Amanda's Journal

Amanda's Journal

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Saturday, March 26th, 2005

6:49 pm

I've had this journal for 2 years and 8 months. Wow. I miss my old friends. current mood: blah current music: MSI - Planet Of The Apes

1 *is it just me?

Thursday, February 24th, 2005

10:57 pm

I'm only updating this cuz I'm extremely bored and have nothing better to do. DeadJournal's gay. I love being me. So, why don't other people love me? Eh, who knows, who cares. Their loss. I'm fucking awesome, end of story. I think life itself is just some big, cosmic joke. Oh well. I think I've had this journal for almost two years now. I shouldn't have abandoned it. I guess it's cuz it's filled with some really stupid, pointless entries that I'd like to forget. Um, okay. current mood: bored current music: Eminem - Amityville

is it just me?

Wednesday, January 12th, 2005

9:40 pm

Wow look, AmandaPenny's updating her DeadJournal. I love A Thorn For Every Heart. So much. Saturday I'm taking my five hour course with Gary! I was talking to him a little while ago, he was like "Come back to school, we all miss you", I felt so loved. So yeah, I guess it's kinda weird to be excited about a five hour long driving class, but gimme a break, I haven't been outta the house for days and I miss Gary and everyone else at school SO much! I actually can't wait to go back. All I've been thinking about lately is food. Like, 24/7. Food food food food food food food. I haven't had real food since exactly a week from today. Is it weird that I sit on my computer, staring at pictures of food? NO! cuz Greg says he does it too, and Greg is THEE coolest! Greggy, yayyy! He's been home sick the past few days, talking to me online and stuff, but he's going back to school tomorrow so I'm gonna be lonely. :( Maybe I'll go to my grandma's if I feel well enough. Yeah, this was really stupid. The only reason this journal is active in the first place was so I could read GaryMiles's. Watch me not update it ever again after this. Or maybe I will. Who knows. current mood: crappy current music: A Thorn For Every Heart - Pretty When You Cry

is it just me?

Saturday, May 15th, 2004

12:20 am

What time did you start this?: 11:52 pm Name?: Amanda Date of birth?: December 25, 1988 Sex?: Female Height?: 5'1" Eye color?: Green Weight?: 120 Location?: The other day, I heard someone say "They're from Schenec".. I live in Schenec Where were you born?: Schenec, lol Do you have crush on someone?: Yeah Do you have a bf/gf?: Adam What are you wearing right now?: A blue t-shirt and underwear Would you have sex before marriage?: Sure Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers? Yeah Are you a virgin?: Yeah Do you smoke?: No Do you drink?: No Are you ghetto?: A little Are you a player?: No What are your favorite colors?: Pink and white What is your favorite animal?: I like practically all animals, it's hard to choose a favorite Do you have any birthmarks?: A few Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?: Not yet.. it's bound to happen though Who are your best friends?: Jami, Rose, Erica Have you ever beat someone up? Not yet Have you ever been slapped?: Yes Do you get online a lot?: I guess, less than I used to though Are you shy or outgoing?: Both Do you shower?: Um, yeah.. doesn't everyone? Do you hate school?: Not necessarily.. I only hate certain classes Do you have a social life?: Of course How easily do you trust people? I don't trust anyone Have you ever lied to your best friends?: Yeah Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing? No Would you ever sky dive?: Um, don't think so Do you like to dance?: Yeah Have you ever been out of state?: Yeah, and out of country Do you like to travel?: Sure Do you want to get out of your hometown?: Not really Are you spoiled?: Definitely not Are you a brat?: No Have you ever been dumped?: Yes What's your favorite drink?: Any kind of soda Do you like Snapple?: Sure Do you drink a lot of water?: I never drink water What toothpaste do you use?: Mentadent, but I hate brushing my teeth, I gag every time I do Do you have a cell phone or pager?: Cell phone Do you have a curfew?: No, my mom's a psycho Who do you look up to?: No one What name brand do you wear the most?: I don't know, it doesn't really matter to me What kind of jewelry do you wear?: Real silver and gold What do you have for piercings? My ears What do you want pierced?: I'm doing my nipple soon, and I want my tongue done Do you like taking pictures?: I guess Do you like getting your picture taken?: No Do you have a tan?: No, but I'm gonna get one, watch Do you get annoyed easily?: Sometimes.. depends Have you ever started a rumor?: No Do you have your own phone/line?: No Do you have your own pool?: No Do you have any siblings?: Yeah, just my sister Do you prefer boxers or briefs? Boxers Have you ever been cheated on?: Not that I know of Have you ever cheated on someone?: Yes Do you get along with your parents?: Always with my dad, and most of the time with my mom How do you vent your anger?: Um, I don't Have you ever run away?: No Have you ever been fired from a job?: I haven't had a job yet Do you have a job?: No Do you daydream a lot?: Yeah, that's what I do in most of my classes Do you have a lot of ex's?: Only like 8 Do you run your mouth?: Yeah What do you want a tattoo of? A bunch of stuff, mostly band logos and stuff What do you have a tattoo of?: Nothing What are your favorite flowers?: The ones Adam got me from the bathroom the other day Have you ever been bitched out?: No When was the last time you bitched someone out?: I don't think I ever have What was the last compliment you received?: That my hair looks good Do you like getting dirty?: Um, sure Is your bellybutton an innie or outie?: Innie.. it used to be an outie Are you flexible?: Not really What is your heritage?: Mostly Czechoslovakian, Polish, and French Canadian What does your hair look like right now?: Same as it usually does Could you ever be a vegetarian?: No.. fish is my favorite food When was your last real heartbreak?: Never, hahaaaa Describe your looks?: If you're reading this, you probably know what I look like Would you ever date someone younger than you?: I am right now Would you ever date someone older than you?: I have When was the last time you were drunk?: Never Would you rather give or receive oral sex?: Probably receive Have you ever given? No Have you ever received? No Have you ever had an eating disorder? Haha, me? Hell no How many rings until you answer the phone? It takes two rings for the name and number to show up Have you ever been skinny dipping?: No, I wouldn't want to either Do you look more like your mother or father?: My father Do you cry a lot?: No Do you ever cry to get your way? No Are you the romantic type?: Sometimes Have you ever been chased by cops?: No What do you like most about your body?: Everything What do you like least about your body?: Nothing In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes? Brunettes What do the shoes you last wore look like?: My black Vans with the pink stripe on them Do you ever wear shirts to show your belly?: Yes What about cleavage?: No Is your best friend a virgin?: I have like three best friends.. two are, one isn't What color are your underwear right now?: Black What size shoe do you wear?: 7 1/2 What jewelry are you wearing now?: My silver watch, my silver ring, my silver XO bracelet, my gold diamond ring, and a big purple rubberband that Adam wanted me to wear What is your screen name on AIM: Serenity6438 What are you feeling right now?: Bored and tired What do you sleep in?: T-shirt Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?: Plenty, but I don't mind.. I'm used to it and everything What is one of your bad qualities?: I'm a narcissist What is one of your good qualities?: Just about everything else Would you marry for money?: Nope What do you drive?: Nothing yet, I should be getting a car next summer Are you more of a mommy or daddy's child?: Well, I live with my mom.. um.. neither When was the last time you cried in school?: Never have What time are you finishing this?: 12:20 am current mood: tired current music: Misfits - Dr. Phibes Rises Again

