processors go boom). I have no clue when that will be back up again, but my guess is that it'll be another week or two before it is, given how fast something like that will probably take based on my estimates. As such, that really doesn't give me a lot of incentive to put an SM per week, but I've managed one or two on Helmeted. Unfortunately, one doesn't stay up for very long anymore thanks to the fact that we're on a smaller plan now (100 MB for ALL acct's). Did manage to put down The legend of SAKURA and another Ranma ending for ROS. ROS has been neglected, too; for good reason, I might add. I just haven't really had the drive to go through all of the full versions of the Ranma openings and endings with the exception of a few that posed to be challenging. There really isn't a lot of want to do otherwise from others, either. Might've been a bad project to go through. :\ Oh well, at least I jazzed it up with some others over the past few months. Looks like Satan's Theme (see last entry) made a killing locally and on BMS. Unfortunate that it was because it was hard as hell...oh well! Oh crap, rhyming now...

Anyways, I can't really think of anything else now other than I know I'll be having issues this morning keeping it together for the first day or five.

Laters.

3 confessions. | Confess.

Score [04 Aug 2005|01:47am]
:: music : Final Fantasy Tactics - Night Attack ::

Lesse...

A 3.143 GPA, bring my score from the 0.400 it was in 2003 to a 2.677 that is now, Passing Witch Doctor Heavy for the first time, and being under the 200 lbs. mark for the first time in a year?

What did I do to deserve these...I must've been on someone's good list this year.

Truthfully, though, they came with effort. It's a bit of a shame that my GPA this sem wasn't Dean's List...I was right on the C/B line for PSYCH 202 and I guess it didn't take with the final exam and final paper enough to bump me up to a B. That would've put me around a 3.6 or so. A in Chemistry though, that overwrites the F that I had one it.

See? Told you I rocked ass in that class.

Witch Doctor pass was...ugh...I thought I was about ready to vomit on the spot after doing it. Managed to pull an A, but the first time I played it, I failed it outright. Too freaking streamy. I have no idea why in the world that's rated an 8-footer when that should be AT LEAST a 9, but oh well. Works I guess, since I passed it...just didn't believe I would pass it that well.

Add on to the fact that I chucked 232 bales of hay alongside of a few people yesterday without prior knowledge of what I was going to do, that added me up for a 198 lbs. weighing when I went in to check my weight (out of pure curiosity). I was around 207 or so two weeks prior. Dunno what happened, but I must be doing something right.

The hay-bucking could've gone better though. I'm still in some mild pain after yesterday, damn I had no clue I was going to be doing something that I haven't been doing for years. The help alongside was pretty moderate, I was actually doing the majority of the hauling alongside of one of the people there, but I've been out of shape for the longest time, so this didn't come easy. Although, it was a lot better than some of the times I did this alongside of my father. At least this way, I didn't have someone bitching down my neck that I needed to pick the pace up, even if the work I did yesterday was voluntary (without pay), it was a lot better this way than previous times.

I don't know if I'm going to be back to do more, though. It might just end up that way if I get into a position of not having much of anything to do. That's the way the road to my 21st is looking, at least. Oh well, I guess it could be worse. I've got some stuff to catch up on in my free time as it is.

Speaking of catching up...


That has got to be my hardest yet. Only downside for these lately is that the server I'm hosting on dropped to a 100MB plan, so hosting these files on there is limited now. However, the majority of them can still be found on Bemanistyle. You'd just have to put 'x_hiryuu_x' in the Username box and go from there. If you haven't known by now, you need an account to get them.

Anyways, I'm done for tonight.
3 confessions. | Confess.

Finito [30 Jul 2005|02:19am]
:: music : FIXX - VANITY ANGEL ::

Yea, I know...I haven't updated in about three weeks but...I've earned myself a somewhat decent break from the horror that is college.

Actually, I was expecting worse this semester. It was -about- what I expected. It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't anything horrifying either. I'm probably going to be dancing on a B or C like I did with the other Psych class that I took and I'm more than likely going to get an A in Chemistry, depends on how the final went.

And boy, it really meant everything for the finals this time around. I was dancing on the line for both classes that I took. Funny how 7 hours translates into full-time, but then I can guess why considering some of the insane amounts of work we had to do over the time period that we had. It was about a chapter per visit in both classes. Now it wasn't like I couldn't completely handle it, but I could guarantee that I would've hit a B average in Child Psych had I had more time for some of it to sink rather than it be thrown out and we move on to the next chapter only to forget the majority of what we spoke of except for the basic points that tied in to other chapters. Nature v. Nurture, for one. That got drilled into my head...so I learned that much at least. The teacher wasn't half bad, at least.

