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<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/labile">[Angel.]</a>
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Take the <a href="http://www.mutedfaith.com/quiz/q1.htm" target="new">What High School
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"...But I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to f--kin amuse you? What do you mean, funny? Funny how? How am I funny?? ... How the f--k am I funny? What the f--k is so funny about me? Tell me! Tell me what's funny!!"
? GoodFellas
The man who invented it, doesn't want it.
The man who bought it, doesn't need it.
The man who needs it, doesn't know it. [coffin]
I start with the letter e,
I end with the letter e.
I contain only one letter,
Yet I am not the letter e!
What am I? [envelope]
I occur once in every minute, twice in every moment, but never in a thousand years. [the letter M]
There is a dead man in the center of a field. He carried with him an unopened package. As he neared the center of the field, he knew he was going to die. How did he know he was going to die? [his parachute didn't open.]
EvilCow4ever: Angel has a few questions for you
TheBigCheeseGod: ok, shoot
EvilCow4ever: question 1: Did cheese make you their god?
EvilCow4ever: question 2: Of what kind of cheese are you the god?
TheBigCheeseGod: i am a master of cheese. my mastery of cheese won the favor of the cheese population, thus giving me godhood
EvilCow4ever: question 4: Of what type of big cheese are you claiming to be the god? She said question 3 didn't matter.
TheBigCheeseGod: #2...i am god of all that is cheese
EvilCow4ever: question 5: does that make all the other, less-favored cheeses jealous?
TheBigCheeseGod: #4...even the little cheese see me as a god. i am big
TheBigCheeseGod: #5...i treat all cheese well, for they are all tasty and have much to offer. some cheese has higher positions in society, but thats government
EvilCow4ever: question 6: why do bad things happen to good cheese?
TheBigCheeseGod: #6 every cheese has a lifespan. as they get old, they get ill(mold). its the way of life. everything must die
TheBigCheeseGod: only the good cheese die young
TheBigCheeseGod: cept cheddar...it has a long lifespan for some reason
EvilCow4ever: question 7: Since you are the big cheese god, is there something you can do about the smell of Limburger?
EvilCow4ever: question 8: Why do some cheeses get to live longer than others? isn't that favoritism?
TheBigCheeseGod: #7 i prefer to not deal with the smell
EvilCow4ever: question 9, in reference to question 7: if you prefer not to deal with the smell, wouldn't it be easier to get rid of the smell?
TheBigCheeseGod: #8 different cheeses are like different species. all live different spans
EvilCow4ever: question 10: Is there a cheese heaven?
TheBigCheeseGod: #9...as a god, its not really my place to directly intervene
EvilCow4ever: and if so what is cheese hell like?
TheBigCheeseGod: having mold that will never eat away at you...you are forever stuck outside the fridge with mold
TheBigCheeseGod: makes a bad smell and no one wants to eat you
EvilCow4ever: Damn you are cruel......
EvilCow4ever: so what is cheese heaven like?
EvilCow4ever: question some-random-number: Do you love all cheeses equally, or do you favor one over most, like Israelites?
TheBigCheeseGod: paradise...a cool enviroment where these is no mold and all the people love you
EvilCow4ever: question whosit: was there an application or screening process to this god-position, or did the cheese just one day proclaim you as their god?
TheBigCheeseGod: my love for the cheese made them see me as beyond any mere human
EvilCow4ever: ahh. So it was an adoration-type thing.
TheBigCheeseGod: yup
EvilCow4ever: So has one cheese found favor with you more than others?
TheBigCheeseGod: some cheese always have higher opinions, but i love all cheese
EvilCow4ever: ooh. so you're an equal-opportunity god.
EvilCow4ever: Okay. I think that is all the questions we have for you today.
TheBigCheeseGod: didnt think id answer it all did you
TheBigCheeseGod: some cheese try to cross me out of rebellion
EvilCow4ever: I'm happy you took time out of your busy, divine schedule to answer all our questions.
