|
This Journal is about my RP characters. this will be the only post about me in this entire Journal. For more on me vist My Space or my Xanga Thank you all for taking time to look over my site. Leave me comments!
Name: Cara Single or Taken?: Taken... unless you're a chick Nickname: Cawa, Cheshire Cat, Baby, Baby-gurl, little letha, little Cathy(my mom), Pan-chan, brat Height: 5'5 and three quarter Hair color: black Innnie or Outie? innie Siblings: (In order of Age, oldest to youngest) Ian (18) What are you wearing right now?: PJs Birthdate: 1-27-88 Sign: Aquarius Where do you live: LA Sex: as often as possible ^~ Righty or Lefty: Righty. Do You Do Drugs?: Nope... only alcohol Who is the last person you talked to?: My brother. What kind of shampoo?: Garnier Frutris What are you most scared of?: Being alone What are you listening to right now?: Tsunami Bomb what do you smell right now?: My brother needing to shower, heh. What car do you wish to have? a Mini Van Favorite subjects in school: ...no Favorite Animals: Dogs, Hippos, Otters
have u ever: Bungee jumped?: nope Broken the law?: of course, we all have, even if we don't know it. Been skinny dipping? nope Have you ever been in the opposite sex's bathroom? yup, there was no line to use it there. Have u ever cried to get out of trouble? of course Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole? nope. Big Mac or Whopper? big mac hold the mayo Ever Eaten a Dog Biscuit? nope First thing that comes to mind: Bark... lol
*~EVERYONE~* Chocolate or White Milk?: Chocolate Root Beer or Dr. Pepper?: Dr. Pepper Mudd or Jell-O Wrestling?: Jell-O Are you Better at Talking or Listening?: Both XD Vanilla or Chocolate?: usually chocolate but vanilla ice cream. Skiing or Boarding?: i wouldn't know. Day or Night?: Night Summer or Winter: Winter Cake or Pie?: cheese cake Silver or Gold?: Silver Diamonds or Pearls: Diamonds Sunset or Sunrise?: Sunrise. because i want to stay up alnight talking with my Jamie and then watch the sunrise together. How Many Remote Controls do You Have in Your House? a dozen, at least Have you Ever Fallen Asleep in School? lots Have you Ever Broken/Sprained/Fractured a Bone? sprains... both ankles, my wrist and my thumb once. Do you Have Any Piercings? 9 all in my ears Are you Double Jointed: yes, my thumbs What's your Favorite Color? Red, Black, Blue... Do u wear Any Rings? yes, my "Squall" ring I got from my Jamie, he has one too. Do you Hate Anyone? My mom, and dad, and self...
What Are your Favorite.. Music Persons and/or Bands? Linkin Park, Thursday, Taking back Sunday, Britney Spears, My Chemicle Romance, Puddle of Mud, Eminemn, Evanescence, Tsunami Bomb, etc. What Do You Dream About?: James, Anime, School, etc. Who Do You Tell Your Dreams to: James. Do you Have a Crush on Someone Right Now?: Nope.
Five things that make you laugh 1. James 2. Roxanne drunk 3. Meagan 4. Mandy 5. Liz
Five things that scare you 1. My past 2. spiders 3. The thought of being hurt 4. Myself 5. pain
Five things you love 1. James 2. This would bw my dad's spot... but yeah. instead I'll say Anime... 3. Dolling 4. Rping 5. Video Games
Five things you hate 1. My life 2. being alone 3. Acne 4. Me 5. Cutting (as in my own)
Five things on your desk 1. Cd's 2. a cd player 3. my cell 4. A glass rose James gave me 5. the computer...?
Five facts about you 1. I cry almost everyday 2. I hate to fight with my friends 3. I have perfect lips XD 4. I'm teh fatness 5. If you hurt me, my friends will kill you...