The Chemistry class I had was a complete nightmare though. The way it was taught was just...ugh. I was surprised that I had so much trouble a good ways in but I never dropped lower than an 86% on the exams and the final exam, 170 questions not counting the extra credit, was cake in comparison to some of the later exams. The teacher just...was not fair to the class. He taught it like a survey course in the attempts of cramming every aspect of Chemistry and it's relations into an 8-week period. If you were a person trying to do this...you'd want to give your class a semester or two, possibly more, for it to sink in. He should hit on the BASIC portions of it rather than delve into each individual part of it. The organic Chemistry portion of it I wasn't really ready for. I did okay, in comparison to the rest of the class, but I did not have anything really ready for some of the odder shits later in the class. Would you want to diagram a dissaccahride and then tell me what the glycosidic alpha-1,4 bond connecting the two monosaccharides means and why in glucose a beta-1,4 bond is different than an alpha-1,4 and...yea you see what I'm getting at? Not fun stuff. And I don't really think that people that are expecting this to be one of the 'easy' classes really didn't realize what they were getting themselves into. Thankfully, I had practice coming in, and Chemistry just happens to be one of the subjects that I'm not too shoddy at.

It'll be a snowball chance in hell that I hit Dean's List. If I did well on that final in Chemistry, which I think I did, it'll be an A in that class. If I did well on the Psych exam, which I have no freaking clue..., and the teacher gives that one incentive of C+ to B if you participate in class (back and forth here, missed two classes, any more and you lose this), and that final of me psychoanalyzing my sister (hey, it was a good subject)...I would have a B. That would push 3.5 on the semester; a Dean's List success, by a hair.

Not much else. I've been really busy over the past few weeks just trying to keep it together. I did, however, stumble upon the chance to get Makai Kingdom and Stella Deus in my possession. I literally had to sell a soul and a half for them though. The work for Stella Deus wasn't fun (if you recall) and the Makai Kingdom was solidifying my financial future: Utter crap.

I guess it could be worse...but selling your soul for a game?

[shakes head]

Anyways, not a lot else other than the two games along with Riviera, which I beat and on my next run, are great so far.

I guess I'll leave you guys with some stuffs that you may/may not have seen in the past few weeks:






Whatta haul...and I've still got my weekly to do this week. That HVAM one is a killer by the way...on Oni. I made sure to make a complete overhaul from the one originally in the game. Very abstract too...so be aware.

Anyways, enjoy...I'm out.
7 confessions. | Confess.

Dead Idol [09 Jul 2005|01:38am]
:: music : Riviera - Battle Theme ::

Updating seems to be harder and harder to do over the summer because it's usually the same thing over and over.

This time, however, there seems to be a flood of new things that happened within the past week. More than likely, it's going to take a lot out of me just to try to name it all, but I'll see what I can do to summarize.

I went downstate for the Fourth of July here in Illinois this past week to basically have a nice four day vacation from ICC. At this point, it was well needed, although that in itself hasn't been an issue more than the ever-present money issue that will need to be resolved shortly. I've got a few things for that to take care of Monday.

Anyways, to briefly summarize the high points: Games/Animé, DEEDEEARRRRRCADE, Fireworks, back up. Games were the usual, but I forgot to bring my PS2 memory card, I left it in the PS2 here, so the ones I wanted to show off to the best of my abilities, like Stella Deus, weren't able to be done. I did take the time to show it off when we were upstate alongside of Riviera, though, so I got the opportunity to at least briefly show off what I had. I still had some burnt animé that Michael wanted from the last time I was down there, Samurai Champloo in particular, and made sure that he got them on Travis's computer to get burnt onto discs. It's just nice that Travis has a 150GB hard drive........ENVY!

I did decide to head over to the arcade at the mall to see if I was any good with the machine there. The machine sucks, literally, but I decided to see what I could get out of it. Didn't really get much more than a B's and A's on 8s and 9s non-consecutively. I did AA some Standards consecutively but that's because that's all I really played since the response on it was horrible, as the group there also admitted. That group was the one I first met playing it in the arcade was there as well. Unexpected! One, Nick, doing Trick Oni and AAing MAX 300 Doubles without bar raping. I about had a heart attack watching. He's better on his feet than I am on the keyboard. That would be a hard day to beat overall.