1 *is it just me?

Friday, May 7th, 2004

6:25 pm

I love DavidGunn more than anything for writing that great entry about me and the pathetic idiots who hate me. He's so right. This "Let's all hate Amanda Penny" thing is getting way out of hand. Today, fucking Catherine Stewart was walking behind me in the hall, and then kicked me really hard in the back of my leg, hard enough to leave a scrape that looks like an imprint of a shoe. I don't even know her, I've never done anything to her, so I really can't understand why she would hate me so much as to try to physically harm me. This happened right after Adam gave me a note that Hannah wanted him to give to me. It says: Hey, ya know, eye really do want to be just like you. You're just so cool and individual and you give great hand jobs. Dave Gunn told me about it. Love always and forever, Wife How stupid is she, really? Just like Dave said, if she hated me so much, she wouldn't pay so much attention to me. She even wrote "I want to be just like Amanda Penny!" on a desk in my Bio classroom, and he said she made a shirt that said that or something. I mean, I hate her, but I would never wear a shirt saying I wanted to be like her, because I don't. She obviously really does wanna be like me, cuz why else would she be giving me so much attention that does nothing but make me feel better about myself? The answer's simple: She's jealous of me. That's it. Same goes for Heather Kaminski. She thinks I'm jealous of her cuz she goes out with Sean Joyce. Yeah, SEAN JOYCE. It's totally ridiculous. Sean's like the stupidest person in Schenectady high school. Believe it or not, I think more people hate him than me. I know A LOT of people who hate him, he's known for being an asshole. Like DavidGunn said, Heather has nothing going for her. You don't even have to know her to see that, all you have to know about her is that she's dating Sean Joyce. How and when did this whole Amanda Penny controversy start? I don't even know. It was just an all-of-a-sudden thing I guess. DavidGunn was right when he said I just thrive off of all the attention you losers give me, so please, just keep hating me. Make me more arrogant than I already am. Hey! Then maybe you can hate me even more! Yeah. Or maybe, just maybe you could find something better to do with your time. I wonder how long it took Hannah to make that shirt Dave mentioned. I don't know what it looks like, but maybe if she wanted it to look nice, it could've taken her about an hour. Well, guess what? That was an hour of her life, dedicated to Amanda Penny, of whom she supposedly hates. I must be really great. I mean, I don't even seek attention, but I sure do get a lot of it. No wonder why I'm so damn stuck-up! If you're reading this, and you hate me, guess what? I hate you more. current mood: accomplished current music: mister monster - scars 19

1 *is it just me?