Five things you can do 1. Swallow things whole 2. Sing... (I guess) 3. Cut my wrist 4. Wear a corset well 5. dye my hair however I want
Five things you can't do 1. change the past 2. Love you 3. go a day without crying 4. not blame myself for what others do to me 5. Get away from these people
Five songs to which people should give a listen 1. Any song off of the "Meet Tenchi" CD 2. Anything off the Anastacia soundtrack 3. Any TSUNAMI BOMB! 4. Enya, "May it Be" 5. Any Cranberries song
Five things that turn you on about the opposite sex 1. Personality 2. Eyes 3. Smiles (that includes perfect teath which my Jamie has!) 4. Insterest 5. the hair
Five things you say the most 1. Eee! 2. CAWA 3. Ya know? 4. Hey! 5. oh
---------------------------
If it all ended today I would... -Hate my mom. -Love my boyfriend. -Wish I had kids. -Wish I had something to leave James. -Miss James. -Miss Jacob. -Miss Mandy. -Miss Mandy -Miss a lot -Miss my dad... -have killed myself. -have lived with no regrets. -go to hell. -cry. -always been right. -wrote one last note. -hurt many people. -be missed. -have updated my journal. -Have found my Squall ring again -Have made a shit load of Icons -make everyone else feel guilty
.
-----------------------------
I dun really know where to start this but I guess with myself. I can really only remember the most traumatic times from when I was little.
When I was two my parents separated. This lead to a lot of my insecurity and my worries about being hurt. You see, I was alwayz very, mature for my age but I still didn't really understand divorce until I was 3 or 4 but I understood that it hurt.
When I was only four years old I was forced into a relationship by a bigger, stronger child. He was 6 or 7 and he scared me. At first he would try to touch me and then he would try to kiss me. I was too scared to tell because he said he would beat me up. He even tried to do things to me in front of his friends. You see, he had a club house and they were in his club. It was a bunch of boys his age who had girlfriends and had dun worse things to them. I was so shy at this time when it came to guys. At one point I almost shut down because of him I almost just became a shell but I couldn't let that happen because he would have won and that was the last thing I wanted to see.
On top of having to deal with him there was my grandma. Me and my brother of course loved her but... she was verbally abusive and lower our self-esteem. I want to move away and I would if I could, but I can't. I really love her but all she does is nag and yell. sometimes, very rare times, she can be fun and I wish she was like that forever. If I were sick she wouldn't nag me, she would pamper me but the second I felt better she'd nag again. I really am afraid of become like her. "Are y'all stupid of just retarded"
My problems come in threes. I've always been a healthy child but I was alwayz chubby. I used to have perfect health and now I'm at risk of colon cancer and a few other things. And though it is hard for my to deal with it's not nearly as hard as being teased by everyone. So many people would have killed themselves if they were in my shoes and people say I have it easy. No one's been where I've been. No can claim that I have it easy. I lost some of the most important people to me when I was young. Life has been hard on me. And since I've left myself wide open the world it's only been harder. I've been hurt by so called "friends" and I've let people walk all over me. I'm tired of it.
My friends mean everything to me. I pride myself on saying that I have one hundred and two friends on my buddy list. It really hurts to lose friends. I get really attached to my good friends so of course something has to happen to drive us apart. More than anything else, it's my self-esteem that drives me down. I'm not an especially strong person but some people would disagree. I won't lie, I have a lot of fears that I'm not brave enough to face and there are a lot of things that I have held me back, but I have some hope for my future.
So far you only have heard about bad things, but there are a few good things here and there. I have three real friends and a boyfriend, Jeremy. He's probably the best thing that happened to me. He's funny, smart and he gets me... He's everything I could want, but, he's so far away, it's like teasing me with what I'll never have but I love him so much.
Before Jeremy I've always had Joey, my real buddy who just happens to alwayz be watching the same show as me. With our magical link of ones she alwayz has a way of understanding me and knowing my feelings.
Well, for me, that's enough. I can't write anymore. bye. Until we meet again.
-----------------------------

Feb. 10th, 2005 @ 03:07 am
|