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November 30th, 2008

11:56 pm: you know where i live.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42G38fMfMu0

November 23rd, 2008

02:44 am: winters when she went down.
off her perch, pining for the fjords.
worst case scenario put a wire in my head.
didn't just bite that live wire, i been chewing
the salt off it. we don't go to the doctor, we walk it off
down here. but it's been awhile, and what did i do?
2 head shrinkers. the first lost his daughter, didn't
want to do nothing but drink and talk.
booze and death. not a good mix for me then.
the second, she was fun to start. she tended
to forget she was married. entirely.
had to threaten to sick lawyers and doctors and sober people
of all descriptions on her.
God and hippocrates says i got to just deal with it.
entropy and gravity, booze and just a bad memory gonna hang on her ankles.
all them and times gonna throw dirt on her.
it has got the point i will buy somebody a shovel.

bartendress, late and drunk and dangerous pretty.
her, i mean. the drunk part. and the late. and Lord.
i guess she's pretty too. it is just that the kissing
is something i do well.
i don't mean any harm. not the peremanent kind.
Jesus,Joseph, and Marys little sister.
nobody your age should be that good at it.
i mean, in the regular world, instinct will keep
you from drowning, but it won't teach you the backstroke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6C0gm-OqWso&feature=related

November 21st, 2008

02:15 am: lux music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOntCQqx5pY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH6CAjBCPgE&feature=related

November 15th, 2008

10:43 pm: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xg0QAc6kCKM&NR=1

November 8th, 2008

10:59 pm: innocent as the driven snow. (talking about nothing)
girl come by. not to take her ring off, or nothing.
just to eat good and snuggle up, and talk about this and maybe that.

roast a chicken. lemon and rosemary amd that good crackling butter skin. roast red skins and collards with smoked ham hocks.
crusty french bread and no room for salad or dessert.
hell, she was picking on the bird before it even cooled.

just full enough fits cold weather perfectly,
especially with champagne and open windows.

she covered us in a blanket, and made me read the greatest hits.
the last one. it is so rich and good,
i got to read it a sentence a time.
too much to take in all at once.


"Stolen Moments

What happened, happened once. So now it's best
in memory -- an orange he sliced: the skin
unbroken, then the knife, the chilled wedge
lifted to my mouth, his mouth, the thin
membrane between us, the exquisite orange,
tongue, orange, my nakedness and his,
the way he pushed me up against the fridge --
Now I get to feel his hands again, the kiss
that didn't last, but sent some neural twin
flashing wildly through the cortex. Love's
merciless, the way it travels in
and keeps emitting light. Beside the stove
we ate an orange. And there were purple flowers
on the table. And we still had hours.

Kim Addonzio"


"The Kiss

Anne Sexton

My mouth blooms like a cut.
I've been wronged all year, tedious
nights, nothing but rough elbows in them
and delicate boxes of Kleenex calling crybaby
crybaby , you fool!

Before today my body was useless.
Now it's tearing at its square corners.
It's tearing old Mary's garments off, knot by knot
and see -- Now it's shot full of these electric bolts.
Zing! A resurrection!

Once it was a boat, quite wooden
and with no business, no salt water under it
and in need of some paint. It was no more
than a group of boards. But you hoisted her, rigged her.
She's been elected.

My nerves are turned on. I hear them like
musical instruments. Where there was silence
the drums, the strings are incurably playing. You did this.
Pure genius at work. Darling, the composer has stepped
into fire."


"KISS
by Reginald Gibbons



This charm is green in the red world.
Low leaf that opens anyway
among dry shells, by a hard road.
In the chained world, this charm is free.
A private charm against good-byes
when you and I release each other --
this kiss we give, these orphan cries
we swallow, this turning to a feather.

I kiss your mouth, you kiss me back:
this charm's a statement and reply --
and a seed, a wedge, a way to take
some change into our work today.

This kiss is hidden in the border of night.
Leaf that is ours, love that is green,
give us all more life, more sweet
hours and days together again."