Friday, April 30th, 2004

6:12 pm

ANYONE WHO'S ANYONE HATES AMANDA PENNY! If you don't do so by FOLLOWING everyone else, you're a loser! Don't be mistaken, I don't CARE if people hate me. You know why? Because I KNOW that I'm better than them, hence they're all fucking JEALOUS of me. It's the truth. Heather Kaminski said to DavidGunn "You know who I hate? Amanda Penny!". She's obviously jealous of me and she's just mad cuz she goes out with none other than SEAN JOYCE! Ew! The day I start caring that people hate me is the day Dave decides to hate me cuz he decides it's too much work to not hate me while practically everyone else he knows does. In my mind, this is very unlikely, but you never know. As long as no one I actually like hates me, it's all good. Tom has officially been taken off my list of people I like. He has a problem with me now (Not that he didn't before, but he never said anything about it) because I supposedly told Mike not to hang out with Sean anymore. I didn't though, all I said was that Mike SHOULDN'T hang out with Sean cuz he's a fucking asshole. He knows how much I hate Sean, but I really don't mind if he hangs out with him. Tom's like the most stuck-up person ever. I don't usually have a problem with stuck-up people, seeing as I'm one, but most stuck-up people have reasons to be stuck-up. He doesn't. He's a fucking loser. I really hate saying that, but it's true. current mood: amused current music: nine inch nails - sanctified

5 *is it just me?

Sunday, April 18th, 2004

9:30 pm

It's official that Sully Erna is the hottest man on the planet. I know, a lot of other people think so too, but it's official cuz I said so. Besides, I liked Godsmack before any of those stupid bitches. I got this Godsmack dvd today, and it has all behind-the-scenes shit. It has Sully naked, Sully fighting, Sully drunk, Sully stoned, Sully breaking stuff, and of course, Sully performing. It's just great. Supposedly, liking Godsmack makes me "Dumb", I guess cuz they're so mainstream. If you think that... FUCK YOU. I've liked them for five years, you assholes. They're fucking great. No one reading this will ever have a Godsmack experience like I've had. Anyway. Not much else is new, except that I go out with Mike now. Yeah, he's great. current mood: tired current music: nine inch nails - the wretched

2 *is it just me?

