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January 1st, 2004

11:44 am - Time to ring in the New Year.. I'm scared. It's just plain to see sometimes. I'm scared of how people are viewing me lately. Am I becoming the annoying bitch who people don't want to hang out with anymore? What's been happening in my head? I'm scared that I'm being seen as the bad person and Jackie is being seen as the good person. Why? Because the people who I thought were my friends don't miss me. They miss her. But why do I even care about these people being my friends or not? Well because they have pretty much become my only friends as of lately. I've neglected the other good friends I've had. There I admitted it. I've been a bitch to the good friends and only focusing on the bad ones. But the thing is when did I start considering them my friends? It doesn't matter now I guess. I'm going to be leaving and going off to who knows where. I don't even know still. And I won't till I graduate I guess. Four years ago I knew right away since I did early admission. I was set to go, no stopping me. This year I have possibly 100s of other people to compete against because now everybody is just like me. Great grades, great senior project, graduated magma cum laude, etc... Anyway I just can't win. I mean Jackie might not be even leaving town when she graduates. I thought before this that she'll be away in Florida and I won't have her right there in my face to deal with. But no, now she'll be in Lynchburg and I'll be somewhere else, maybe even home, jobless and alone. Its a challenge, I can tell. I can believe that she's genuinely happy for us now but I still don't trust her as far as I can throw her. And if I don't trust someone, I don't want them within the same town limits as someone I care about. Same goes for Katie, but that's another story that I have real concrete evidence against. So how can I just go on and not worry about her? How can I just be happy with the fact that I am happy and in love? Why does she affect me so much? I know its probably because I do emphasis with her a lot. And I guess I just want her to be as far away because I could possibly be protecting her from the pain I felt 5 years ago? Now that's too nice of me but can it be that? But then again she's older then I was, more mature (in a way). She probably has been able to move on faster and accept it. But how can you accept the feeling of being someone's love until they found something else, something better? That hurts. And I don't know if she's fully over that. Who knows? Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Ace of Base - 'Run Away'

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July 21st, 2003

08:02 pm - Got to think and it hurts... I guess my deadjournal is turning into my emotional, metaphysical, fucking random shit journal hehehe. I guess I just wanted to post about things, yeah things. I just got imed from this dude out of nowhere who I talked to like back in the beginning of this past semester. That guy lead me on somewhat then turned around and had a girlfriend. Very interesting. I sort of ignored him for the longest time after that. Why do these things happen to me? I bet you if I went to TR by myself and Chad saw me, he probably would start hitting on me too. I hardly remember this guy too. I think we had some good interests going on or something. Whatever. Doesn't really matter to me anyway. Its hillarious that he remembers though. Damn, am I that memorable? It makes you wonder, it really does. Hmph... I'm just totally weirded out. What other familiar strangers are going to start coming out of the woodworks? Is it because I'm taken and not really at liberty to entertain them anymore? And when I say entertain I mean talk to them in a flirty manner. I'm busting this guy's balls. I'm actually being the cool chick right now. Weird, where did she come from? Okay I'm going to go before this gets even weirder. NOT ON THE MARKET PEOPLE!!! Current Mood: amused Current Music: Nine - 'My Fallacy'

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July 15th, 2003

06:47 pm - Money, sex, and the law.... Boy, that doesn't sound right, does it? ::wink wink:: hehehe I hate money first off. It makes things suck badly a lot. I mean I'm sitting here, getting paid kudo bucks, but can I save the money for the important things? No, I have to spend it on stupid shit, hence the law thing thrown in. Damn cops and their accurate radars. I have to pay that off-$132-plus August's rent-$212.50-plus memory for my computer-$50 or more-plus a desk-$30-plus bathroom cabinet for apartment-$20-plus a chair for that desk-$40. I think that about covers it all. So I'm basically screwed currently. I've hardly spent the money I made before and now there it goes. Why do I have to speed? Why do I ask for it? Ugh... Then I've been looking in my room and I have 7 pictures of Jodi and myself. I have others that I can't really replace since they are our freshmen dance, our senior prom, and graduation. I'm not really replacing them. I'm just putting them away where all the pictures and things of my past have been going. Another part of me that is moving on, dealing with the now and the future. I mean I actually feel better about things. I'm happier now because I don't have to pretend really anymore. I use to force myself to call her or to make time to hang out with her. This was before B and I even started dating. I just haven't felt like I want to talk to her or hang out with her. It's been happening for a long time now. She really doesn't know it herself because I haven't really let in on it to other people besides Mel. Mel's been my rock, my advice giver, my touchstone. She's been there for me in ways that Jodi never had the opportunity or the want to be. It's kind of bad to say but its true. I started smoking last summer and it had to deal with a lot of things. Mel saw one of the reasons and was able to slap it in my face and make me look. She even did the same over Parent's Weekend. I've become a better person and its thanks to her and Pam and all the other people who have helped me change the last 3 years. I know I sort of took the baby way out and never came clean to the true feelings I had. I just don't think she would have accepted it because it wasn't anything she did or could improve. It was me and what I have done in Lynchburg away from her and my family and Chi. She stayed the same, I changed. It's nothing against her. I've just hidden a lot of new things in me but there are other sides that she has seen. I'm more outgoing with new people. I haven't been as shy lately and its because of being on my own and having to come out of my shell. But since I've been hiding those sides of me, like being more independent, able to take care of myself, my family hasn't seen those sides either. I just wish I could keep this person that I am back in Lynchburg and bring them home to meet everybody. I went out and didn't care about others. I made new friends and was able to pull myself away from the safety net of Mel and Pam. I became more confident. I was loving myself and being happy. But just one convo with the family or one night in this house and it all goes away. I guess that's another reason I love spending time with B. I can be the Lynchburg girl with him and be fine with it. But that's also the part that he loves. I'm afraid to get him around my family. I hope I don't change too much and he wonders. I may which is always the case but still, I'm afraid. I think I even changed a little with Jodi around. I have to ask him about that, see if he did notice some change at all. So what was the point behind this rant? I don't know and I don't care. It was good to get some things out. I'm happy when I'm not around certain people and I can't cut out my family entirely hehe. I was glad to have them away last week. It was good because I had to deal with Jodi and I did it on my own with a few phone calls to key people. I got through it and I've learned a little more. ::sigh:: That's life I guess. Maybe one day the family will see it or I'll just force myself to be the one I want to be. Damn split personalities. RANTS ARE GOOD!! Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Meredith Brooks - 'Bitch'