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BL0HVYHKxVE&feature=related



Lord. How can you not love her?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P7J1_hZ7iM&feature=related


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rp-xgWjHu90

October 26th, 2008

07:42 pm: I don't even own a watch.
I wonder if you can imagine the perfect temperature.
The kind that drives right down the centerline between hot and cold.
So perfect time stops.
And you run round the house throwing all the windows open, wide as they will go.
Trying to catch every bit. And when it starts blowing steady, the wind cools a little.
The edges rimed with Christmas, with magic, with the faintest promise of winter.
The grey clouds take a deep breath of evening blue.
All those old oaks have still got their voice now, leaves still cling, and whisper.
And you can sit there with your feet on the windowsill.
With a glass of something good and a book broke open in your lap.
Life is good tonight, tonight I can't see the end of it.
Tonight life is effortless.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdU57tlKKuE

07:04 pm: mark strand
http://whiskeyriver.blogspot.com/2008/10/from-long-sad-party-someone-was-saying.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NNfDVBPjRs

Wait for it (It's along walk to link these 2, but I done it).

October 23rd, 2008

12:44 am: i'd like to see how you'll blame me for that.
i didn't do nothing.
sitting there, minding my own. not talking to nobody.
and all you had to do was walk on by.
i knew you were there, i always do, but i didn't even look at you.

October 21st, 2008

10:53 pm: i believe her. (lux music)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMXqn42AykM

October 20th, 2008

10:35 pm: dante was scared of you.
what do you think, honey?
maybe you are more fun, of course you are.
like being pushed out of an airplane.
and we measure the distance.
experience reckons it, immediately.
this is exactly how much fun we can have.
there you are , gorgeous and inviting,
pure evil and mean to the bone.

i'd rather spend time eating ice cream with her,
than destroying a hotel room with you.

now ask me to write some thing else for you.

10:22 pm: 3. 3 licks to get to the center of the tootsie pop.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dO3s5XhtDmU

3 ex girlfriends sent this to me. "change the genders, and it is you theme song.
i know this has to be a compliment somewhere, but i am having trouble stretching it to fit.
give me a minute.

08:32 pm: i got this thing.
it idn't reading minds, exactly.
it's more paying attention.
there is a million girls in this round world.
all point a-ing to b.
there is some particularly brilliant colors
in that school of more fish in the sea.
i feel it sometimes, and step right back.
it just ain't none of my bidness, till it is my bidness.
sometimes you just can't help it, tho.
she's particularly brilliant, or will be.
and you know i drink sometimes.
girl tonight is just too young.
tiny and curvy and smart and pretty and big ol
eyes. limpid pools of where have you been all my life.
not me exactly, but somebody lucky.
every cell in her body is a tuning fork.
and he has got his name stamped right on the handle.
if you look real close it says "a@@&*($"

aw, i'll leave it lay. too much is the same in any language.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbJtYqBYCV8

October 19th, 2008

11:29 pm: she can flirt like a house on fire
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAVArfAFCFE&feature=related

October 16th, 2008

01:17 am: Cinderella

Anne Sexton

You always read about it:
the plumber with the twelve children
who wins the Irish Sweepstakes.
From toilets to riches.
That story.

Or the nursemaid,
some luscious sweet from Denmark
who captures the oldest son's heart.
from diapers to Dior.
That story.

Or a milkman who serves the wealthy,
eggs, cream, butter, yogurt, milk,
the white truck like an ambulance
who goes into real estate
and makes a pile.
From homogenized to martinis at lunch.

Or the charwoman
who is on the bus when it cracks up
and collects enough from the insurance.
From mops to Bonwit Teller.
That story.

Once
the wife of a rich man was on her deathbed
and she said to her daughter Cinderella:
Be devout. Be good. Then I will smile
down from heaven in the seam of a cloud.
The man took another wife who had
two daughters, pretty enough
but with hearts like blackjacks.
Cinderella was their maid.
She slept on the sooty hearth each night
and walked around looking like Al Jolson.
Her father brought presents home from town,
jewels and gowns for the other women
but the twig of a tree for Cinderella.
She planted that twig on her mother's grave
and it grew to a tree where a white dove sat.
Whenever she wished for anything the dove
would drop it like an egg upon the ground.
The bird is important, my dears, so heed him.