Saturday, April 10th, 2004

12:53 am

Name?:: Amanda Location?:: Schenectady, NY Age?:: 15 Natural hair color?:: Blonde Eye color?:: Blue and green Height?:: 5'1" Weight?:: 120 DO YOU Play an instrument?:: No, but I used to be pretty good at the guitar Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?:: Nope, not even close Like to sing?:: Yeah Have a job?:: No, but I might get one over the summer just for something to do Have a cell phone?:: Yes Like to play sports?:: No, I hate sports Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:: No Have a crush on someone?:: Sure Live somewhere NOT in the United States?:: Um, no Have more than 5 TVs in your house?:: No, we have three Have any special talents/skills?:: Nope.. I'm not good at anything Excercise daily?:: No Like school?:: It's alright, sometimes CAN YOU Sing the alphabet backwards?:: Nope Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?:: No, I can't even do it with shoes Speak any other languages?:: No, and I don't want to Go a day without food?:: Yes Stay up for more than 24 hours?:: Yes Read music, not just tabs?:: I used to be able to Roll your tongue?:: Yes Eat a whole pizza?:: No, I can usually only eat one piece HAVE YOU EVER Snuck out of the house?:: No Cried to get out of trouble?:: No, I can't force myself to cry Gotten lost in your city?:: No Seen a shooting star?:: No Been to any other countries besides the united states?:: I've been to Canada twice Had a serious surgery?:: I've never had any surgery Stolen something important to someone else?:: No, but I probably would Solved a rubiks cube?:: No Gone out in public in your pajamas?:: Yes Cried over a girl?:: Um, no Cried over a boy?:: Sure Kissed a random stranger?:: No, and I don't think I would Hugged a random stranger?:: No Been in a fist fight?:: No, but it's bound to happen eventually, seeing as so many people dislike me for no reason other than they're jealous of me Been arrested?:: No Done drugs?:: No Had alcohol?:: I've only had a few sips of it throughout my whole life Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?:: No Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?:: No Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?:: No, but I've gone to school not knowing there was a delay due to the snow Swore at your parents?:: No Been to Warped Tour?:: No Kicked a guy where it hurts?:: Yes Been in love?:: No Been close to love?:: No Been to a casino?:: No, and I wouldn't go to one Ran over an animal and killed it?:: No, but I'd feel really bad if I did Broken a bone?:: No Gotten stitches?:: No Had a waterballoon fight in winter?:: No Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?:: No, I don't really like milk that much, I only like the strawberry kind Made homemade muffins?:: I think so Bitten someone?:: Yes Been to disneyland/disneyworld?:: Yes More than 5 times?:: No Been to Niagra Falls?:: Yeah, the Canada side of it Burped in someones face?:: Yes Gotten the chicken pox?:: Haven't we all? WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU Brushed your teeth:: Yesterday Went to the bathroom:: About a half hour ago Saw a movie in theaters:: A few weeks ago Read a book:: Months Had a snow day:: I don't remember Had a party:: When I was really little, for my birthday Had a slumber party:: I've never had one, but I've been to a few a long time ago Made fun of someone:: A few minutes ago Tripped in front of someone:: Last time I was at school, which I think was Tuesday Went to the grocery store:: Yesterday Got sick:: Weeks Cursed:: I don't remember PICK ONE Fruit/vegetables:: Fruit Black/white:: Black Lights on/lights off:: Depends TV/movie:: Movie Car/truck:: Car Body spray/lotion:: Body spray Cash/check:: Cash Pillows/blankets:: Blankets Headache/stomach ache:: Stomach ache Paint/charcoal:: Paint Chinese food/mexican food:: Chinese Summer/winter:: Summer Snow/rain:: Rain Fog/misty:: Fog Rock/rap:: Rock Meat/vegetarian:: Meat Boy/girl:: Both Chocolate/vanilla:: Vanilla Sprinkles/icing:: Sprinkles Cake/pie:: Pie French toast/french fries:: French fries Strawberries/blueberries:: Strawberries Ocean/swimming pool:: Swimming pool Hugs/kisses:: Both Cookies/muffins:: Cookies Wallet/pocket:: Pocket Emo/goth:: Neither Pink/purple:: Pink Cat/dog:: Cat Long sleeve/short sleeve:: Short sleeve Pants/shorts:: Pants Winter break/spring break:: Spring break Spring/autumn:: Autumn Clouds/clear sky:: Clear sky Moon/mars:: Moon FRIENDSHIP How many friends do you have?:: I'd say about ten What are their names?:: I don't wanna name them Do you have a best friend?:: A few Have you ever liked one of your friends?:: Um, yeah Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?:: Guys, they're easier to get along with Have you ever lost a friend?:: Well yeah, but I didn't care Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?:: Yes Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?:: Me and Gary have some good ones Have you ever gotten in a big arguement with a friend?:: Yes, and I was right of course Whats the nicest thing you've ever done for a friend?:: I don't know, I've probably never done anything really nice for a friend Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?:: I don't know Do you miss any of your old friends?:: No, because they're old friends for a reason What friend have you known the longest?:: Sarah Do you regret anything you've done to a friend?:: Yeah If so, what is it?:: The way I treated Sarah in seventh grade cuz I was a retard How often do you spend time with your friends?:: I don't really see them much outside of school Do any of your friends drive?:: Yes Has a friend of yours ever died?:: No Whats the dumbest thing you've done with a friend?:: I don't remember What do you think your friends think of you?:: I don't know, hopefully nothing bad OTHER STUFF What is your favourite genre of music?:: Rock What time is it now?:: 12:43 am What day is it?:: Saturday Whens the last time you called someone?:: I don't even remember How much money do you have right now?:: About $60 Are you hungry?:: Yeah Whatcha doin?:: This survey Do you like parades?:: Not really Do you like the moon?:: I guess What are you going to do when youre done with this?:: Probably go to bed Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?:: No If you could have any magical power what would it be?:: I don't know Have you ever had a picnic?:: No Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?:: No What about sock em boppers?:: No Are you wearing any socks right now?:: No DO YOU THINK YOU ARE funny?:: Yeah pretty?:: I think I'm alright sarcastic?:: Sometimes lazy?:: Yes hyper?:: Rarely friendly?:: Not really evil?:: Sometimes smart?:: Yes strong?:: No talented?:: No, I'm not good at anything dorky?:: Nope FOR OR AGAINST suicide:: Whatever love:: For drunk drivers:: Against airplanes:: For war:: Against I guess canada:: For united states:: For rock music:: For gay marriage:: I don't know.. school:: For surveys:: For parents:: For cars:: For killing:: Against britney spears:: I don't care coffee:: For, even though I don't like it pants:: For WOULD YOU EVER Sky dive?:: No Play strip poker?:: Probably Run away?:: Maybe if I had somewhere to go Curse at a teacher?:: No Not take a shower for a week?:: Yes Ask someone out?:: Only if I was certain they'd say yes Lie to someone to make them think better of you?:: Depends who they are Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:: Sure Go scuba diving?:: I can't swim Write a book?:: If I had a good idea for one, sure Become a rockstar?:: If I had the talent Have casual sex?:: I don't know LAST QUESTIONS What shampoo do you use?:: I don't really know Whens the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex?:: Um.. What kind of computer do you have?:: Compaq? What grade are you in?:: 9th Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?:: No Or just make out?:: Maybe How many posters do you have in your room?:: Four I think How many cds do you have?:: I don't know, never counted What time is it now?:: 12:53 am current mood: sleepy current music: tool - the patient

is it just me?

Thursday, April 8th, 2004

9:28 pm

I totally hung out with DavidGunn for three hours today! It was awesome, he's so better than you. Just imagine how superior our offspring would be. Yeah, I know, it's unimaginable. He's one of very few people who can actually see how cool I really am. I thought maybe if someone saw me walking with him to Stewart's, they'd know I was awesome, but I didn't see anyone. That's okay though, cuz people will know, eventually. I love DavidGunn. current mood: loved current music: mister monster - transylvania-mania

66 *is it just me?

2:32 pm

So, last night I saw Godsmack for the third time, and guess what?! Sully finally sang Serenity to me! It was great! It was like the greatest moment in my life. And plus, I got to hang out with Mike during Ill Nino and before Godsmack came on, which was also great. I know all you losers who didn't go are jealous, so HAHA! That's all. current mood: good current music: mister monster - little frankenstein

1 *is it just me?