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May 16th, 2003

03:44 pm - Another intersting convo... Okay so Brian called me and apparently he called last night too but I was out with Meesh at the time at the movie. We got to talking, whatever, usual shit. Then he tells me that Jackie and him are now really on a break, like no rules, he can hook up with whomever he wants kind of break. Whoa!!! It ends up they were talking Wednesday night and somehow it came back up about them being on a break. Well SHE suggested them going on a real break, like reconvene in August when school starts up again. That was the weird part about it all. Then we were joking about his room becoming a bachelor pad and such. He has a waterbed that is black leather, queen size too. His parents came up and his father has been asking about me which makes me wonder why his father is curious about me. Does his mother or even Brian mention me one too many times or is he just wondering why this girl is coming to visit for a weekend to go to Busch Gardens? He also brought up the "puddering" in which I told him if someone gives me a good back massage, I'm puddy in their hands. He said that he was going to pudderfy me or something along those lines. It was interesting. So now I'm even more confused about how I'm going to act when I get down there. Now he is single technically and I'm single technically and we have mention how we like each other and how we like to be physical. But I have to remember that Meesh is there. Maybe she will help keep me levelled and I won't get too physical or whatever with him. I'm not very touchy with guys when my sister is around. Who knows? But he is so happy and he did say it to me. He's loving the freedom but its also weird with how happy he is all of a sudden. Makes you wonder a little. I still joked around with him about it and how now he can go down to Va Beach and pick up some chicks whenever he wants. And he was saying how people are visiting him aka Me and Katie. Ugh...why are men so confusing? Current Mood: flirty Current Music: Toys 'R Us Theme song

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May 13th, 2003

04:11 pm - Weird beginnings... Okay had a convo with Brian last night. It was interesting. I had mentioned about Dan and him saying he (as in Dan) was chasing me for a while there this past semester and I think last, don't know the full details. Anyway, he sits there and thinks for a minute and says that he thinks he's been chasing me on here when we talk on aim. I told him that I never thought that if it made things any better. Well he said it didn't really because he never really noticed it I guess. Later I give him my number to get a hold of me in case we don't catch each other online before I go down there with Meesh to go to Busch Gardens. He was going to give me his but I told him that I have caller id so if it comes up, I'll have it that way. Talking some more about different things. He says that he wanted to ask me something but I didn't have to answer him and he apologized if he weirds me out. I say its okay, go ahead because I kind of already knew what was up. He asked me "if i wasn't dating jackie, would you ever consider dating me or do you think it would end up like you and adam and not want to try?" I told him its okay, I wasn't weirded out, that yes I have thought about it and no I never compared how him and I could be to how Adam and I were. I've already told him that Adam and I were kind of on separate wavelengths in the way of how a relationship should be. Then we both kind of admitted that yes we do like each other, have thought about dating each other. So I don't know where that leaves us exactly. He's still with Jackie and he's still happy at times with her. Plus he doesn't want to be the bad guy and break her heart. But he's not happy all the time, he's enjoying the fact that she's not there on his back making him do stuff that he doesn't want to do. He's able to act like himself and loves it. I'm just confused because I really want to start something with him but not if he's with her still. Plus I kind of sympathize with her side. I know where she is coming from with how she acts with him. I was the same way with Chris back in high school. I wasn't this way with Adam because I've gotten over the whole fact of trying to change a guy. As I said in an old survey back in high school, love is basically when you know everything about the other person and yet you still respect them for who they are, despite their good and bad parts. I don't know if I would be good for him either. I could still become that bad girlfriend again. The one who gets jealous easily, obsessive, possessive, whatever, needing the person there all the time and then not wanting them there. I think I've improved but I don't know really. He needs someone as silly as himself, but he seems to think that yeah I'm okay for that. I don't know really. Ugh...what to do, what to do. I guess I'm just going to visit him like I've planned despite what has been said between us and just act the same. Which is a hard thing for me to do if you know me. I always change no matter how hard I try when it comes to situations like these. And I think this is the first time that the feeling is recipricated that I know of. Well at least the first one where the other person was just as open about how they felt as I was. He started the convo, I know I shouldn't have answered his questions, but still, he started it. It's his fault, bastard. I didn't tell him about Adam and I discussing this but Dan knows only because Dan's been my soundboard about it all. He knows Brian so he could be of some service in the situation. I so just want to talk to Brian about why me? Why am I so appealing to these guys all of a sudden? What have I done to improve myself so much that I'm the one who people want to date? Where did this new confidence come from? When did this happen to me? But with Brian, I can actually see a long term thing. I could see myself with him for the long haul basically. I saw that with Chad but I didn't with Jack or Adam. I hate being cool! Current Mood: confused Current Music: Evanescence - 'Whisper'

