|
Nyla |
||
|
Entries Friends Info Archive My Site |
||
| skip | ||
| Past 20 |
||
| Howdy | ||||||
| Aug. 26th, 2008 | 04:35 pm | ||||||
|
||||||
|
Be brave | |||||
![[mood icon]](http://piktures.deadjournal.com/mood/moonsis/stars/green/working_sg.gif){kind=small}
busy
| Edit | ||||||
| Sep. 24th, 2007 | 04:44 pm | ||||||
Peace |
||||||
|
Be brave | |||||
| Moving on up | ||||||
| Sep. 24th, 2007 | 04:25 pm | ||||||
We are moving into a new apartment on Saturday. It is a two bedroom - so Angel will get to have her own room and everything. It's slightly bigger than the one that we had in Cedar Rapids, and I'm super excited to get moved in! I just wish I could be doing that now, instead of waiting to start work. As soon as I get my first few paychecks - things will be going great! We will finally have some money to pay off all those things we've had to overlook for awhile. We'll also be able to get some fun stuff that we've wanted for awhile! I should get back to my online errands, just wanted to update, just incase there is still a reader out there! |
||||||
|
1 brave person - Be brave | |||||
![[mood icon]](http://piktures.deadjournal.com/mood/moonsis/stars/green/singing_sg.gif){kind=small}
cheerful| Life | ||||||
| Aug. 27th, 2007 | 11:27 pm | ||||||
Jason and I have moved to Newton. We've been here almost two months already. We're staying with Josiah, Shana and Sebastian right now. We plan to get our own place here in the next few weeks. We don't really have a choice, I guess. Josiah and Shana are planning to move into an apartment in Knoxville here soon. Go figure, move down here to be closer to family and family moves away. Jason's ex has also made a comment about moving. If that happens, I'll be pissed. Angel is 50% of the reason we moved down here. It's nice being this close to family (for now). I've gotten to see Sebastian grow up so much in just this last two months. And I get to see Echo a lot too. She's getting so big! Running around and already starting to talk a little bit. It's great being able to have Angel as often as we do now. She's gotten used to being with us and following our rules. It's not easy being and semi-step-mom, but it's growing on me. I currently don't have a job. I decided to start subbing around here until I get a full time teaching job. Of course, the subbing business doesn't pick up for another month or so. So, we're (barely) living off of Jason's income. He's got a great job though, and I'm so happy that he has something that he can see himself doing for a long time. It's nice that we are so close to Jason's family too. We've gotten to spend a lot of time with Momma, DeDe and Justin. I'm going to help Justin continue his education after he graduates. He has a lot of potential, he just needs a push! Things are good between Jason and I. We are so close now. We got to spend a lot of time together before he started working. It was strange to have so much time together, we really hadn't had that chance before. I tell you, being broke does wonders to a realationship. I guess it could ruin them too, but our relationship has grown so much because we have no money. We looked into getting a house here in Newton, but that plan is going to be put on hold until we can figure some things out about Jason's credit and clean my credit up a little more. Looks like we'll be renting some crap-ass apartment for the time being. That's really all my life has to offer for right now. I'm thinking about picking up a part-time job until the subbing kicks in, but there really isn't anything worth it out there. I guess there's always Wal-Mart...ick! I might be updating more...maybe...I'll be using the library's computers, but it might happen when I'm bored. Peace out! |
||||||
|
Be brave | |||||
![[mood icon]](http://piktures.deadjournal.com/mood/moonsis/stars/green/sad_sg.gif){kind=small}
depressed| Update so it won't delete... | ||||||
| Jan. 27th, 2007 | 03:09 pm | ||||||
I'm still just working and working some more...every once in awhile I get out and do something fun, but for the most part it's just day to day small adventures that keep me going outside of work. That's about all that I have to say right now...sorry, I've gotten lame. :) |
||||||
|
2 brave people - Be brave | |||||
![[mood icon]](http://piktures.deadjournal.com/mood/moonsis/stars/green/mellow_sg.gif){kind=small}
calm| Nov. 23rd, 2006 | 09:49 pm | ||||||
