| LOL |
[Dec. 12th, 2006|12:04 pm] |
....LOL ANGST MUCH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Oh my GOD I feel like going back in time and kicking my OWN ASS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh cry cry cry. I needed the awkward laugh of embaressment reading these entries. Ohh SHIT.
Why didn't someone tell me I was such a wannabe gothic emo fuck head back in high school? Oh wait, no, everyone was one hahahaha.
Man oh man
*runs back to her own real blog and eggs*
16 - 20 I've MATURED I HOPE. |
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[Nov. 4th, 2004|07:16 pm] |
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I decided to come back here afterall. Greatestjournal is...I'm sick of it. I've been rather replaced for no reason, due to something fucking stupid. Ah well. |
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[Apr. 18th, 2004|01:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hot | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | BLAhdis | ] |
My question is...does ANYONE use Deadjournal anymore?
WOW! What a drastic turn...from 47 degrees to 80 degrees and I'm TAN! WOOO!! yay.
The atmosphere sparkled
like the the sequins of the temptress' dress
Shimmering on the pavement and awaiting.
She brushed her fingers through her ebony tresses
Smiling wickedly, as the winds howled all around.
The land was told to watch for her,
the enchanting beauty with the raven gown
Billowing and twisting where ever she moved.
Showtime was coming soon; she brushed her hair
and the world darkened, growing quiet in anticipation
She was not a dance the followers wished to miss.
She applied her lipstick, painting whiteish streaks in the clouds.
Looked into the mirror, kissing at her reflection, and turned to make her grant entrance to the stage.
The flashes of paparazzi were all around her,
Followed by roars of the crowd, begging for her to dance.
She lifted her arms up into the air, and spun around in circles on the stage; quick as the wind and ungracefully.
The temptress was wrapped up in her preformance, darting from here to there, caring not the devestation she caused to the stage, knocking down props and the sets...growing more powerful, spinning, dancing, destroying...
And then she stopped...everything stopped.
She looked around at her path of destruction and smirked, knowing it was another successful night.
Turned to the transfixed crowd, took her final bow, and retreated to her room for the next performance.
Random poem there I wrote...and for those cliffs notes obsessers, it's a tornado personified as a dancer...x)
Speaking of...My mom is writing this paper about Tornados and I swear to God we're going to have one because of her. |
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| Ranting. |
[Mar. 10th, 2004|02:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | DDR Nonstop 6th mix | ] |
Power went out during last hour. How fun. Had to use my cell phone screen as a light to see my locker combination because there are no emergency lights in the Marian Wing.
As I was driving down Newburgh, I came upon an accident scene, nothing major just a fender-bender. A girl at my school was involved whom I have never met before and was devestated, for the person she hit drove off. As I approached behind her car, all I could see were soccer mom's and angry people driving their over priced SUV's, speeding around her and glaring as if she were killing small puppies, simply because she was in an accident and didn't move her car. She was hysterical, sitting in the left turn lane by her car. I felt sorry for those people who kept speeding by, making their cars make that annoying VROOM VROOM noise impatiently. They obviously were too balled up in their own lives, to care that this young girl was hysterical and her car's front totaled. With a heavy sigh, I put my emergency lights on, parked in the lane behind her and went outside to join her trying to console her. We've never met eachother before and I still don't know her name...but I'm sure she appreciated the fact someone took the time out of their overly scheduled day just to sit with her, and make sure she was okay. As you would imagine, people began to shout and honk at me for caring...speeding by as if they were sending the world's worst insult at me...I just totally pitty those people in those cars...
After about 10 minutes, I drove home. Greeted by my cats as no one was home, as usual. A small sign was placed on the refridgerator door as I walked by reading "Went to Heather's. She's having an anxiety attack...pick up dad @ 4:30 -heart- Mom. I fed the fish." Went to make myself a sandwhich, and realized we were out of bread again. Looked at my cats as they basked in the sun like lions in the savanah, pet them for a few minutes until the black and white one bit me. Rejected, I came onto the computer and turned on my favorite DDR songs. My sister called, sounding absolutely exhausted asking if my mom was home, and of course she was on her way to see her...which she got annoyed at, for she wasn't having an anxiety attack. Talked for a few minutes about her kittens, then fell into an awkward silence and said I had to go shower (which I do.) Sitting here at the computer, typing. Hearing the soft melody of DDR songs in a medley and my fingers working on the keyboard. Extremely odd day, though boring. Beautiful outside... |
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| Blah |
[Feb. 22nd, 2004|01:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  listless | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Escape from the Atmosphere and Realse - Manheim Steamroller | ] |
I come back to DJ with my tail between my legs...I...Just...x.x; I love you deadjournal, nothing can replace you.