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April 7th, 2003

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April 1st, 2003

12:26 pm - There's too much reality...it's just a waste of time I guess I'll update then. Maybe I'll throw a quiz in too, I'm just in that mood today. Umm...yesterday, yeah, let's see. Went home after I wrote my last entry. Read one of my books, watched some tv, fell asleep for half an hour, got some dinner, Pam came home, went to a lecture on stem cell research/cloning/alternate fertility techniques, went home, talked to Mel, got Sheetz, went to bed to read, fell asleep. Today I got up, went to class, had lunch in Westover for a bit, meeting with advisor and now I'm here. Okay quiz time....hold on... You Would Most Likely Fuck: THE RUNNER OF FETISH EVENTS IN PHILLY. Wow.... you are really attracted to that one guy who runs Shock! Therapy with his big platforms and crazy wild hair. You could only imagine how the sex would be with this crazy individual, since they do run the fetish clubs.... More power to you! Who would you most likely fuck in the Philly goth scene? (This quiz is intended as a joke!, so no hard feelings!) brought to you by Quizilla You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss that never lessens and always blows your partner away like the first time. What kind of kiss are you? brought to you by Quizilla -Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're the kind of chick that can hang out with your boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't care about presents or about going to fancy placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy being around your boyfriend. What Kind of Girlfriend Are You? brought to you by Quizilla ANYTHING-GOES HENTAI (results contain pictures) Whats your HENTAI??? brought to you by Quizilla LARGE (results contain pictures) What kind of ANIME BOOBS do you have? brought to you by Quizilla Okay I think that'll do. Um...let's see. For the rest of the day I have lab till 4 or whenever, must have dinner sometime, write a paper for Vietnam class, read book for Vietnam class and possibly rewrite some biochem/organic notes. I really need to do that shit, that's for sure. I need some more juicy shit to talk about. Let's see. Strawberries. HEHEHEHEHE!! I made a joke!! HEHEHEHEHE!! WWWEEE!! Current Mood: silly Current Music: Assemblage 23 - 'Disappoint'

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March 31st, 2003

03:31 pm - Catch up... Okay let's see. I last posted Wednesday I believe. Oh boy, where can I start? Hm... Thursday: Class, work, and I can't really remember too much else after that. Oh yeah...Mel and I checked out three apartments and picked the one we want out. Then went to my Explore meeting, headed home with some dinner from Westover, did my PASS session and I was home to work and sleep. Friday: Class, get camping gear for night, lunch, work in lab, headed home, went with Mel to sign the lease for our apartment, packed up, then headed back to campus to get on my way. Found out our adviser wasn't joining us so we had to go someplace else to camp. That was fine. Then it basically rained off and on from the time we got there to about an hour before we left. Not much fun I would say. I think the combination of the rain and lack of sleep really made me not a happy camper hehe. Saturday: Got up, showered and dressed, packed up cars, repacked car, headed out with James and Adam. Got lost on the way home and ended up going a whole hour out of our way. So when I got back I was sort of ready for bed and sleep. Dropped off James, got lunch/breakfast with Adam, went home and showered. Tried to take a nap when the roommates came in to bother me. Decided they wanted to go bike riding. Okay, as long as I call it an early night, that was fine with me. We did that for 6 miles, it was kind of nice. Went to bed at midnight which was early for me. Sunday: Got up, had lunch with Pam in Westover, worked on 5-6 page paper that was due today, went to anime, headed home for evening. Ended up conversing with Pam till 1am and got up early to exercise too. Not a good combo. Monday: Got up, exercised, went to class, lunch, lab, now here. Going to head home and either take a nap or read some things that I need to get done for Wednesday. Whichever works for me. So that's about it. I've told the real details already to pretty much everybody so there. One day I shall write an interesting entry, I just don't really care right now. Sorry. WWEEE!!! Current Mood: uncomfortable Current Music: T.A.T.U. - 'All The Things She Said'