Target has been sucking it up lately because of the whole seasonal thing. They changed where I am working, I'm in grocery instead of toys...which made me (and boy) pretty angry. We've managed to raise a little hell about it and get both bosses to say that they messed up and say that they're sorry. Score, right. Other than work, I haven't had a whole lot of free time. I've been working on the weekends, because of seasonal, but I think that's going to change soon. I changed my availability. The holidays are going to be strange. I'm spending Thanksgiving night alone, because boy is working. Tomorrow, I'm cooking a turkey for the first time ever...wish me luck... We couldn't make it to our families because of work...but we might have time around Christmas that we can visit with them... Anyway...that's about all in my life...nothing too exciting...but that's how my life is... I'm very happy right now...I don't think that I've ever been so happy to just be around someone...it's strange, a eight hour shift away from him seems like a week...I love being around him and I count the minutes until the next time I can see him...I guess that's love... I'm going to find something semi-productive to do. Peace. |
||||||
|
Be brave | |||||
![[mood icon]](http://piktures.deadjournal.com/mood/moonsis/stars/green/happy_sg.gif){kind=small}
happy| Monthly Check in | ||||||
| Nov. 19th, 2006 | 03:58 pm | ||||||
|
So, it's been a month, I thought I would update... I went to Atlanta for the daycare...and I had a lot of fun. I enjoyed the conference and the down time was pretty good as well. I missed my boy so much. It amazed me how much I missed being home with him...I've never really been home sick before... When I got home, he showed me how much he missed me...he got me lots of goodies and stuff...he's so sweet! Anyway...life is pretty good...both my jobs have been driving me crazy lately. Target sucks my ass...they moved me out of toys and into grocery for season...which totally sucks because I was looking forward to spending the seasonal time with my boy...but no...I get stuck clear across the store...sucks.... The daycare hasn't been too bad...just had to change my hours on a couple of my days... Anyway...I'm going to take a nap before work... Peace |
||||||
|
Be brave | |||||
| It's been a long time... | ||||||
| Oct. 16th, 2006 | 11:21 pm | ||||||
|
Sorry for the lack of updating...I warned you! Things have been so crazy busy in my life right now...I miss typing up my days, but I know that even if I wanted to update all the time, I wouldn't have a whole lot of time. I'm hardly ever at home...Mondays and Thursdays are about the only time you'll really catch me there...every once in awhile we spend some time here on the weekend... I'm having so much fun and I am so happy right now! I love where my life is right now. I just wish that I could get healthy. It seems like there is just one illness after another...but at least I have someone to help take care of me...I just wish he didn't have too...I'm sure he's had enough of taking care of people in his life. I also wish that I could see my friends more...it seems like everyone is at that point in their lives where they are working so hard to get ahead, that we don't have a lot of time for each other anymore....it's sad when you grow up... I am going to head to bed now...even though I slept most of the day...once again, I was sick from work...this has to stop...maybe if I got more sleep, I would be ok...I actually think that my body is getting used to this way of life...hopefully I'll regain my immune system...cause I seriously think it's gone down... Anyway...enjoy the snippet into my life...give me a call if you want more details... Peace |
||||||
|
1 brave person - Be brave | |||||
| Update | ||||||
| Oct. 2nd, 2006 | 06:32 am | ||||||
|
I'm currently updating in order to save the journal from getting deleted. Thank you Adam for calling my attention to it.... Uh...things are going great...my life is mostly wonderful...small medical hell currently...but I have the perfect person to be with through it all....anyway...gotta get going to work. Peace. |
||||||
|
1 brave person - Be brave | |||||
| Happy | ||||||
| Aug. 16th, 2006 | 03:13 pm | ||||||
I got to visit with my family this weekend. I finally got to met Echo...she is beautiful. It's kinda creepy how much she looks like JC, but she is just amazing. Sebastian turned one over the weekend. Can you belive that? He had a pretty good time at this party, even though he threw a fit at present time. It was good to see my family. I had a lot of fun with them. We decided to go out to a small town bar, outside of Newton, Saturday night. I haven't partied with my brothers for a long time...I forgot what it's like. I had a blast. I sucked at pool, of course, but I had so much fun just hang out, meeting new people, dancing and drinking. My brothers and their girls had a good time too! In fact, they can't wait until we come back to do it again....which might happen sooner than later. Right now, I'm wasting time before work. I work up a little earlier than usual...couldn't really sleep that well...but I'm going to call someone up real quick and then maybe catch a nap...who knows... Peace |