Thursday, April 1st, 2004

9:40 pm

People I DON'T hate (at school): * DavidGunn Just because he's so much better than you. We totally rule the school. * Rose * Jami * Sabrina * Sarah * Mike G. * Gary and Tommy, I guess. Everyone else just sucks. Maybe later I should write about how much I hate certain people, and write about every single bad thing about them. Actually, I don't think they deserve it. Nevermind. current mood: indifferent current music: mister monster - glow

5 *is it just me?

Sunday, March 21st, 2004

8:20 pm

Denis Leary is the only person in the world who can make smoking look cool. current mood: blank current music: denis leary - voices in my head

2 *is it just me?

Friday, March 12th, 2004

9:42 pm

The Generic Teenager Stereotype Do you drink [alcohol]?: No Do you party a lot? How often?: Nope, I don't get invited to parties Do you use drugs for recreational purposes?: No How often do you use the word like in an average hour?: I don't know, a lot Do you skip classes? How often?: Not really, only Spanish every once in a while Do you have casual sex? Protected?: I don't have sex Do you steal?: Sometimes Do you wear inappropriate clothing?: No Do you drool over celebrities?: Some Do you watch a lot of TV?: Not really Do you ever watch the News?: Only when my mom's watching it Do you even care about world issues?: Nope Do you read books often?: No, I used to Are you failing a lot of your classes?: Only math, and I'm pretty close to failing Bio Do you spend most of your time with your friends?: No Do you smoke cigarettes?: No Do you hang out a lot in malls, or at Seven Eleven?: No Do you often find yourself with a crush on someone?: Yeah Do you cuss a lot?: I guess Are you desperate to fit in?: No Are you intelligent?: I think so The Goth Stereotype Black lipstick?: Ew, no Black eyeliner?: Yeah Black eyeshadow?: No Black trenchcoat?: That's a big NO Black boots?: Sure Black fishnets?: No Black nail polish?: No Cigarettes?: No Heavy metal music?: Some Marilyn Manson?: Yeah, he has some really good songs, especially 'The Reflecting God' Kittie?: No Cradle of Filth?: EW, definitely no Constant frown and perpetual angst?: No Do you like to be seen as: No Are you an intellectual?: No An atheist?: No Horrible home life?: Sometimes Hopelessly depressed?: No Suffering with suicidal idealations?: No Self-mutilation?: No The Punk Stereotype Plaid?: No Big black boots?: No Mohawk?: No Excessive piercings? [Especially facial]: Um, no Loud, confident and opinionated?: Sure Wild hair colors?: Definitely no NOFX?: Nope Rancid?: Nope Well versed on political scandals and outrages?: Haha, no A: [anarchy]: No The Jock Sterotype What's your IQ?: 113 Do you watch a lot of sports?: I hate sports Play a lot of sports?: No Talk a lot about sports?: No Do you do anything, really, but think about sports?: Yeah Are you arrogant?: Sorta Are you a male or female whore?: No Are you homophobic?: No Do you tease other people a lot because you want to seem confident?: Sure But really you're a quivering mass of insecurity?: Nope Boobs = yes?: Sure Parties = yes?: I guess Dropping out of high school and flipping burgers = yes?: No The Girl Stereotype Do you spend a lot of time on your appearence?: Maybe like 20-30 minutes a day Have you ever been on a diet?: Lol, nope How much did you lose?: Nothing Was it not so much a diet as it was an eating disorder?: ... Make yourself throw up?: Nope Make-up?: A little bit Low-cut tops?: Sure How big are your boobies? [Cup size]: 34B Do you flip your hair when you talk, even if you don't realize it?: No Giggle a lot?: Not really What's the deal with boys?: I don't know, I wonder... ? Thongs?: Nope Pretty bras?: Sure YM, Teen, Cosmo, et al?: Yeap Who's the weaker sex?: Both, for different reasons Are you a feminist?: No Do you think Brad Pitt is hot?: Sometimes How often do you shave your legs?: Whenever I feel like it How about your armpits?: Whenever I take a shower Are you emotional?: Yeah Especially when on your period?: No different than when I don't This Or That Originality or Acceptance?: Originality Independence or Companionship?: Companionship Stability or Freedom?: Both Personal or Interpersonal?: Both Introvert or Extrovert?: Extrovert, I'm an introvert though :/ Popularity or Isolation?: Depends Unique or Loved?: How can you choose between the two? Understood or Individual?: ^ You or Them?: Me current mood: sore current music: nfg - ballad for the lost romantics

4 *is it just me?

Tuesday, March 9th, 2004

3:27 pm

Go here and listen. It's 'Running Blind' from Godsmack's new acoustic album that's coming out next tuesday. Sully's voice sounds really good. My dad's taking me to see them at the Palace Theatre on April 7th, and this time Sully's gonna sing 'Serenity' to me cuz they'll probably play an acoustic set. HAHA! Oh, and if you think Godsmack sucks, then don't talk to me cuz you're really gay. current mood: happy current music: oomph! - augen auf

2 *is it just me?