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March 26th, 2003

04:05 pm - Headache....damn bastards.... I know some people are a little upset considering I haven't written in a while so here goes. I've done some shit and that's all. Hehe....Joke!! Anyway, been hanging out with Adam, its all good. Taking care of classes and dealing with that b.s. Actually didn't have anything to do Monday night so spent the whole night with Adam watching a movie and talking. Tuesday was classes, lab, meeting, home for a while, typical. Today classes, lunch, headache, hang out with Adam and now I'm here. I don't feel like typing because headache is getting bad again. I know I'm not interesting to everybody since I haven't talked in fucking forever but I basically talk to everybody here minus a person or two in person so its all good I guess. WWWEEEE!!! Current Mood: sore Current Music: Noises from Hodges...damn Sim game

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03:55 pm - Boring survey....don't ask why I did it 1.What is your full name? Kristen Marie Pitner 2.What colour boxers/pants/knickers/thong do you have on right now? grey 3.What are u listening to right now? something Jon let me listen to 4.What was the last thing u ate? popcorn from Adam's mouth 5.If u were a crayon, what colour would u want to be? sky blue 6.Where do u want to go on your honeymoon? Hawaii or Australia 7.Who do u want to spend the rest of your life with? don't know 8.Do u have a lava lamp? no 9.How is the weather like right now? humid and about to pour and storm 10.Last person u talked to on the phone? Mel 11.First thing u notice about the opposite sex? butt and eyes 12.Do u like the person that sent u this? of course, good friend sometimes 14.What makes u happy? things 15.What's the next CD you're gonna get? Atomic Box 16.Hair colour? brown with some blonde undertone 17.Birth date? 11-8-82 18.Eye colour? blue 20.Have u ever won any special awards? plenty, don't want to say them all here now 21.Fave flower? tulips 22.Fave movie: Hackers 23.Fave day of the year: topless wednesdays *snicker* 24.Fave Holidays this year so far? halloween 27.Do u like to dance? love to, can't get enough of it sometimes 28.Are u shy to ask someone out? yep 29.What is the stupidest thing u have ever done? things ------------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------ Ever been so drunk you blacked out? nope Missed school because it was raining: nope Put a body part on fire for amusement: nope Been hurt emotionally: yep Wanted to hook up with a friend: yep and I did, ie. Adam Had a crush on a teacher/professor: yep Ever thought an animated character was hot? yep, come here Lyle and Arman hehe Cut your own hair: nope -----------------FAVOURITES------------------ Colors: blue, red, black Day/Night: night but i'm wide awake in the day Summer/Winter? winter, cooler Lace or satin: lace Favorite cartoon Characters: Zim, Gir, Daria, Joan of Arc Favorite Food: chicken parm sandwich, baked ziti Favorite Subject: not in high school anymore, can you people grow up!!?? Favorite 'normal' drink: water alcoholic drink: Seagram 7 with fruit punch, daiqs, vanilla coke and rum (not Bacardi please) Favorite Persons to talk to online: jon, rae, amy, pam, jodi --------------RIGHT NOW------------------ Wearing: blue jeans, "I'm naked" shirt, birkenstocks Talking to: Adam's roommate Hodges and Jon -----------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------ Like anyone? Adam and I like everybody else as a friend Who have u known the longest of your friends? John, Jodi, my sister What's the best feeling in the world? total feeling of oneness with everything Worst Feeling: waking up after a bad dream and knowing its going to come true Who will respond to this email the fastest: not sending it out, so doesn't matter Who sent this 2 you?: John Hows everyone doing? Jon and I are enjoying some metal music, Hodges is playing some Sim and everybody else can go fuck themselves minus Adam who was your first love? Chris who is the love of your life now? nobody Current Mood: horny Current Music: Arch Enemy - 'Shadows and Dust'

