"You'll find it a bit lonely on my side." [entries|friends|calendar] Aconitum [ website | Livejournal ] [ userinfo | deadjournal userinfo ] [ calendar | deadjournal calendar ]

Wow.. been a while [10 Oct 2005|08:58pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | 30 Seconds To Mars - Edge Of The Earth ] Oh man.. I so miss using my Dead Journal. ::sigh:: But obliviousdream has moved on. If you haven't noticed, I haven't updated this journal since March. I've moved on to the dreaded LJ. Here's the link incase anyone still reads this thing: http://aconitum.livejournal.com in a reverie

[01 Mar 2005|02:25am] My tum tum don't feel so nicey nice. in a reverie

[14 Feb 2005|09:34pm] Happy fucking Hallmark Day. in a reverie

2005 [01 Jan 2005|06:45am] Another year.. *rolls eyes* 6:46AM.. I think it's time for bed. in a reverie

[16 Dec 2004|08:58pm] Your World (Part One): What is your world made of? [girls] brought to you by Quizilla I liked this quiz... it was different in a sense. in a reverie

[13 Dec 2004|10:20pm] ...he said that I was beautiful. .... I'm not used to compliments like that. But I'm pretty damn sure that it's not supposed to make me cry.

I kind of miss using my DeadJournal... [12 Dec 2004|09:59pm] Kind of... not quite though. I believe the word "crapfuck" sums up my feelings at the moment. I am conflicted, as usual. This time about what I want to do and what is right. Right now I'm on the fence - deciding if I should take a stroll on the well worn path, or jump down and make my own. Not quite sure what I want to do. The well worn path is easily the one that has least resistance. It offers temporary happiness and an illusion that everything is wonderful. Eventually it will wear off and will leave me wishing I had not taken it. It would also be betraying most of what I believe in and I'm quite sure that I don't want to do that. The sick thing is that I'll probably find some way to verify it all and make it seem like I haven't betrayed myself. Making my own path would involve me jumping down and never looking back. I would have to grit my teeth through it all and go on thinking about what has brought me this far. In my life I have one person alone to thank; if it were not for them I doubt that I'd be here today. I say that seriously too. I feel like I'm betraying someone other than myself when I take that well worn path. I can't help but think that I'm a horrible person to even have thought about it let alone actually taking it. And here we are; another chance to redeem myself. I don't want a lot of things. Unfortunately either decision that I take I'm going to have to deal with the one thing that I hate sooner or later. I know it will come up at one point and I know I'm going to hate myself for ever doing something like that. Hell, I hate myself for allowing it to even get this far now. If I make the right choice, I might have a chance at letting it all go. Letting it stay in the past where it belongs. Let it go and continue on the way that I have been going these past few years. It doesn't make me laugh anymore. I'm going to say that I don't care about what made me laugh so hard these past couple of days, and I'm going to make you aware that it's an outright lie. To say it's been bothering me in the way that most would think it would/should be would also be a lie. It's been bothering me in the sense that I legitimately have a guilty conscience over something I've done and not because someone found out or it backfired. It went off perfectly well... and I feel so fucking guilty. in a reverie

and I can't get his scent off of me. [29 Nov 2004|09:44pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Otep - Fillthee ] ...my hoodie smells like him. ...::sigh:: 001 | in a reverie