Did you ever notice that the AMC 20 serves popcorn...IN FUCKING BUCKETS?! Wow...okay...I was totally amazed and in awe when the dude at the concessions gave me a freaking SAND PAIL of a BUCKET of popcorn. I started prancing around the lobby singing " A tisket! A tasket!" And I swear Melissa was going to piss herself.
" Tha-That's a spymoose right there..." HAHA...okay seriously what theater shuts off DDR at 8:00?!?! I mean c'mon...thats just STUPID.
Melissa and Cristina chased me down my basement stairs and I FELL...you bitches I hate you both with everything in me -.O; nah not really.
The Lindsay Lohan movie was...well...Lindsay Lohan. That's all I'm going to say.
MY STUPID GUMBALL AT STEAK AND SHAKE DIDN'T LAST LONG AT ALL...I'M GOING TO SUE THE COMPANY THAT PROMISED LONG LASTING TASTE! Then I learned however, never mix cherry and peppermint Denteen(?) ice...My mouth was having a rave and it didn't feel pretty. |
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| Fun stuff. |
[Feb. 4th, 2004|06:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dragonfly - Smile.DK | ] |
I'm a Pretty Faerie! |
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[Feb. 3rd, 2004|01:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | nostalgic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Holowecky is talking. | ] |
Seven years old: I was new to this world, happy to be oblivious to life. My friends would come over to play dolls and pretend. School was fun, we got to color...I always got the black crayon when it was fresh out of the box. I watch the sunset thinking the colors are painted by pegasus'
Nine years old: fouth grade. School became a little more challanging. Simple addition and subtraction had changed into multiplication and light dividson. My friends still came over to play with dolls, but became more interested in watching cartoons. I always got the slightly used black crayon from the box. I watch the sunset and believe the colors are formed by rainbows.
Eleven years old: New school, meloncholy life. Addition, subtraction, Multiplication and dividson had turned into algebra and the pressure from unfriendly eigth graders began. Friends came over but not as often...never played with dolls and lost their imaginations. They became obsessed with Britny Spears and Backstreet Boys because the television we watched told us to be. I recieved the dull black crayon in art class. I watch the sunset and know it's atmosphereic.
Thirteen years old: Top of the middle school, growing older and not taking time to watch it. School became horrible...hormones kicked in. Old friends left me for better friends because the television told them they had to be popular. I never received the black crayon, for I stopped taking art. I watch the sunset but see black
Fifteen years old: Forgot what school I had even gone to...Depression and paranoia kicked in. Hormones raging...everyone lost their innocence and worrying about college and their future...forgetting to live the days we are supposedly purest. Newer friends only wanted to go out and see movies or talk about their relationship problems. The black crayon I had on my shelf became covered in blood from suicide attempts. I see the sunset through a hospital window and imagine myself in it.
Seventeen years old: I sit here at my schools computer, printing off reptactles of words spewed onto papers about my future and career choice.ACT, SAT, College, Essays, Deadlines... Math has become a slowly improving subject. I sit here next to a friend, who is taking various light hearted quizzes. I carry the burden of maturing too fast in my soul, knowing in a few short months...I'm going to be an adult. The black crayon has broken and disappeared, now taking the form of colored pencils and pens. My friends drive around and randompy stop by to play video games and watch movies and understand that there's a world outside of popularity. I see the sunset, knowing that the particles in the atmosphere diffuse the suns rays into different spectrums, remembering the little seven year old free spirit who was sure that the sky was painted by a group of pegasus', and I deep down, I still do. |
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| Her Undying Love |
[Jan. 29th, 2004|08:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sore | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Adagio for Strings - Samuel Barber | ] |
Twilight fell upon the peaceful Ville,
All was silent; all was still.