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March 19th, 2003

03:48 pm - Checklist to ignore.... So yesterday had lab and informed Smith of the happenings between Adam and myself. He tattale tailed to Reagan who proceeded to ask us about it. She said the funniest thing about it though. She said if she only heard our voices, never seen our faces, we were on some radio or tv show, she would think we were an old married couple anyway. So that was cute. Went home to work on a few things after dropping Adam off at Tate, lazy slug. Had dinner with Mel and went to do my PASS session. Found out that I have to do tomorrow's solo so I have to be ready to go and do everything that night. Oh boy... Got home again and finally had a night where Mel, Pam and myself were together in the same living room with time to talk about things in a long time. It was kind of cool. This morning, got up and went to Sumerlin's since Wittman's was cancelled. Got to take some notes and found out tomorrow night I don't have much to go over. Went to Smith's early since I wasn't walking with Adam, and got back my test. An 82 but it will be improved by 4 points or so I hope. But still its pretty bad for me. Then went to lunch and caught Adam on the way over. Got my kiss and hug of greeting for the day. Went to lunch, had fun as always, we got Rae laughing was good. Headed to Adam's to work on organic chemistry and yes we did do our homework, it is done. Went to a bullshit meeting with DeClair which took five minutes to actually answer my questions and I was out of there after some bs catching up. And then I proceeded to the lab which is where I'm at with a finished paper and nothing to do till 4. Oyi... So tonight will include Science Gang in 15 minutes, dinner with Adam to study some more for organic, class at 7, Sig Ep auction with Mel so that I can catch up with an old friend who will be there, and then I don't know what after that. Was thinking about the whole bowling thing but I don't think it will happen since its not free like always and I do have that test to take care of tomorrow morning. We'll see I guess. Then Thursday is test, work in the lab for a few hours, meeting with Jessica and then I'm home free for the weekend pretty much after that. Yay! I still have to go to the career center and such. And I have to do this course selection bs...ugh....I want free time damnit! WWEEEE!! Current Mood: restless Current Music: Bella Morte - 'Relics'

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March 18th, 2003

11:22 am - Vibrating Blue's Clues... Let's see when did I last update. Like Sunday afternoon I believe, okay, I'll from there. Went to anime and had fun with everybody. I even put on my headgear I got at TR with my hair up in two knots. We had fun making fun of this one movie we had to watch. It was over 2 hours and I just can't sit there and watch a 2 hour movie in the auditorium. I have to do it practically every Wednesday, that's enough for me. Then we caught some eps of Miyu. Rock on! Talked to people about me and Adam. Rae was really excited and happy about it. Of course Pam was busting on me and saying we should announce it to the whole club. That's alright, no need. Then helped out Adam to carry his comp to his room. That was a long haul, let me tell you. Went home at 11:30 *wink* and studied and went to bed. Got up Monday, went to classes, had lunch with the gang, then took my biochem test. I knew most of it but some parts were just me guessing most of the time. Then I headed over to Adam's because I wanted to waste a few hours before I had to watch a make-up film in the auditorium for Lipani's class. Ended up going to Walmart with him, Brian, Jackie and Dan. So I had to go to the 7 showing instead of the 4. That's okay. But I ate in the cafe for dinner *bleach* which is worse than lunch. Headed to the movie thing and watched that for two hours. More depressing thoughts to put into my head. Its horrible to watch these movies and documentaries because what if what happened then is going to happen again here. It's kind of scary to think about. Then I went home to work on my lab report for a few hours before crashing. Today got back another bad quiz in organic. I'm really losing it in there, I can't explain it. Like today we went over some pretty simple shit but then I think its simple and when I'm quizzed on it, I screw up. Can't explain it. So now I have to go to lunch in the East Room with these SACS interviewers for the college's reevaluation thing. I don't really want to and it caused me to have to take extra time this morning to do my hair and make-up and wear nice things. So I have to change before lab due to that fact. Damnit! I hate doing nice things for the college. They don't do nice things for me, you know? But tomorrow will be alright. I don't have to get up till 9:30 because my Fine Arts is cancelled due to the SACS. Then I have to go to Biochem, lunch, work, meeting with DeClair about senior project and hopefully he'll give me my shit for course selections. Then work on organic shit for test on Thursday with Adam and go to Vietnam class and be quizzed on a bunch of shit. I can't wait till Friday. Relaxing, nothing hectic to get done. It would be nice. I think Mel and I are going to go look at apartments soon, maybe this week. We need to pick out one by next week. Not much time for us I guess. I still have to finish out that application, damnit. Oh yeah, at Walmart, we were in the toys section and I found some Blue's Clues stuff of course. I picked up this Blue doll that was taken out of its box. Well with every doll you push some button somewhere and it does something. So I was holding it close to myself trying to hit the ears or something like that. Well I hit the button and it just *bbbbbrrrrrr* on my boobs and stomach. The damn thing vibrated and I jumped like three feet, it scared the hell out of me. It was hillarious and of course Adam and Dan were right there to witness it. They made me do it again to show Brian and Jackie. So now they do have a Blues Clues vibrator but its in disguise hehe *devilish grin* What else am I going to do? Have to talk to Desi and I'm going to drop off my bookbag with Smith so I don't have to carry it down there. That would be nice for my back, you know. I wish I could exercise, but I guess I should start stretching soon so that I get a little better. Oh well... WWWEEEE!!! Current Mood: loved Current Music: Idol Worship - 'On Your Knees'