Friday, February 27th, 2004

9:06 pm

Lol, Sisser's got a mad thugged-out ringtone! Stunt 101! I always send her text messages so I can hear it. I'd get that one if I could get ringtones on my phone, but I can't. Mine's still better though, she can't send text messages to people who are on AIM, which sucks. Anyways. I'm not friends with Erica anymore, she's a stupid bitch. I went to first lunch the other day, and she fuckin' told Ms. Bustillo when she asked her if she saw me. It might not seem like a big deal, but it's something you just don't do to your friends. She only did it cuz she was mad that I was hanging out with Rose and Jami instead of coming to Spanish to talk to her, cuz she's a fucking hater. I ain't really down with her not liking my friends either. She said I'd do the same thing in that situation, but I wouldn't. Rose and Jami both said they'd say "Amanda who?", cuz they're good friends. That's just really fucked up. Erica said it might not be too smart to fuck with her cuz I guess her mom would beat me up or some shit, lol. I wasn't gonna fuck with her though, so long as she gives me my shit back. Me and her didn't really have much in common anyway. But, yeah. I'm probably gonna go over to Jami's for the day tomorrow, I haven't been to her new house yet. I love her. current mood: restless current music: mister monster - 'til the end

1 *is it just me?

Saturday, February 21st, 2004

1:09 am

Yeah man. Sisser's sleeping at Ashley's right now. I'm lonely without my sisser :(. They went to Rollerama. I'm telling you, that place is only for losers. So, what does that say about them? That Gotham Road show in Poughkeepsie's tomorrow, and I don't think I'm going. My fucking mom won't take me. She was saying her car won't make it there or some shit like that, but it got there when we went to see Godsmack. I guess it's alright though, Michale will come here to see me eventually, cuz he loves me and everything. I'm sorry Michale, I love you too sexy :(. But, yeah. I'm talking to Rose right now. Me and her got way too many jokes on Damian. She's gonna bring over Lion King 1 1/2 soon so we can watch it, I have to see that. And then she's gonna show me how to kick someone's ass, lol. current mood: listless current music: mister monster - amy sue

is it just me?

Thursday, February 5th, 2004

7:43 pm

I hate when people say stupid shit. Yeah. I'm talking to Patrick right now, I have nothing to do. Damian said if we don't have school tomorrow, he'd come over. I guess that'd be pretty cool. We'll probably have school though. Maybe? Hopefully I'll be going to the mall with Jami tomorrow. I guess we'd go with Gary and Darrin to see Barber Shop 2. That is, if my mom lets me. She was saying something about how if there's too much snow, I can't go. But whatever. I might go see Gotham Road on the 21st, and see my man. If I do go, I'd probably ask Rose to come with me. And Sisser of course. But I don't know. Maybe? Anyway. I guess my mom's gonna call this guy about doing my tattoo. I wanna get it on my wrist, but she won't let me. She thinks it's immature that I want it there. So I don't know. For those of you who don't know what Pearl Jam's 'Alive' logo looks like, it's here if you wanna see. How cool is that? My mom has the same one on her chest. Check this out: Lol, yeah baby. current mood: content current music: samhain - all murder, all guts, all fun

is it just me?

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004

8:49 pm

<3 current mood: hungry current music: danzig - sistinas

1 *is it just me?