Though a single gunshot filled the air
As the ghost of my memory,
Woman and child ran in despair
It all happened here, within this alley
The night that turned my life into a never-ending valley.
It must have been nearly twenty years ago; I was only four
Yet it replays flawlessly like it was yesterday
Seeing her lie on the pavement’s floor.
We ran for our lives, in terror...in fright
As the gunman’s weapon fired. Echoing in the night.
I felt myself be lifted up into her arms
Holding me to her body, as if assuring me I was in no harm.
She would hold me to her body every night watching the moon sail by
What made this embrace so different than my nightly lullaby?
he cried out again as another shot broke in the eve
Dashing down this alley, leaping over garbage and debris
Though what happened next, she didn’t comprehend...
Her gallant sprint to freedom, lead her to a dead end.
She dropped to her knees, sobbing out and holding me close
The killer came closer, heart black with hateful morose.
" Please sir, he's just a child!" she sobbed, " his life has barely begun
Take me instead, just please, and please spare the life of my son!"
Then forcefully, she shoved me into the shadows to hide,
As another gunshot echoed into the sky...
I waited in fright, for my mother to find me, to call out my name
But after waiting what felt like hours, she never came.
Scared and alone, I came out from the shadows, to where my mom would be
And then I saw her, oh how the image has never left me,
She lied crumpled on the ground, lifeless in a lake of her blood
I dropped to my knees; sobbing, wailing and crying
Thinking that I should have been there instead, resting where she was lying.
I was alone...and would be forever more...
Twenty years later, I stand in the place where the gunman took my mother
Tears flooding my face.
I shudder, kneeling on the ground where I saw her dead
Wishing she could still hold me close.
And on the pavement I lie, a single red rose.
Mother, if only you were still around you could see
How I turned hateful, sick and insane...no longer your innocent little baby.
I can’t take it any longer, the memories they tear me apart.
Shredding what would be, the pit of my heart.
So once more I stand up, looking down at the spot
Wait a few silent moments, then turn tail and walk.
Though sometimes I believe that my mother’s spirit comes down
Because when I take one final look back, the rose is no longer on the ground.
And then I am momentarily filled, with the fire of
My mothers, warm, undying love.
Twilight falls upon the peaceful Ville,
All is silent; all is still
Though the ghost of my memory, a woman victim to a gun
Always makes me think for a moment of my mother’s love for her son.
This is a remake of a remake of a poem I did back in 8th grade. Depressing huh.
Have you ever felt that your legs would never move again? Pssh...day one of conditioning and it wasn't even that DIFFICULT...my legs KILL...Jeeeeezzzuuuss. |
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| HUZZAH |
[Jan. 24th, 2004|07:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  artistic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Fernando - ABBA | ] |
HAHA look at my lovely(?) New background...took like...a half hour to make on Photoshop really.
My sister taught me how to draw nicer things today :) I feel looved. |
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| In horrible amounts of pain |
[Jan. 23rd, 2004|04:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  groggy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Claire De Lune | ] |
So last night I threw my back out, and couldn't move all day today and had to take HORSE PILLS for pain killers...I hate missing school so much x.x; |
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[Jan. 21st, 2004|02:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
Chelsey...AnnMarie...this is going to be a GREAT Semester. OUR CAKE ROCKED TODAY! |
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| Can you see me? |
[Jan. 20th, 2004|02:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  mellow | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | My typing | ] |
Can anyone see my new background? I'm not sure the image hoster I'm using is really all that good...since I've uploaded with them once or twice and nothing very good happened...
Semester two. OH GREAT I'm in a damned Biochemistry class...I don't EVER remember signing up for that. My Adult-ED Art class starts up next week, taking pen and ink drawing which should help me out in my cartooning thats not CGed. Cept Elise IS CGed but oh well. Uhmm...Hmmm...nothing interesting is going on really...I have work I need to do...Writing attempting to make SOME semblance of a dent in my novel Camp Willow Whisp which I've had a writers block for three years now on...I've gotten up to 148 pages and nine chapters then POOF climax and such disappeared.
Mmmm yes but do tell me if you can see my background (which is supposed to be a blue and white spiral thingy that I made in Photoshop) Because if not I will murder my image hoster and find one that WORKS |
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| And to none |
[Jan. 16th, 2004|05:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | grateful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Claire De Lune | ] |
It's amazing how much you can see in a perfect strangers life style while just idling at a red light.