Fwd: Things to Do in an Elevator
from: IFlingPixies @ aol.com
added: 03.07.03
When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down the Twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, "Did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's OK, don't panic, they open again!"
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on."
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
So, What am I not supposed to have an opinion?
Should I keep quiet just because I'm a woman?
Call me a bitch cause I speak what's on my mind
Guess it's easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled
When a female fires back suddenly big talker don't know how to act
So he does what any little boy would do
Makin' up a few false rumors or two
That for sure is not a man to me, slanderin' names for popularity
It's sad you only get your fame through controversy
But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say
Chorus:
This is for my girls all around the world
Who have come across a man that don't respect your worth
Thinkin' all women should be seen not heard
So what do we do girls, shout louder
Lettin 'em know we're gonna stand our ground
So lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will
Can't hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Never can never will...
So-What am I not supposed to say what I'm saying
Are you offended with the message I'm bringin'
Call me whatever 'cause your words don't mean a thing
Guess you ain't even a man enough to handle what I sing
If you look back in history it's a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore
I don't understand why its OK,
The guy can get away with it the girl gets named
All my ladies come together and make it change
And start a new beginning for us, everybody sang
Chorus:
This is for my girls all around the world
Who have come across a man that don't respect your worth
Thinkin' all women should be seen not heard
So what do we do girls, shout louder
Lettin 'em know we're gonna stand our ground
So lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will
Can't hold us down
Lil' Kim:
Now here's something I just can't understand
If the guy have three girls then hes the man
He can even give her some head, or sex her off
But if a girl do the same, she's a whore
But the tables about to turn
I bet my fame on it
cats take my ideas, and put they name on it
Its aight tho, you can't hold me down
I got to keep on moving
To my girls to their man who be trying to mac
Do it right back to him and let that be that
You need to let him know that his game is whack
And Lil' Kim and Christina Aguilera got Yo back
Your just a little boy
Think you're so cute, so coy
You must talk so big to make up for smaller things
You're just a little boy
All you do is annoy
You must talk so big to make up for smaller things
This is for my girls all around the world
Who have come across a man that don't respect your worth
Thinkin' all women should be seen not heard
So what do we do girls, shout louder
Lettin 'em know we're gonna stand our ground
So lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will
Can't hold us down
X2
<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/F/freckleface/1038302704_yflirtcopy.jpg" border="0" alt="sporty flirt"><br>Sporty Flirt
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<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/1033539700_turesernie.gif" border="0" alt=""><br>ERNIE! You're very friendly and happy-go-lucky. You<br>like bubble baths and playing practical jokes<br>on your friends. When you can't sleep, your<br>roommate often tells you to count sheep. One...<br>Two... Three...
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<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/C/carrieinacan/1046839100_CWIN95DESKTOPmiranda.jpg" border="0" alt="HASH(0x86de234)"><br>You are Miranda! You are funny, loyal, and always<br>there for your friends when they need you. You<br>fall kinda easy for hot guys, but hey, you're<br>14, it's all good! And keep making Kate jealous<br>with your wicked wardrobe.
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<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/C/carrieinacan/1049253188_Pspecialed.jpg" border="0" alt="HASH(0x86b7028)"><br>You are Special Ed, YAY! There is nothing better in<br>life than watching you, a puppet, eat fried<br>chicken. I hope you make it to Hawaii someday,<br>and darling, YOU'VE GOT MAIL, always, from me.
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<p>My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is <b>Wankmaster Teapot, Yo</b>.<br /><a href="http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/ghetto/">What's yours?</a><br /><small>Powered by <a href="http://rumandmonkey.com/">Rum and Monkey</a>.</small></p>
<p>My insulting name is <b>Zebra bastard zebra zebra zebra zebra fucker Jambrain</b>!<br /><a href="http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/insult/">What's yours?</a></p>
mormons!!!!!!1 eww gross i hate them!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!
<p>My Mormon name is <b>Kristilyn Marchion</b>!<br \><a href="http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/mormon/">What's yours?</a></p>
crushed
crazy
disappointed
creative
chipper
high
pissed off
thirsty
dorky
confused