Fireworks came on the Sunday instead of the Saturday and they were locally...as in the extended family gathered and they shot off fireworks in their backyard. Nothing puny either, this was the real deal. They probably smoked the entire village of Sweetwater with as much as they shot off. I did have to endure one of the loudmouth-kind-of-ex-friend-kind-of-not that was there as well, but he didn't make too much trouble other than being as pompous as usual. It's nice to know that some things don't change after three years of not seeing someone.

I went back two days later, but before that time I did read something of a letdown. That site I linked to was the Greenview, Illinois site that was created at the expense of the majority of my senior honors English class. You can take a look; my pic is still there and my project, 1818-1860, is still there...but I read in the obits that my teacher for that class died of a heart attack.

Now, considering that I wasn't really surprised given the fact that he was a hard drinker and smoker by heart, it was a shock to see on of the main if not THE main person that made sure that I could write at least somewhat decently end up on his deathbed at barely the age of 50. If it wasn't for him, I doubt very seriously I would be even this far ahead in writing a rant/blog entry/whatever about him and I'd more than likely be pressed to keep up in anything writing. That's projects, school, this, the SF/SB, the whole smack. I didn't get to go to the funeral service, since it was far south in Divernon at the time, but I do know that he was buried in Brush Creek Cemetery, which is the same place that my grandfather/mother were buried on my mother's side. I might just have to take a trip downstate some time to pay my respects to him; he honestly deserves it. Whether or not I really believe that their a god or afterlife or nothing at all, I'd rather at least pay him a 'last visit' of some sort. I wouldn't be who I am now without him, Michael as well; he was as shocked as I was.

I did get back upstate only to take an exam for child psych two hours later, have two hours of sleep and then go five hours for Chem. The exams in Chem are surprising me, though. 115/120 twice in a row; both are highest in the class, the previous one tying. It basically comes off to being simple math to me. I guess that's what happens when you have another decent teacher growing up in school and you actually pay attention in class. You actually learn something that you can somewhat apply in your life. I at least got that much out of school for what little I believe I got. Rest you do on your own, though. If that's what college has done for me so far it's at least to show a SMALL amount of initiative to do work for yourself. If I didn't, I know for a fact I'd be failing my ass off at Child Psych. B/C+ for last exams; both of which I had to work my ass off to get. I'm shooting for a B next time.

I don't really know what else to add. Riviera has turned out to be relatively decent, but each time I play it, I neglect school work, Stella, and now it seems that tRO is back in the picture, though I don't think it will stick. I tried leveling last night and it seemed as stupid as before, so I doubt I stick around for it. There's just not enough spark in the game.

Anyways, I may as well show off what I did tonight:


I figured it would be fitting to put the main battle music to that to steps. I think I hit the mark on the head; the steps seemed to kick ass for those that have played it in the short span that I've had them out. I can at least do that once a week it seems.

And that's all for now, I do believe.
Confess.

Another stolen quiz [26 Jun 2005|06:42pm]
:: music : The Sound of Silencers ::

~*~Result nr 8~*~


Your power is: Extreme healing powers


Explanation: When injured your body
focuses on the wound and heals rapidly, within
a few seconds. This makes you pretty much hard
to kill and you can help people in danger using
yourself as a shield. Almost anything is
possible in combat but you prefer looking after
others. In bad purposes you can do the same as
above but for evil intentions.
This power fits you pretty good since you want
to help those around you, and when you are
pretty much unstopable, that's not an obsticle.
You are caring and nurturing and are more a
pascifist. Even if you know there are much
unfairness in the world you still chose to see
from a positive angle because you belive in the
good of this world. You are probably friendly
and have a soft spot for people who are not
accepted. Though to others you come of as naive
and gullible. You could be taken advantagde of
if the wrong person comes around. Even if you
could be seen as pure, you are not that
completely since you're human and make mistakes
too.

Negative aspects: If your naiveness has
been making you blind for too long you could go
into dark thinking.




What Power is Compatible With You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Spelling errors galore.
4 confessions. | Confess.

Quarter down [19 Jun 2005|10:37pm]
:: music : dj TAKA (Remix by Tr!ple) - The legend of dj TAKA ::

Well, just went through a load of homework, some of it being make up for being absent from school on Wednesday just for the sheer fact that my mother didn't feel up to driving and I knew I could miss the class in question and not feel too horrible about it. It was about as much make up work as I was imagining. The only thing is that I have two exams to do tomorrow and every other two weeks after that. The weeks inbetween are just your normal quizzes, but it figures that every start of the week is going to be essentially taking a piece out of me with a test or two.