Saturday, January 31st, 2004

7:46 pm

LAST .. :x: movie you went to see = Big Fish :x: movie you bought = A Graves video, I just haven't gotten it yet :x: song you listened to = Rammstein - Wollt Ihr Das Bett In Flammen Sehen :x: song that was stuck in your head = Misfits - Halloween :x: cd you bought = Danzig - I Luciferi :x: cd you listened to = Misfits - Famous Monsters :x: person you've called = Erica :x: person that's called you = Erica :x: tv show you've watched = Grounded For Life :x: person you were thinking of = Jami, I miss hanging out with her :( DO .. :x: you have a bf or gf = Nope :x: you have a crush on someone = Yeah :x: you wish you could live somewhere else = No, I kinda like it here :x: you think about suicide = No :x: you believe in online dating = No :x: others find you attractive = I guess so :x: you want more piercings = I want my navel done :x: you like cleaning = No :x: you like roller coasters = Yeah :x: you write in cursive or print = Print :x: you carry a donor card = No FOR OR AGAINST .. :x: long distance relationships = Against :x: using someone = Against :x: killing people = For, if they deserve it :x: teenage smoking = For, I want more teens to smoke, just to further support the fact that people are stupid :x: premarital sex = For I guess :x: driving drunk = Against :x: gay/lesbian relationship = I'm not gonna say anything about this :x: soap operas = Against FAVORITE .. :x: food = Fruit and McDonald's :x: song = Currently, Black Dream by Samhain.. I think Black by Pearl Jam might be my favorite song of ever.. it's definitely the best song ever written :x: thing to do = Make fun of Jeremy :x: thing to talk about = Music, especially with stupid people :x: sports = None :x: soda = Probably Pepsi Vanilla, but I like all soda :x: clothes = I don't know, whatever :x: movie = Grease, Out Cold, Cheats :x: band/singer = Pearl Jam :x: holiday = Halloween, Christmas :x: new nerdy saying = Umm.. ? :x: disney movie = The Lion King :x: scent = I don't know :x: word = ? :x: nickname = ?! :x: guy name = Eddie, Michale :x: girl name = Skylar :x: eye color = Brown :x: hair color = Brown :x: flower = I don't know :x: piercing = None :x: actor = Johnny Depp :x: ever cried over a girl/boy = Sure :x: ever lied to someone = Duh :x: ever been in a fist fight = No :x: ever been arrested = No NUMBER .. :x: of times I have been in love? = Don't know :x: of times I have had my heart broken? = Don't know :x: of drugs taken illegally? = None :x: of people I consider my enemies? = 3723847024 :x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = Once, when I was born :x: of scars on my body? = Probably around 20 :x: of things in my past that I regret? = A few DO YOU THINK YOU ARE .. :x: handsome/pretty = I'd say I'm alright :x: funny = Yeah, even if other people don't.. fuck them :x: hot = Sorta :x: friendly = I try to be :x: amusing = Maybe :x: ugly = No :x: loveable = Yeah :x: pessimistic = Sometimes :x: optimistic = Usually :x: caring = Usually :x: sweet = Not really :x: dorky = No :x: Spell your first name back wards x: adnamA :x: The story behind your user name x: It was the name of a Courtney Love site, I used to like her, no clue why, I fucking hate her :x: Are you straight? x: Yes :x: Where do you live? x: Schenectady :x: 4 words that sum you up x: ? DESCRIBE YOUR - :x: Wallet x: Don't have one :x: Toothbrush x: White and pink :x: Pillow cover x: White with flowers, but I'm gonna get the Misfits one tomorrow.. it'll match my room :x: Blanket x: Black with white and tan flowers :x: Coffee cup x: I hate coffee, it's like the nastiest thing in the world :x: Sunglasses x: Don't have any :x: Shoes x: Black Chuck Taylors with awesome shoelaces :x: Favorite top x: It's a Pearl Jam shirt, and the money I paid for it helps animals :x: CD in stereo right now x: I Luciferi :x: What you are wearing now x: A Misfits t-shirt and pajama pants :x: hair x: Same as always WHO or WHAT (was/is/are) - :x: In my mouth x: Saliva :x: In my head x: My brain :x: Wishing x: I could get on my screen name :x: After this x: I'm gonna sign on Yahoo :x: Talking to x: No one :x: If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason? x: I don't know.. :x: Person you wish you could see right now x: No one :x: Is next to you x: The wall :x: Something that you are deathly afraid of? x: I'm not "Deathly" afraid of anything :x: Do you like candles x: Sure :x: Do you like hot wax x: Sure :x: Do you like incense x: Sure :x: Do you like the taste of blood x: It's alright :x: Do you believe in love x: Of course :x: Do you believe in soul mates x: Yeah :x: Do you believe in love at first sight x: Nope, and anyone who does is stupid.. you have to know someone to love them :x: Do you believe in forgiveness x: Yes :x: Do you believe in God x: Yes, but I don't really give a shit about him :x: What do you want done with your body when you die x: Buried :x: Who is your worst enemy? x: I don't know :x: If you could have any animal for a pet x: Sting ray :x: Can you eat with chopsticks x: Nope :x: What's your favorite coin?: The chocolate ones :x: What are some cities you wouldn't mind relocating to?: Seattle, NYC current mood: lethargic current music: gotham road - creo burn

is it just me?

Thursday, January 29th, 2004

1:05 pm - 101 Rules To Being Hardcore...