Once again, like every single day, I was stopped at the intersection on Haggerty and 8 Mile this morning on the way to school. I'd call anyone touched by an angel if they ever were able to make it through that light without being stopped. This morning was different though, as the sky was awakening in an utterly beautiful display, much unlike the usual blackness of six thirty in the morning (Praise the Lord for late arrivals) and it was quite a rare opportunity to see the sky so beautiful. Pulling up on either side of me were young business men and women, white collar workers driving their atrociously oversized SUV's cursing in silence to the tri colored machine overhead, inconviencing them for only a few seconds, though in business time, it was enough to make them a little late for that "important meeting" that dragged them out of their homes. Everywhere I looked, I saw the same thing...angry workers staring up at the stop light; then this small white car pulled up along side me housing another suit and tie clad middle aged man who looked as though he had signed one too many papers in his life. He glanced up at the traffic light, as I expected to glare at it and curse...as if these magical words of hatred would make the light suddenly change...but instead he looked towards the sunrise and just stared mouthing " Wow...thats beautiful..." (I'm actually pretty good at reading lips. Always have been) it made me smile seeing this evident business man, clearly on his way to work, stop and look at the natural beauty and appreciate it within the sea of honking horns and angry souls who were angered by this pause in their travel. Too often we forget about the only truely perfect thing out there: The World. In it's spectacular beauty. Sometimes you need to just ignore the little inconveinces and such like, stop lights, computers and such and just take time, like that man, and look at the sky.
Okay enough of that, CONGRADULATIONS ANN MARIE FOR THE LEAD! |
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| I'm going to be the next Jhonen! Well...roughly |
[Jan. 11th, 2004|05:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
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| | None | ] |
My comic...Fair Elise...I'm proud to say...IS GOING TO BE PUBLISHED AND AVALIABLE FOR SALE AT BARNS AND NOBLE AND AMAZON ONLINE!!!
*is estatic* |
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| Score for me woot! |
[Jan. 2nd, 2004|12:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Head like a Hole - NIN | ] |
I'm amazing yes...yes I am. I got a B on Tsuguru Heavy mode on DDRMAX2.
Here's an example of how crazy that song is:
http://www.ddrfreak.com/stepcharts/stepchart.php?song=tsugaru&mode=Single&difficulty=Maniac&code=Normal&Submit=Submit
Yeah. Four hours of game play on that song only and I GET A B! WOOOT! Next up MaxxUnlimited...*bows*
I've been working on a new comic that someday I WILL get published. I will yes, I will *evil cackle* I just need art classes to teach me how to draw better. Night is too much to handle. Three issues of it and it's just...far too much to handle x.x; I suppose a character made up when I was depressed really isn't the best idea to follow.
I decided I'm going to just do makeup for the Musical. Soprano = Not me. I'm a lower Alto...blech. I have a deep sultry night club singes voice *twitch* |
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| Wow I'm here |
[Dec. 29th, 2003|11:15 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Water dripping in the bathtub | ] |
For Christmas I got the following:
∙A pair of upper calf high leather boots with eyelets
∙ LOTS OF ART SUPPLIES!
∙ DDRMAX2 which I loathe deeply because video games seem to DISTRACT ME BEYOND BELIEF...nah I'm kidding. I love that game. I finally finished a rather hard song on Heavy Mode after 13 hours of play *grin*
∙ A KNEE LENGTH LEATHER COAT THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE JHONEN VASQUEZ'S! (It was a total Surprise too. I asked for a red one)
∙ $200 which has gone down to $170.
∙ A new fossil watch because my other watch is somewhere in NC.
It was a surprisingly good Christmas too...my cousins were nice to me for once and such and I got to play with my little cousin's Eye Toy he got...I WANT TO BUY ONE OF THOSE.
I'm so fucking pissed at Lydia (Or Ms. Robert...for those who don't know I'm related to her.) for making us do a God damned final project over FUCKING BREAK (fumming) My GOD who does that...URGH! I've got one paragraph done of this two page paper...two pages isn't that bad actually at all.