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March 16th, 2003

02:08 pm - All the things she said *damn song in head...get out* Jeez...Its been a while. I've just been a lazy slug *damn you Adam, I'm saying his words* Anyway, lets see. Tuesday afternoon hung out with Adam and didn't really work on our lab like we were suppose to. Back was still killing me so I laid around and did nothing unless it was absolutely necessary. Did my PASS session, blah blah blah. Wednesday, test in Fine Arts then Biochem boredom with Smith. Went to lunch, Adam and Brian actually joined us for once, surprise surprise. Went home and actually laid on the couch for the whole afternoon so that my back would feel better. Didn't but thought it would help. Then got dinner and went to my Vietnam class. Lovely movie, Heaven & Earth, was watched. Pretty good but showed how big Tommy Lee Jones' head really is compared to a Vietnamese girl. Went to bed. Organic next morning with Smith and Adam. Took a quiz and screwed up on that one too. And I got back some bad grades, booo! Worked in the lab for a bit then Adam came by so we could finish our lab notebooks. We didn't really since Smith informs us that we didn't have to do certain things on it like all the results. So we went to Westover and found Jon, talked, ate, had fun laughing. Then walked across campus to my car but got stopped by Pam and Rae. Talked for a while along with Jon, then headed off again. Was about to go into my car when we decided to sit there and talk. Again another few hours spent of talking and hanging out. Jon came by and found how far we had gotten. He stuck around and talked. Then I drove back to my house with both of them to get stuff for my Explore meeting. Brought them back and went to that meeting. Headed home to do a few things with Mel along with dinner. Then went to my PASS session which ran a little late. Headed home to sleep eventually. Jeez...I hate doing this all in one week entries. Friday was class in the morning, lunch with most of anime to get some shit done, then work in the lab till 2:30ish. I had to finish an assignment and did that too. Then went home with Pam. Talked to Adam and Brian and decided to crash their Magic game with Jon. Then we all hung out and went to a movie that Adam invited us to see with him. The Hunted was definitely interesting but I don't think I'd see it again except for the cool survivor/tracker stuff they did in it. Then hung out for the night with Brian, Adam and Pam. Lost Brian to Jackie at some point and it was just the three of us. Adam ended up crashing here for the night. Didn't really sleep well and ended up being exhausted for the day. Did laundry with Pam, came home to nap. Adam came over and got me to come on campus to watch another few Magic games with other guys. Then headed home, made some baked ziti for Adam, Pam, Amy and myself. Got ready for TR and was on our way. But 10 minutes from C'ville I felt exhausted. So I had to have Amy drive us back. So danced a little, saw the band play and just felt myself slipping more into tiredness as the night continued on. So I basically told them that I was ready to leave. Had Amy drive us back and I actually was gone the whole trip. I don't usually sleep in the car anymore so I was definitely unusually tired. Amy got dropped off, I drove back to the house, went to bed and now I'm here. So today's agenda is study for Biochem test that's tomorrow. Maybe go to Organic PASS session but I doubt it. Anime at 5:30 and then back home to study some more. I'm ready for bed already, I still feel bad. Something is messed up only on the right side of my body because that's where all the pain is right now. It's weird. And the neck is killing me only because they played 'Blue Monday' by Orgy and I always have to headbang and dance to that song, I can't help it. So I'm just a wreck who is harming thyself for the past week. Was hoping I could start exercising again but that's out of the question right now. Damnit! I have more to say about certain things but I'm not going to elaborate on things. I think I'm just going to tell them in person to certain people and others will figure it out on their own most likely. Just good news to be shared I guess. Just ask me I guess. WWWEEEEE!!! Current Mood: happy Current Music: Vengaboys - 'Sex on the Beach'

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March 11th, 2003

11:26 am - Hurt...pain...ooowww... I think I pulled something in my back. I'm in pain from my butt down. I can't really walk without looking funny. I don't know how I did it either. And I have to walk around campus with Adam before we go back to my house. And then I have to work on things with him. I guess I'll have to tell him when he gets out of class what happened. I can't believe this, I actually pulled something and I'm almost done my exercise tape. Bastards!! *shaking fists in air* Anyway so Mel and I finished up last night and went to the library. Got two cds myself to listen to and she got a book for one of her classes. Then we headed to Sheetz and got a few things. Headed home and realized I hadn't really studied for my quiz in organic. So I studied some of that and went to bed. Still didn't sleep too much but oh well. So I went to class and sat down with everybody. Took the quiz which had stuff that I forgot to study. Then we had about 45 minutes of notes and we were out by 10:30. I was only in class for an hour and its my only class today. Total suckage because I have to waste the next 45 minutes before I can do anything. I should go take a walk and see how that feels but I don't want to pull anything more and strain it anymore. I'm going to have to if I want to work it out somewhat. Man, this sucks. All I was doing was sitting there in the lounge and *pinch* it hurt to move. And I can't massage it because it hurts in that area too much. I feel like I'm making it worse. This really sucks ass. Okay I'm going to go. Stop complaining, I know. WWEEE!! Current Mood: sore Current Music: The New Creatures - 'Clownhead'