1) Be tough at all times. 2) Never cheer after a show, only clap. 3) Be open minded in a "punch people" kind of way 4) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are sentences with bad grammar. Boy Hits Car, Boy Sets Fire, Skycamefalling, Boy Sets Car-fire. 5) Ankles are tough so bring your socks down into your shoes so we can see them. 6) Tattoos are tough especially when they are on your calves. See Rule 5 on how to see your tattoo more clearly. 7) Wear your hoody in the mosh pit because sweating like a wild pig makes you look tough. 8) Don't admit you listen to heavy metal. 9) (Exception to rule 8) Only admit you listen to heavy metal if you think it is ironic and you wear 80's cheese metal shirts. 10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends. 11) Practice hardcore dancing in front of your mirror and then try it out the next time Atreyu comes to town. 12) A hardcore band is only original if you call it something-core. Example Screamcore, emocore, Screamocore, mathcore, or Medio-core. 13) Remember, it's fun to punch and kick kung fu style. 14) Keep it in the do-jo. 15) Real hardcore fans are called kids. 16) Complain how hardcore bands are playing with metal bands at all costs! 17) Have your own zine, website, production company or be in a band. Claim you are friends with the singer from Shai Hulud. 18) Tell people you work in the music industry. 19) More Ankles people! 20) Embrace everybody in the scene except for those people who are not you. 21) Refer to bands as old school or new school then act tough again. 22) Pretend that you get Dillinger Escape plan. 23) Shop at second hand stores and then go buy expensive shoes. 24) Beat people up and then go to bible study class. 25) Smoking and drinking and having sex before marriage is too trendy. Real hardcore tough guys abstain. 26) Whatever you do, don't let the singer on stage ever sing in the mic. Make sure you grab it from him and sing in it yourself, after all, you do a better job singing then him. It's a wonder they didn't put you on the album. 27) Start your own hardcore band. 28) Have your logo resemble some random 80's product for nostalgia. 29) Talk about the scene any chance you get. Say as many obscure hardcore bands from NJ as possible. 30) If you are shy start an emo band so you don't have to look at the audience. 31) People who know more bands than you are better than you. 32) Add the Letter X before and after important words. XhardcorekidX XmoshfuckX 33) Never say "Did you hear the new Strung Out?" Unless you are attempting to be funny in which case stop it because hardcore kids are tough not funny. 34) It's merch not Merchandise. 35) Hardcore girls must wear head bands at all times. 36) Stretch your ears out to look more intimidating. 37) The bigger you stretch your ears out the more hardcore you are. 38) Your ear should be stretched out enough to accommodate a block of wood, a hubcap or a penis. 39) People in the front row are best used as a ladder/staircase to reach your goal... steal the mic away from the singer. 40) When people ask you if you like a band always say "I only like the old stuff" or "I haven't really gotten into the new stuff." 41) Buy all of that bands merch. 42) Wear your new merch at the next hardcore show. 43) Repeat steps 41 and 42 44) If you have to wear glasses make sure they are thick, black framed ones. 45) Don't tell anybody but make sure you try on your new vintage clothes and stud belt before heading out to see Poison the well. 46) Never admit you don't like Hatebreed and go see them live 12 times a year. 47) Complain that they are playing with Slayer but don't admit you actually like Slayer. 48) Complain at all costs. 49) Tag team hardcore dancing is cool 50) Real hardcore kids are really struggling photographers. 51) You don't go to hardcore concerts, you go to hardcore shows. BIG difference. 52) Name your hardcore dance move things like "The mother fuck" or "kick that guys ass move" or better yet... stay home and cry. 53) Protect your body from swinging limbs by sacrificing your two arms. 54) Scream about love. 55) All age venues are important so you are not tempted to drink. 56) Claim you know a guy who knows a guy whose best friend was standing next to the guy who got his ass kicked during Converge. Bash the hardcore scene and then go see The Get Up Kids. 57) Anytime somebody mentions a band always say you know somebody in the band. 58) Wear your pins with honor! Shai Hulud, American Nightmare, Minor Threat and the purple heart of valour. 59) Velcro shoes are cool. 60) Don't admit that you have a crush on the singer from Walls of Jericho. If somebody asks, say you respect her as a musician only. 61) Your band name should contain one of the following words: Blood, Murder, Kill, Victim or butterfly. 62) Print your band name as if it was on a bad printing press. Actual graphics are for posers. 63) Sleep on a portrait painted prettier then everyone. 64) 100 bands from around the world is to play in your city. All of them are the world's best hardcore bands, every label represented, every hardcore genre present. The venue is the best all-ages venue in the world. Tickets are $1.00. It is your job to go around saying the festival should be free. 65) Record producers must make sure to pump the mid because mid is tough. 66) Re-issue your demos after every album. 67) When the band starts playing everybody join hands and make a big circle so we can watch the big kids play. 68) Crying on stage makes you a professional. 69) Complain some more. 70) Album covers must be made at home on Photoshop by your good friend. 71) If you are from New York NEVER smile in a promo pic. In fact always try to cross your arms and look into the camera as if you are going to beat up whom ever is looking. 72) If you are from New Jersey NEVER smile in a promo pic either. In fact try to look like you just lost your girl friend to the hardcore band from New York. 73) Never admit that Emo is Country music lyrics mixed with pop rock riffs and marketed by 17 year olds trying to make their friend be the next Dashboard Confessional. 74) American Idol is your worst enemy. (But you voted for Ruben) 75) You can get away with glitter on your face as long as your stretched ear plugs are clear. 76) Fuck beer, Got breast milk? 77) Bandanas are cool. 78) Bandanas with big X's on them are cooler. 79) Bandanas with big X's on them were cool last week you poser. 80) Your best friend is a guy named XattackX from Jersey who you chat with on MSN everyday. He is coming to see you one day. Really. 81) Chunky breakdowns in your songs are original and you should continue to do them despite every other band doing them which is clearly a rip off of your band. 82) Judge other bands and always compare them to the socio-cultural effects of the band Integrity. 83) Look up Socio-cultural in the dictionary and then get offended. 84) Green Day is the real reason you are still alive. 85) Describe your group of friends as "the scene" and then watch bootlegs of last weeks 86) Obey the laws of the hardcore scene or forever be banished from the circle. 87) When somebody asks you what is hardcore respond with "I am hardcore" then punch somebody in the face for looking at you wrong. 88) Keep punching 89) Kick a little too 90) Punch 91) Add a threat about their mother for good measure. 92) Pretend you won the fight then pickup your dismembered left arm. 93) You are wearing the same thing as the 40-year-old gas pump attendant but for some strange mystical reason you are cooler than he is. 94) Tell everybody that Trustkill Records are too trendy. 95) Did you stop acting tough? I saw you hug that teddy bear. 96) Pierce your tits and tattoo your body. 97) Straight bangs means straight-edge 98) Being vegan means you can't swallow sperm. 99) When in doubt Mock everything 100) Take everything personally. 101) Assume this list is about you current mood: lonely current music: graves - tell me (live)

1 *is it just me?

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