||||||
|
4 brave people - Be brave | |||||
| Follower... | ||||||
| Jul. 9th, 2006 | 06:38 am | ||||||
Find me on MySpace and be my friend! |
||||||
|
1 brave person - Be brave | |||||
![[mood icon]](http://piktures.deadjournal.com/mood/moonsis/stars/green/nerdy_sg.gif){kind=small}
geeky| Pictures | ||||||
| May. 27th, 2006 | 11:47 pm | ||||||
|
I just realized that you can share pictures on Facebook.... Check out the birthday celebration from last weekend. Ok, I don't know why I did that...Jessi and Joni will be able to see it on Facebook...I guess Larisah hasn't seen them yet and she sometimes stalks me. Enjoy, Roo. |
||||||
|
1 brave person - Be brave | |||||
| And...we're ok... | ||||||
| May. 22nd, 2006 | 07:50 pm | ||||||
However, I have to admit that there is some disappointment on my part...just because, I've never been this stupid about anything before and it turns out that I was just that...stupid. I've never questioned my feelings about a guy like this before and it turns out that I shouldn't have questioned at all. There is some confusion remaining though....it's like the end of the movie where there is the taste that there might be a sequel. He said something on the phone about not "beating it up" and I said "you're the one who didn't beat it up" and he said "but say that I had...and then things would have been even weirder..." It made me smile a little bit. At least I know that we'll still have that. And Jeff's girlfriend, Maggie, said that she was watching the news on Saturday night and saw a report about the Cedar Rapids nightlife. Maggie said that she saw Nick and I talking outside of Brick's...plain as day. Nick said "So, if Mandy (his wife) sees that and I end up getting divorced, I can sue, right". I think there are things worse than talking to a girl that she can divorce him for. So, working tomorrow might be interesting or it might not be. I'm actually more nervous about talking to Jason about it all...I'm not sure why... Good times... |
||||||
|
1 brave person - Be brave | |||||
![[mood icon]](http://piktures.deadjournal.com/mood/moonsis/stars/green/awake_sg.gif){kind=small}
okay| Oh what a night... | ||||||
| May. 20th, 2006 | 06:57 pm | ||||||
So, we went to Crosby's downtown. Like I said, I was pretty drunk before even getting there, so it wasn't even like I needed to be drinking more...but I did. While at Crosby's, we had some drinks and chit chatted some more. It was fun to have some people that I haven't recently hung out with come out with us. I missed Stacy so much and it was good to see her again. As well as Jessi K! Oh, how do I love you! I don't know how much I drank, or how long we were there, but it was a really good time! At some point we decided to head down to Brick's. So, we walked the few blocks over there. And apparently, somewhere in that walk, I grew some balls. I'm not sure how it started...but I told Nick everything. And it may not have been everything then, but by the end of the night...I think he now knows everything. And I really don't remember why....because I was TRASHED...but we stood outside of Brick's for a very long time, talking about things. I told him about the confusion over the CD and the dream and everything. Yay for liquid courage! So, finally, Jessi came out to see what we were doing and Nick went in to pee. Jessi and I talked about it for awhile and yes, I was close to tears about it. Not because I was really that emotional about everything, but because it felt so nice getting all of that out of my system. Well, we drank at Brick's a little more. I don't even think that I ordered anything, I just drank most of Nick's beer and a drink that Jessi abandoned. Well, after last call, Nick called Jeff up and he came to pick us up. Well, I don't know what happened because I was rather drunk, but I ended up leaving everyone downtown and just Nick and I were in the car. Apparently Jeff was a little annoyed. Ok, really annoyed. So, we went through McDonald's drive thru and then back to my apartment. Jeff asked Nick, "Are you staying or going" and Nick asked me what I wanted and I told him that I thought he should stay. So he did. Funny story, Adam had my apartment key so I couldn't get in. So, Nick scaled the patio wall and let me in and we hung out on my patio for awhile. It seemed like only a few minutes later when everyone got back to my apartment. I heard Sam leave and then I heard Stacy leave. We watched Jessi and Adam for awhile and talked about things some more. It was pretty cold last night and it got to the point where I was uncontrollably shivering so we came inside. We talked for awhile with Jessi and Adam and at some point decided to go talk some more in my room. So, we lay down and talk for an hour or so and then John calls and asks Nick if he needs a ride. Nick said