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March 10th, 2003

08:53 pm - Warm head... Sitting here in the computer lab with Mel. We needed to check our mail since the fucking phone is on the blinks and we can't get on the net. Fucking A people!! Anyway, I arrived back here in the 'burg on Saturday afternoon, about 20 minutes after Mel. Found out she was on the road about a half an hour or so ahead of me and so we got to hang out for the night. Had fast food jap for din din..yumm... Anyway, bullshitted on Sunday and actually enjoyed the nice weather. Never realized how much I missed it the last few months. Then went to classes this morning to find out I didn't have to deal with lab. YAY!! And I don't have to deal with it tomorrow either so YAY!! again. I was extremely hyper today which was unusual for me lately. It's a combination of good weather and good friends I guess ::awww from the audience:: =o) I just love feeling this way, its make you all warm and giddy inside. So I have things to talk about but I know everybody's sick and tired of hearing me whine about certain things or try to reanalyze everything so yeah I'll save you from the torture. Maybe I'll do a private one for myself later just because. Terminal Ready's TOGA PARTY on Saturday!! I need to make myself a toga, this is going to be fun. I just need to make sure I save up enough money before then. Kind of scrapping for cash right now. I have like plenty of money at home but not enough here. Doesn't that just suck. Okay going to leave. Enough small talk. WWEEEE!!! Current Mood: hyper Current Music: Rob Zombie - 'Dragula'

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March 7th, 2003

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March 5th, 2003

01:52 pm - Night of the Living Dead... Ended up yesterday, Jodi needed someone to make sure she got back from Philly alright at 11pm. She had mentioned to me that Jeremy was going over Chris' to hang out for the night instead of picking her up. So I suggested to her that we could drive on over there and crash their little party. I go down and get her, then we switch cars and grabbed some food at Wendy's. Then we were off to Chris' which is pretty funny considering it was the first time we went without Jeremy in the back yelling out where to go to us. We did pretty good though without him, I'll have to admit. We were a little shaky in the beginning but we made it there. *Knock knock knock* "Hey, what are you doing here?" answers Chris as he opens the door. No Jeremy in sight. Alright, we sat down and talked, laughed, whatever. Started to watch Night of the Living Dead for a while. Somebody had made a good joke and we were laughing really loud when *knock knock knock* Jodi and I bum rush it to the bathroom and hide in the tub while Jeremy comes in wondering who was laughing. Then we surprised him out of the bathroom and the four of us just hung out for the night. It was fun. Chris put in The House of Haunted Hill, the older version, and we started watching that. Then Jeremy was being an ass and wanted to crash and we were sitting on his bed. Finally at about 3am, we said we were leaving and got out of there. But I still had fun. I love hanging with Chris, he's awesome. It's really interesting because when we talk, we sometimes accidentally say the same thing or make the same crack. I feel like I'm talking to my twin sometimes. Okay so that was last night. Nothing new since then. I crashed, got up, did my exercises, decided that I wanted to do Pilates now instead but can't until I have the money to buy it, and got a shower. I think I should start setting my alarm and making my body get up after only 8 hours of sleep instead of 10. I don't know if subconsciously I know that I don't have anything to do so I can sleep in or I just need it. Weird. WWWEEE!! Current Mood: drained Current Music: VNV Nation - 'Holding On'

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March 4th, 2003

05:40 pm - I'll call ya... Let's see. Haven't done much. Been talking to Ant and Jon. Corresponding in emails with a new person, interesting things to talk about with him. I'm bored out of my mind but Meesh is trying to keep me occupied. I keep waking up really late yet only going to bed at like 1am. I don't need 10 hours of sleep so why is my body doing that to me? Back at school I can sleep 7 hours and feel fine. Here I can't get enough of it. It's very interesting. Trying to get the family to feed me steak and beef but not working out as I want. I need meat and I'm sick of chicken and such. I shocked them Saturday night by eating shrimp and bell peppers. Just sick of eating the same shit and not experimenting I guess. Saw Chicago with the sis yesterday. Very good movie, wish I had seen the actual play now. Made plans with the mother and the sis to go to the Flower Show this week and sometime in the summer we are going to see Mama Mia since I haven't seen it yet and really want to. Don't know what else is going to happen for the week. I think I'm going to finally get my computer hooked up so I can play around with a few things. I need to download some things through this internet hook-up, its faster. Unless I go back to school early, then I can get on the net there without any hang ups since people won't arrive till Sunday or so. *shrugs* So what else to mention. *tapping finger on mouth* I'm on the fourth ep of Hellsing but I haven't had a chance to watch the rest yet. I keep having to do the family laundry (of course) and I want to read my books, since I don't have time at school to do that. Boy I'm talkative today. I still have to rummage through my bookbag and work on some things in that area. Keep avoiding it I guess. I still have time I guess. Blah...I'm boring, I know. But what can I do, you know? This neighborhood sucks, my best is still in school and working, my family works every day, they keep taking my car, and I just hate it here. Maybe I should call Mel and see if I can stay there but then again I can't since Thursday is already planned for me. I just have a few more days, that's all. I'm half way there I guess. HELP ME!!!!!! Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: some kind of Foo Fighters song