The Boyfriend huh...Mmm. I would have tried out had we been doing Anything Goes, perhaps I'll try out for the one lady who doesn't sing or dance and from what I can see is just a sarcastic old lady (Gotta love those) I mean I took 13 years of tap and I DO sing, I just...well...don't feel like it. Perhaps I'll shoot for chorus. Mm...nahh. We need someone to be the head of makeup since Natalie is going to be in the musical...and since I'm the only Junior *shrugs*
I'm going to a New Years Eve party, and in 5 glorious months, I'll be able to go to NIGHT CLUBS! (Even though I worked as an amature DJ at one, I still didn't get to dance or anything boo) Gotta love 18.
Happy New Years. I'll probably not write in here until January something since I've sold my soul to Watercoloring and DDR. |
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| o.O! |
[Dec. 17th, 2003|08:19 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Someone singing....On...someones Computer | ] |
How odd it is to post in my journal in school...especially on someone elses user name. I laugh, I know her password! This was about the only webpage that wasn't restricted...stupid school and their worrying about seeing 'harmful things!' Thats catholic school for you though.
I'm in poetry! Yay! I love Ms. Purrenhage, she rocks! (Not brown nosing, she's not even near me. *grin*) This morning was so icy I did a full 360 on Newburgh. My car is litterally pointless, all it does is just...barely get you from point A to point B. It does have nice decorations in it though...*hugs her Gir Antenna topper* But anyways, I was driving and was like " Oh this isn't ice! It's just wet from water! " Then I spin out and yeah x.x; It was ice. I almost die :D!
Half day, half day...Oh god yes Half day...then only TWO DAYS UNTIL BREAK! (Would have been one if I had obeyed like a circus monkey and donated something to the auction thing :D Now I'm regretting not doing that...stupid free Friday for everyone but me -.-)
I'm out...My stomach hurts cuz I'm HUNGRY...and yes...
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| Act 1 scene One million |
[Dec. 12th, 2003|03:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | ecstatic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Twilight Zone - DDR mix | ] |
My curtain call is that monotonous alarm clock, the stage is the very floor I walk on. I'm the lead actress of each Melodrama, comedy, musical and tragedy the school day brings me, only to take my final bow as I exit that prissy little school...Encores take place four days a week.
I'm afraid to stop my act, So talented I am...afraid that the giant eye in the sky will stop looking at me and only me. Everyone else is pathetic compared to me...
People like that make me sick. Life shouldn't be a play or one giant act. BE YOUR GOD DAMNED SELF I can guarentee you'll receive more dee-lishous rewards by doing so.
Someone in the billions of people on earth will like you for who you are.
I really do love my life :) (no sarcasm...I really do.)
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| Totally random |
[Dec. 11th, 2003|08:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sunrise Sunset - FOTR | ] |
Cold. Thats all I felt, cold.
The carhood never was a good place for star gazing, if I may had said so myself...Nor the blinding of the streetlight in my eyes helped either; though I remained still, looking up at the few beacons I could find.
So natural, so beautiful, it's no wonder poets and song writers allude to the stars in songs of love and devotion. I can never help but wonder though, how these tiny dots of light lying lifelessly in the cold night sky are seen as love...
Not to be pessimistic, words can't describe the electric charge the night gives me, an airy feeling wild and care free that I thrive on. And this is coming from an overly descriptive writer. I love the night, I cherish it.
How are stars so romantic? |
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| The song of Sorrow |
[Dec. 8th, 2003|07:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | morose | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Something I can never have - NIN | ] |
Hello lonliness my old friend
Seems we walk this road again
Grievence of the soul take on
Oh how I should have not succumbed
Feed my heart....(heart)
With the tentacles of ice
Once it's home
And never to...break through.
(never to break through)
Happiness was once a drug on high
A gross addiction that I had come by
Fleeting through it was like Winters rose;
Blossomed with it's allure and decomposed.
When am I to believe in warmth again?
When oh When?
This is the song of sorrow.
I'll sell my soul into the night
To its darkness and cold moon so bright
Frozen much like my blackened heart
It's coats of ice wont let it break apart
Will I ever believe in warmth again?
When oh when?
This is the song...of sorrow.
This is the song...of sorrow.
...I believe enough has been said in my song. |
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