that he wanted to pick up his car. I told him that I thought that we still needed to figure some things out. So he leaves and gets his car and comes back. What the fuck? So, when he gets back we go back to my room and close the door and talk some more. Basically we didn't figure too much out. Well, I think we did, but it's still going to be weird. And he's still confusing. In all actuality, he doesn't like me anymore than friend status. And I told him that I didn't think that I felt anything like that for him, but after certain things, I started to wonder. He told me that I was just being a girl about it and I agreed. But this is the first time that I've ever been such a girl about something like this. So, one of the most confusing parts of the night, happened about 6:30 this morning. After he said that he more or less loves me like a sister and cares about me in that sense, he says the most confusing thing ever. We decided to go to sleep and he says "Are you sure you want to sleep...you might be wasting the only time that I'm going to be in your bed." What is wrong with boys?! And they are always talking shit about girls and saying how they play mind games. Whatever. So, we slept for maybe an hour or so. He left for home around 9:30 this morning. When he left he asked if we were ok. I told him that I truly didn't know. Maybe we're ok...but I guess we'll find out Tuesday night at work. So, that could be the next time that I see him. I'm sure that they are going out tonight as well. I'm not sure wither they would call me after last night. And I'm not sure wither I want to call them after last night. However, I don't want to set alone on a Saturday night when I could be getting into more trouble. After the boy left, Jessi and Adam let me sleep for a little while and then pounced on me. We laid in bed and talked about what happened that night and why boys are stupid. They had a good time and they didn't seem too angry with me for ditching them downtown last night. Yay for birthdays, right! After they both left, I called Stacy to check in with her and then tried to calm my stomach with some Pepto and then got some more sleep. I woke up around 5:00pm and tried to clean up a little bit. My apartment doesn't look that bad. Wow there were a lot of beer bottles and cans! Anyway, I'm going to call some people and then decide what I'm going to do tonight. Peace. |
||||||
|
1 brave person - Be brave | |||||
![[mood icon]](http://piktures.deadjournal.com/mood/moonsis/stars/green/sleepy_sg.gif){kind=small}
tired| I am Taurus...hear me roar | ||||||
| May. 17th, 2006 | 06:42 pm | ||||||
|
I always take my time. I am good at really savoring and enjoying pleasures. I am truly peaceful deep inside. I am good at giving myself most everything I need. I can make money. I am patient. I'm good at enjoying the simple pleasures of life. Once I get going, I have incredible determination and never quit. If I want to build something in the world, I have the persistence to accomplish it. I enjoy having nice things. I do not need other people around to be happy. It is easy for me to give to myself. It is easy for me to give to others. I love money. I really love having money. It's good to have a big ______ (CD, book, movie, etc.) collection. I am very practical and realistic. When I eat a rich desert, I allow myself to fully enjoy every bit of it. I regularly allow myself a lot of time for rest and quiet. I think music is perhaps the most spiritual thing on the planet. I love being in a physical body. I allow myself to be "selfish" and indulge in things I enjoy. And because I'm on the cusp of Gemini: I'm good at not taking things too seriously. I enjoy learning about everything. I enjoy moving around a lot, and not staying home too much. I enjoy my freedom and independence. I don't take "spirituality" too seriously. I am not that attached to my beliefs and opinions. I eat candy. I don't get real caught up on needing people to be loyal to me. I do not have issues with commitment. If people were more like kids, the world would be a much better place. I am naturally witty. I communicate easily with others. I enjoy being the trickster. I am totally honest. I like to do a little bit of everything. I am very open-minded. I'll try anything once. I enjoy a good disagreement. It's fun to play the devil's advocate. My mind is one of my greatest assets. I don't judge people who are not honest I'm good at small talk. It's nice to do fun things that seem ultimately trivial and unimportant. |
||||||
|
Be brave | |||||
| More information about the boy... | ||||||
| May. 17th, 2006 | 06:56 am | ||||||