Next came the ball, as you all know.
It was a marriage market.
The prince was looking for a wife.
All but Cinderella were preparing
and gussying up for the event.
Cinderella begged to go too.
Her stepmother threw a dish of lentils
into the cinders and said: Pick them
up in an hour and you shall go.
The white dove brought all his friends;
all the warm wings of the fatherland came,
and picked up the lentils in a jiffy.
No, Cinderella, said the stepmother,
you have no clothes and cannot dance.
That's the way with stepmothers.

Cinderella went to the tree at the grave
and cried forth like a gospel singer:
Mama! Mama! My turtledove,
send me to the prince's ball!
The bird dropped down a golden dress
and delicate little slippers.
Rather a large package for a simple bird.
So she went. Which is no surprise.
Her stepmother and sisters didn't
recognize her without her cinder face
and the prince took her hand on the spot
and danced with no other the whole day.

As nightfall came she thought she'd better
get home. The prince walked her home
and she disappeared into the pigeon house
and although the prince took an axe and broke
it open she was gone. Back to her cinders.
These events repeated themselves for three days.
However on the third day the prince
covered the palace steps with cobbler's wax
and Cinderella's gold shoe stuck upon it.
Now he would find whom the shoe fit
and find his strange dancing girl for keeps.
He went to their house and the two sisters
were delighted because they had lovely feet.
The eldest went into a room to try the slipper on
but her big toe got in the way so she simply
sliced it off and put on the slipper.
The prince rode away with her until the white dove
told him to look at the blood pouring forth.
That is the way with amputations.
They just don't heal up like a wish.
The other sister cut off her heel
but the blood told as blood will.
The prince was getting tired.
He began to feel like a shoe salesman.
But he gave it one last try.
This time Cinderella fit into the shoe
like a love letter into its envelope.

At the wedding ceremony
the two sisters came to curry favor
and the white dove pecked their eyes out.
Two hollow spots were left
like soup spoons.

Cinderella and the prince
lived, they say, happily ever after,
like two dolls in a museum case
never bothered by diapers or dust,
never arguing over the timing of an egg,
never telling the same story twice,
never getting a middle-aged spread,
their darling smiles pasted on for eternity.
Regular Bobbsey Twins.
That story.

October 14th, 2008

11:25 pm: Maidenhair
Michael Field
(Katherine Bradley: 1846-1914,
Edith Cooper: 1862-1913)


Plato of the clear, dreaming eye and brave
Imaginings, conceived, withdrawn from light,
The hollow of man's heart even as a cave.
With century-slow dropping stalactite
My heart was a dripping tedious in despair.
But yesterday, awhile before I slept:
I wake to find it live with maidenhair
And mosses to the spiky pendants crept.
Great prodigies there are--Johovah's flood
Widening the margin of the Red Sea shore,--
Great marvel when the moon is turned to blood
It is to mortals, yet I marvel more
At the soft rifts, the pushings at my heart,
That lift the great stones of its rock apart.

October 8th, 2008

10:10 pm: Persephone is stealing from the buffet again.
There's a woman, you know there is.
she is sweet and pretty and funny and
isn't hardly married at all.
we don't see much of each other anymore,
but sometimes she calls.
sometimes her heart is dark as the inside of a cat.
and the good Lord knows i can scare up a candle.
(course
getting fire inside a cat is a struggle at best)

3 am hoarse, and the phone hisses like
rainfall. all that echo is regret running both ways.