[17 Nov 2004|06:59pm] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | Blind Melon - No Rain ] How The Grinch Trolled Fanfiction.Net Wrinkle-Free! I'm quitting Chorus before this year is over. That's a definite. I honestly can't sing as high as I used to be able to. Even when I got knocked down to second soprano, the soprano parts only split into two parts rarely and I still have problems reaching whatever note it is. Ozman is insane and I can't deal with her . I can understand that the choir only has 13 rehearsals left until the concert and that we still sound horrible, but yelling at us and saying insulting things isn't going to help us any. I'll be surprised if I make it past Thanksgiving with the way things are going. Orchestra is next on my list. I love playing the violin, and if my home life allowed it I would be practicing it constantly as well as the piano. But Mole just takes the beauty of playing that instrument away from me. I don't even know how she does it. She actually makes me dread going to Orchestra when I used to love going to it in the past (regardless of how Mason treated us). I'm not sure if I'm quitting it this year, or even at all. My father would kill me if he found out that I wasn't in orchestra anymore. As for my actual talent for the violin, I'm better than one would think. If I had the opportunity to practice everyday I would be 100 times better and the same applies to the piano. Unfortunately due to my father, I don't and I refuse to practice any instrument when he's home. I can't even begin to tell you the many times he would just come into my room and start criticizing how I was playing. He would offer "suggestions" to "improve" my playing ability like he actually had any idea of what he was talking about. My father thinks that just because he's an excellent bassist and guitarist (yes, I used "excellent" and "my father" in the same sentence) that he's an expert in classical music. Same thing with the piano. I started learning Für Elise back in the 8th grade and still have yet to master it. Every time I started playing a new part, he would come into the room, yell at me because it wasn't right and start playing it the "correct way" which was quite honestly the wrong way. In other words, I found a temporary tattoo that I thought was long gone yesterday. I've had it since the 6th grade because it was so awesome (and yes that's the tattoo that I'm always talking about getting on my back). Yeah I know.. a lot of pain and a lot of money. But I want my Dragon tattoo. I'm in a good mood. Like.. super good mood. Especially when I'm listening to Lifehouse. Always makes me happy ^_^ "Faith and Begora!" Orlando came up to me on Monday, when Whitney and I were walking to seventh period (getting my attention by incessantly calling me a chicken), pretty much harassing me because I didn't take French 3.. acting like I was some precious student of hers that for no reason decided not to continue French. After trying to fail me by "losing" projects and compositions all year long, giving me detention at least 2 times a week for "being a disturbance in class", and just always having a bad attitude towards me in general, I wasn't going to risk failing a class that I shouldn't be failing again this year, I decided to take Italian. So where does this nicey nice Orlando come from? The woman's a fucking psycho. Italian is molto facile, and Ragone absolutely loves me. Though now I'm having second thoughts about Italian. It's not even the freshmen anymore, as the borderline retards and inbred idiots seemed to have calmed down considerably since September. It's her. Everyday she has something new to say. A new *suggestion* on what I should do with my make-up or my hair. A complaint about how she is getting tested for ADD and Bi-Polar by her own fucking volition. I've known her since the 6th grade, and she has never displayed anything that would make me think that she was Bi-Polar. I couldn't care less right now about the ADD seeing as I think everyone has it; but the Bi-Polar thing really pissed me off. She is such a self-important asshole who thinks that she knows EVERYTHING about anything. We got our quarter grades back about two weeks ago. I got mine before hers and told her since she asked. Once she got hers, I was naturally curious, asked her and I get back this pompous tone of voice saying "Better than yours." Yeah alright. I didn't know that a couple of high 80's and one low 90 beat an 88 and three 100's... jackass. I've been extremely happy these past few weeks. Mano mano... in a reverie

I sing the ballads of victory and defeat [30 Oct 2004|08:02pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Celtic Frost - Circle Of The Tyrants ] I remember when I couldn't go three days without some inane update back in 9th grade on this site. Now, I've moved on to LiveJournal and update like a cat on crack about stupid things. They're not even updates. It's just me rambling half the time. You're lucky to get a coherent thought out of me. So it's pretty much the same on here. Tomorrow's Halloween. I'm dressing up as Gun Moll. Yes, as in I'll be wearing a pin-striped skirt. Yes, as in I won't be wearing a hoodie. Yes, as in this will be the most skin I will EVER show unless you happen to walk in on me taking a shower. If the camera decides that it likes me tomorrow, and people know how to use it, I might even post a few pictures. in a reverie

Fuck. [13 Oct 2004|07:38pm] What the fuck am I doing? I'm in a worse state of mind than I was 5 months ago, and I have a feeling it's going to result in the same way. I'm not even sure of my own feelings anymore. I'm so fucking stressed out over school that I can't sleep at all. I can't think properly and I'm just so fucking confused over the simplest matters that I should just easily cast them aside. As if school isn't enough to deal with, I have family matters that are adding even more emotional problems than I would like to deal with. Then, I have these fucking migraines (probably stress related) that have me taking whatever painkillers I can find to maybe give myself the illusion that they might be working. Whatever remains of my social life is now pretty much a crumbling foundation. I'm not finding myself sheding too many tears over that, as I prefer to have few friends at the moment. Bloody hell... I'm an idiot. 003 | in a reverie