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March 1st, 2003

12:43 pm - Slave to my sign... Okay so I'm back home. But let's do a review of the last few days. Wednesday: Went home and crashed in the house till Mel got home. I actually purposely fell asleep on the couch so that in fifteen minutes Mel would either call or come in and wake me up. That way I didn't sleep a full hour and feel groggy from it. Smart me, I know. Had dinner and kept calling the school snow line to find out what was up. Then finally at 10:30, Mel tells me to shut off my alarm and Pam's because classes got cancelled. I was going to go to bed but I decided to stay up since I could sleep in the next morning anyway. Then at about 10:45, *knock knock knock knock knock* rapidly fires on my door. Its Adam, Brian and Robert. "Can you come out and play in the snow with us?" Mel comes over and we decide to join them. Spend about 15 minutes to throw warm clothes on and head out with them with our trash bags in hand. So went sledding, Mel left, then I headed over with the guys to the dorm. Now keep in mind, I've been living in a house for the last semester and a half. I forget about visitation hours in the dorms. So I went over there to watch a movie, we get kicked out of Brian's room since I'm a girl in a guy's room on a weekday night. Totally crossed my mind. So we headed down to the lounge to watch Wayne's World. That was fun considering poor Adam hadn't seen it before that night. So Brian and I basically walked him through it. He felt his mind shrink by the end of the night. And he even walked me home and was being totally dumb about things. I did a dumb thing by trying to kick a piece of ice on an already icey porch. I just went right up and came right back done on the cement porch. Just a little embarassed and I laughed my ass off at how dumb I was. Got to bed about 3am after talking with him for half an hour on my porch under the snow. Thursday: Got up with the girls. My ass didn't hurt thankfully. Rae came over and we hung out. Then Mel and I went out to get a few things because I had to get a feeder for the fish for the week and we had movies to return. We ended up getting more movies, but that's just us. Had a guy in the pet store tell me he liked my hair. Appreciated that one. Then we got the reptile guy to show me the green tree frog. It's so small and cute and I can't wait till I get my own. Then I saw a water dragon and I just fell in love with it. They are so cute. And there were tons of geckos and I just want them all. I love geckos so much too. I just love those reptiles hehe. Then we decided to grab some dinner and found the China Super Buffet which had sushi and a chinese buffet. It was good but not the best in the world. It was good for the money I guess. Then headed home and realized that I had a possible meeting at 5pm that I might have missed. So I called up Adam and asked him about it since he would have been there too. He checked his email for me and found out it was cancelled anyway. Then he asked about sledding that night and so I agreed despite the icey conditions out there. Then made up my study guide for my PASS students and talked to Ben. We decided to cancel our PASS session and give them a break. Well find out later on that classes were cancelled for Friday anyway. So I went out around 10pm and met up with the guys after I had an argument with my mother about when I could leave. Hung out with them, sledding, wrestling, snow fights, all that nonsense. I had a lot of fun. Brian suggested we do this again on another snow day. I'm up for it. Walked home with Adam and Robert, talked for half an hour again and then gave my goodbyes and went inside. Watched Rules of Attraction which was a little freaky but considering who helped out with it, I understand. Got to bed at 2am. Friday: Got up and exercised. Got a shower and ran out with Mel and Pam to do a few more things. Had to get applications for our apartment so now we just have to fill those out, pick the one we want and pay our down payment. We are almost set! YAY!! Got lunch and came home around noon to run around the house to get ready to leave. Mel left, then Pam with Rae, then I was left alone to run out like a chicken with its head cut off to actually get out of there. Took care of the fish, did all the nonsense stuff that is requested by the college, and headed out. So I got here about 7:30pm, felt really wiped out since my sleeping pattern has been off, and ate dinner with the family. Laid in my bed for awhile and I just crashed. Saturday: Got up and now I'm here. Possible shopping with Meesh for the day. Have to exercise, been bumming it lately with my routine. So that's about it so far. Seems I might have to go to work this week and help out with them. Meesh is going to redye my hair for me. It's really funny with three shades of blue in it. I'm going to go and be lazy some more. WWEEE!!! Current Mood: dorky Current Music: Patti Rothberg - 'Signs'

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