October 7th, 2008

08:21 pm: porch talk
The Oral Tradition - Eavan Boland
I was standing there
at the end of a reading
or a workshop or whatever,
watching people heading
out into the weather,
only half-wondering
what becomes of words,
the brisk herbs of language,
the fragrances we think we sing,
if anything.
We were left behind
in a firelit room
in which the colour scheme
crouched well down -
golds, a sort of dun
a distressed ochre -
and the sole richness was
in the suggestion of a texture
like the low flax gleam
that comes off polished leather.
Two women
were standing in shadow,
one with her back turned.
Their talk was a gesture,
an outstretched hand.
They talked to each other
and words like 'summer'
'birth' 'great-grandmother'
kept pleading with me,
urging me to follow.
'She could feel it coming' -
one of them was saying -
'all the way there,
across the fields at evening
and no one there, God help her
'and she had on a skirt
of cross-woven linen
and the little one
kept pulling at it.
It was nearly night . . .'
(Wood hissed and split
in the open grate,
broke apart in sparks,
a windfall of light
in the room's darkness)
'. . . when she lay down
and gave birth to him
in an open meadow.
What a child that was
to be born without a blemish!'
It had started raining,
the windows dripping, misted.
One moment I was standing
not seeing out
only half-listening
staring at the night; the next
without warning
I was caught by it:
the bruised summer light,
the musical sub-text
of mauve caves on lilac
and the laburnum past
and shadow where the lime
free dropped its bracts
in frills of contrast
where she lay down
in vetch and linen
and lifted up her son
to the archive
they would shelter in:
the oral song
avid as superstition,
layered like an amber in
the wreck of language
and the remnants of a nation.
I was getting out
my coat, buttoning it,
shrugging up the collar.
It was bitter outside,
a real winter's night
and I had distances ahead of me: iron miles in trains, iron rails
repeating instances and reasons; the wheels singing innuendos, hints,
outlines underneath the surface, a sense suddenly of truth, its
resonance.

October 5th, 2008

09:00 pm: "APPEAL TO THE GRAMMARIANS


Paul Violi



We, the naturally hopefull,
Need a simple sign
For the myriad ways we're capsized.
We who love precise language
Need a finer way to convey
Disappointment and perplexity.
For speechlessness and all its inflections,
For up-ended expectaions,
For every time we are ambushed
By trivial or stupefying irony,
For pure incredulity, we need
The inverted exclamation point.
For the dropped smile, the limp handshake,
For whoever has just unwrapped a dumb gift
Or taken the first sip of a flat beer,
Or felt love or pond ice
Give way underfoot, we deserve it,
We need it for the air pocket, the scratch shot,
The child whose ball doesn't bounce back,
The flat tire at the journey's outset,
The odyssey that ends up in Weehawken.
But mainly because I need it- here and now
As I sit outside the Caffe Reggio
Staring at my expresso and cannoli
Ater this middle-aged couple
Came strolling by and he suddenly
Veered and sneezed all over my table
And she said to him, "See, that's why
I don't like to eat outside."

September 28th, 2008

01:08 am: the course of autism never did run true
boy called me the other night, in a panic.

he has been going out with a girl. 4 dates , he says,
and she kisses him goodnight and leaves him at the door.
so he's "convinced" her to come over, and he will feed her.
he wants to know what to cook. so what does she like?
"dunno". you don't know. "no."
really.
"no".
really.
"no."
well, there was more of this, but you get the idea.
i got to go po-lice on him.ok. you been out with her 4 times.
"yes"
did you feed her?
"yes"
what did you feed her?
"dunno"
sigh. where did you take her?
"we went to xxxxxx"
how was the service?
"good"
what did she order?
"dunno"
what did they bring you?
"well, they....oh,oh,oh eggplant! she had grilled eggplant!"
good. and the next?
"dunno" .....whered you go?
"xxxxxx"
did she eat with her hands?
"no, no...salad! she had saladZ!"
etc.
so, you notice any pattern?
"no sex"
no, i mean....never mind. she's a vegetarian.
"are you sure, she never said...?"
yes.
"how can..."
she hasn't ordered meat in 4 dates.
either she's a vegetarian, or she's screwing with you.
unsuccessfully, since you are as self-centered as a drowning man.
the good news, she's already decided whether she's gonna sleep with you.
just don't screw it up.
grilled portobellos, hopping john, lots of booze.
she's at your house, amazed with your perception,
don't give her a chance to change her mind.
tell her you like her, tell her why, and apologize for the stupid children you're going to have. you moron.

September 23rd, 2008

12:39 am: Most dogs like to sleep so much, you can't bear to tell em about 7 years.
"Before She Died


When I look at the sky now, I look at it for you.
As if with enough attention, I could take it in for you.

With all the leaves gone almost from
the trees, I did not walk briskly through the field.

Late today with my dog Wool, I lay down in the upper field,
he panting and aged, me looking at the blue. Leaning

on him, I wondered how finite these lustered days seem
to you, A stand of hemlock across the lake catches

my eye. It will take a long time to know how it is
for you. Like a dog's lifetime -- long -- multiplied by sevens."


Karen Chase


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj8oneHUjus&feature=related

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