Quick morning post: [11 Oct 2004|08:40am] [ mood | awake ] They've casted Ralph Fiennes as Lord Voldemort. Honestly, I think that is a great Voldemort. 002 | in a reverie

From Mich, to Vick, to moi. [28 Sep 2004|09:12pm] [ music | video game music in the background ] I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want. Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything. Notice how there's no promise of an answer to the three questions (but I'll answer), so go for it. 005 | in a reverie

Three things: [26 Sep 2004|05:59pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Boy Hits Car - Love Fury Energy Passion ] •Autumn makes me happy. •Is anyone aware of a spider that is blue and red? •If you are for Harry and Draco homo erotic fanfiction, please sign this. Thanks. 001 | in a reverie

What I have learned from playing Treasure Island Dizzy. [25 Sep 2004|05:54pm] [ mood | drained ] •You have but one life to waste in the game. You die once, it's game over. •It is easier than one might think to die. •If it moves, it will kill you. •If it doesn't move, it very well may kill you. •Water kills you. •The gray items you collect, are the only things that will not kill you; with the exception of the infrared detonator and dynamite: place the dynamite first and be behind the wall before placing the detonator. •There is one green fish that will not kill you; instead you explore his mouth for money. •IT'S A GODDAMNED EGG! AN EGG I SAY! AN EGG! 001 | in a reverie

No road in Oswego is safe. [19 Sep 2004|10:25pm] http://www.livejournal.com/~treacerbullet/251170.html Seriously. 001 | in a reverie

Going through the Boy Meets Boy archives. [06 Sep 2004|01:59pm] ( Read more... ) 001 | in a reverie

happy birthday to me. [02 Sep 2004|10:45pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Weezer - Don't Let Go ] Wotcher, gov'na. 006 | in a reverie

I hate the beach during the day. [27 Aug 2004|06:48pm] [ music | Celtic Frost - Dethroned Emperor ] I want to go to the beach. At night. On Monday. There's a full moon on Monday. 007 | in a reverie

Public Service Announcement. [26 Aug 2004|05:16am] [ mood | Fuckin' Freezing. ] [ music | Lifehouse - Only One (I'm listening to them way too much) ] Give or take an hour that I sit down to watch Seinfeld or I Love The (insert generation here), I really don't watch T.V. I haven't actually sat down in front of it and went through all the channels of mind numbing crap for hours on end for over a year. It was broken sometime around 10:30. I was going through all the shitty shows of "zany" humor that can be crammed into a poorly thrown together show when something on VH1 caught my eye, only out of pure horror. I forgot the name of the show, but I'm pretty sure it went along the lines of "obsessive compulsive." Or maybe that was the name of it. Now that I think about it, I don't care and neither do you. Anyway, if I ever legitimately thought that someone was sick in the head, it doesn't even compare to what I saw. This woman THING was obsessed with the color Pink. Everything, in this sick thing's house, was a different shade of the color, Pink. Every scrap of clothing, every assesory, every bit of make-up, t.v., bed, lamp, vacuum cleaner, bathtub, etc... was PINK. This woman, even went so far to actually dye her WHITE cat, PINK, and even showed the mortified television audience, a demonstration of dying this poor cat Pink. "I call him Cotton because he's White. But when he's Pink, I call him Cotton Candy!" How terribly stupid and frighteningly sickening. This woman hasn't worn an article of clothing that wasn't Pink in over 20 years, and owns over 5,000 possessions that are Pink. You know what? I saw a watch today that was Lime-Green and I got it cause I love the color Green. But I don't intend on making it my life dream to wear nothing but Green clothing and have my house adorned with Green assets. I don't buy everything that's Green because that's just sheer idiocy. And plus, the color she was infatuated with was Pink. Pink is a color that should be taken in small doses; preferably, in non-existent doses, but small doses nonetheless. And she flips out if there's another color in there, that isn't Pink. Sick. It's people like this, that make it single-handedly to the top of my extensive list of people that I need to torture. ( It is scary how unbelievably accurate this is. ) If anyone is interested in taking this as well, here's the link: http://www.perex.com in a reverie

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