So, really, the first thing that I was questioned about, was Nick's phone call to Patty. Oh, that was funny. I forgot about that totally. Backstory: Patty has a crush on Nick...obviously. And Nick hates Patty...passionately! In fact, just the other night, he made her cry by yelling at her that he did not need her fucking help when setting a planogram. But, of course, she is bitching and bitching about this phone call. Well, it was three in the morning... But she kept asking and asking about it. She fucking annoys me! Well, I was informed by Jeff that nothing happened on Saturday between Nick and the old lady. Jeff said that it was Nick who called it off. Well, then to contradict what Jeff said, Jason told me that something did happen and that Jeff lied to me because Nick didn't want me to know...because he thought that I would be disappointed in him. Jason also told me that a bunch of things that Nick has told him over the past few weeks. Evidently, Jason is Nick's confidant. Jason said that Nick has been debating for some time now about wither or not he should leave/cheat on his wife. Jason, being the good guy that he is, told him not too. But then Nick asked him "If there was a girl that you really liked, and you were in my situation, what would you do." And being a guy, Jason said that he would go for it. And the old lady...I guess Nick has a thing for older women....ick. So, Jason said that Nick has been thinking about the old lady for some time now. Very strange. I asked Jason why Nick cared what I thought about the whole situation, and he said that Nick doesn't want me pissed off at him. Which, of course, confuses me more. Later in the night, Jason told me that they were once talking about the stereo-typical guy thing: out of all the girls we work with, who would you hook up with. Well, I inquired pretty deep into this one, because I wanted to know. Jason told me that they went through the list, but when Nick brought up me, Jason cut him off. Apparently, Jason is now my dad. He told Nick that he couldn't even mention me because if Nick hurt me, Jason would have to kill him. Just what I need, a dad at work! And, I maybe stupid...but I told Jason a little bit about my confusion. I told him about the CD and the state that that left me in. I also told him about how Saturday night ended and he said that Jeff told him that what I said to Nick at the end of the night was the main reason why he didn't want me to find out about anything happening. But then when I talked to the old lady, she said that nothing happened either. But, she could have been told to not tell me. I don't know. Jason told me not to mention any of this to Nick. He told me not to bring it up. I told him that the only way that I would not be able to bring it up, was if someone was there to stop me. Jason, who has never gone out with the boys, said that he might try to come over for my birthday. I also asked him to bring a boy for me. I told him that I really needed a boyfriend...cause I do. He said that he actually had a boy in mind for me. Which, if it clears with dad, he must be ok, right. Then Jason had to go home early because his daughter is sick in the hospital. But, hopefully, we can talk more tonight. I guess, Nick gets back from Vegas on Friday and Jeff said that he would probably be ready to party. Jeff also offered his house as a place to party that night. So, I'm thinking that my friends from out of town will be meeting up at my apartment then we can go downtown or something. And then, we will end the night at Jeff's. At least, that's what I'm thinking is going to happen. |
||||||
|
Be brave | |||||
![[mood icon]](http://piktures.deadjournal.com/mood/moonsis/stars/green/confused_sg.gif){kind=small}
confused| Other events in my life | ||||||
| May. 16th, 2006 | 08:23 pm | ||||||
|
I just realized that this damn obsession is taking the forefront in my life. So, I am going to update to mention the other things that happened this last weekend. I got to visit with some of my family this weekend. I was so happy to see Josiah, Shana and Sebastian. We had a lot of fun, just hanging out. They brought me some cupcakes for my birthday that spelled out "Happy B-Day Nyla." It might be the only cake that I get...I actually doubt that. Anyway, we got to do a little shopping and enjoyed some tasty meals together. I made breakfast casserole on Sunday morning. I would have been damn good if the sausage wasn't so strange. We also went to the Cancun here in Cedar Rapids for dinner on Sunday night and I was kinda disappointed. I am so in love with the other Cancun that the quality of food at this one left me wanting to go to Coralville. It was a great time with my family and I do love seeing them so much. Sebastian is getting so big and he is just so damn cute! I called in to the day care today. I was sick to my stomach all day yesterday and it didn't really get better this morning. When I woke up, I felt like crap! So I called in and slept about eight more hours. I woke up and I still haven't eaten much. I had a bowl of cereal, that's it. I packed my usual lunch for Target tonight, but the whole time, my stomach is churning. I have to go to Target tonight...I can't afford not to go to that job too. At least with Rockwell, I have sick time...well...not much now. I'm going to try to choke something else down before work, and then head out. Peace. |