Though, the lineup for tomorrow sounds relatively easy. I've done the majority of the work for the morning lab already, considering it's over simple Lewis Structs, Diagrams, and a few other simple namings of ionic and covalent compounds. Yea, it might not sound so easy to some, but you'd be impressed how the average person can pick it up as long as they have the will to do so and don't make it harder than it really is. It's like that for a lot of things actually. Then it's probably a lecture half-sized followed by the exam the rest of the time. I imagine that's what my Child Psych class is going to be like during it's lecture time on Tuesday. So in essence it's a pain but a blessing in disguise. I really won't have to do much more than study and somehow survive boring note-taking. Really, that's all I've been doing over the past two weeks adding on the Chem homework which is relatively easy to do anyways. Reminds me of the time I have to spend doing that kind of homework for Pre-Calc with all the miscellaneous calculations you have to put in.

I got back into the writing scheme of things although it seems that I've dug myself into a hole in a project and a project I want to get in seems dead as it is already. I really don't want that talent to go to waste; it just seems to be a dying hobby for me as of late as life and other hobbies take over. I mean, heck, I don't even write these entries as often as I used to anymore. I'm lucky to get one out a week. I kind of think it's important that I get something out a week or else my brain seems to rot over boredom most times.

If nothing else, it'll help once I have to do a paper for Child Psych come the end of the class in late July. I'll have to dig a few people up for it too, as it's comparing two people between the ages of 1 and 25. I guess a 25-year-old still consists of being as such. That's the first I've ever heard of it at least...I figured that died out when you were 18, 21, or had sex. Hell, maybe even after the first time you had a kiss. But, apparently, that covers this. I already saw enough of childbirth and conception as it was on Thursday. I just have to be the only guy in that class save for the teacher. Blech.

Anyways, that's it for this week.

Confess.

Get through it [12 Jun 2005|04:25am]
:: music : Chicago - Feelin' Stronger Everyday ::

Well, I think I can get through the current schedule as it exists now. Just need to endure seven more servings, not counting the possibly job inbetween. I qualify for 1100 dollars of a loan this summer and 3500 for Fall and Spring of '02. That would more than pay for my books, tuition all told. I don't have to start repayment until 6 months after I stop full-time at ICC, so I wouldn't be repaying until December '06 and I SHOULD have help with that regardless. I can start paying whenever but for the majority of it, that pretty much says it all.

Job is an eventuality however and that's the major thing I've been trying to dodge to get a clear mind to keep my GPA in check. I've seen what happens when I try to mix the two and the results aren't pretty. Even a part-time job was enough to dwindle what I had going for me. I just don't have the tenacity yet to pull through 'two things at once' like college and a full-on job at the same time, at least something that is going to mentally drain me...but then being physically drained would suck too...and I did that for my first two jobs...damn. No grey area is there?

Ah well, the quiet of the house is most disturbing and a great feeling at the same time. No yelling and anything that is attributed to it is minor and blows over within a few minutes anyways (mostly bitching about money or whatnot like always). My sister isn't around screwing things up and making a scene, so things pretty much speak for themselves on who's the real troublemaker around here even though we usually just put up with it regardless. It'll be a nice (hopefully) five weeks of silence before I have to dive back into that again.

Now it's not like I hate my sister at all, far from it; she's probably one of the few people on this planet I would actually trust my life to and both of us were through the same shit for the majority of our lives, so we both have the same mentality and thought process a lot of times (even though I'm usually TEH NERD and she's miss popular at school). Problem is, given the age difference and ways of thinking, we usually clash at arguments left and right whenever we get the chance. It never fails. But at the same time we usually find common interests and if nothing else we can double-team our mother when she's being a little ca-ca-cuckoo in her thought process to get her to shut up and give us peace. At least I know I'll have that to look forward to once she gets up to my level of thinking; I figure it only a few years before she finally gets the fact of how the world works. It took me a while myself, mostly because I was kept closed-off a lot of times as it is and I've only had these past three years to reconstruct everything I know. Same with my mother and sister.

This song says a lot.

Confess.

Boredzzz [10 Jun 2005|05:27am]
:: music : BON - MAX340 ::





That's free time for you.

I think school will be do-able. Hot topic seems to be loans. Place is too quiet with sister gone.

Brain hurts.
Confess.

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