||||||
|
Be brave | |||||
| Explanation | ||||||
| May. 14th, 2006 | 11:22 pm | ||||||
Let me explain why I was so confused about what happened last night...I did mention the big thing that Nick said to me that was cryptic, the whole "would it be better if I went home with you" line. But before that...he would say things here and there that can really fuck with someone's head. And some of this goes back to other events that have happened in the past couple months. One of the main things that messes with my mind is the CD that he made for me. I may or may not have mentioned this on here, the CD had a lot of love songs and when you get a personalized mixed CD from someone, especially a boy, you tend to read into the songs a little bit. For instance, a clip from one of the songs: Night after night, I hear myself say "Why can't this feeling just fade away?" There's no one like you; you speak to my heart It's such a shame we're worlds apart I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose But, sooner or later, I got to choose And, once again, I'm thinking about Taking the easy way out But, if I let you go I will never know What my life would be Holding you close to me Will I ever see You smiling back at me? How will I know If I let you go? Or maybe this line of a different song: So here we stand In our secret place With a sound of the crowd So far away And you take my hand And it feels like home We both understand It's where we belong I'll always look back As I walk away This memory Will last for eternity And all of our tears Will be lost in the rain When I've found my way Back to your arms again But until that day You know you are The queen of my heart And one of my personal favorite songs on there is a Cascada version of "Truly Madly Deeply." And we all know that "bathe with you in the sea/lay like this forever/all that you need will surely come" themed song. That whole CD thing got me started with this silly infatuation anyways. And another thing that got me going last night is Nick and I discussing an event that happened a few weeks ago. Something that he did NOT want to tell me. Jeff kept bringing it up one night when Nick and I were working in the same aisle. Everytime Jeff would bring it up, Nick would shut him up...he really didn't want me to know about it...whatever it was. Well, over time, I've put two and two together and it had something to do with a girl that may or may not have hooked up with Nick. When I asked him why he didn't want me to know...he got all embarrassed and said "I just...didn't want you to find out...that's all." And seriously, I know that I'm reading into these things way to much, but the littlest damn things are making me question him. Oh, and then I got all freaked out because he said something that totally threw me off. When he was getting in my car last night he referenced the last time he was in my backseat and found an earring that I had lost. But he said "are you missing any necklaces or anything...er...I mean earrings." It freaked me out because, and I believe that I mentioned this, in that dream, he gave me a necklace. This instilled fear in me that he has found this site and is reading it. If so, hi Nick, I think we need to talk. It's not that hard to find this journal by the way. If you google my name, one of the listings is a website of icons and shit. If you find the icon that I made, easy enough, just search for Nyla, you will see the sites that these icons have been featured on...and the one site that my icons have been featured on is this journal. Yes, it's that easy, if you are tech savvy. And since Nick once informed me that he has a degree in computers, I am assuming that he would be able to figure that out...if he was so bored that he was searching my name on the internet. You know what, Jessi (I'm saying this to you because you are the only one who is truly dedicated to this site anymore), I don't think that this really explained anything...it just helps getting it out of my head a little bit. Goodnight. |
||||||
|
1 brave person - Be brave | |||||
![[mood icon]](http://piktures.deadjournal.com/mood/moonsis/stars/green/pensive_sg.gif){kind=small}
contemplative| boys | ||||||
| May. 14th, 2006 | 05:11 am | ||||||
| Did I mention that boys are stupid...cause they are. | ||||||
|
Be brave | |||||
| confusion | ||||||
| May. 14th, 2006 | 05:07 am | ||||||
I'm still confused... |
||||||
|
Be brave | |||||