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Sunday, June 8th, 2008
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10:58 am - Rating my life at this current time.
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| Saturday, January 5th, 2008
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1:16 pm - Privatized
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Hey
Just wanted to let you know that I privatized the last blog. Only friends can see it. Ahem; like Ashley who might read the blog.
Anyway - sum up the last blog - i'm not feeling like I have friends.
<3
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| Friday, December 28th, 2007
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9:02 pm - I COULD NEVER forget the traditions...
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Here is the traditional yearly survey. Done every year since 04 or 05. Only this year.. I'm not going to post links to the previous years... Just look at it yourself. <3
The end of the year Survey, for 2007!
1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before? Graduated college. Became an adult!
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? probably not.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? yup; sister in law and my other sister in law will give birth in 08!
4. Did anyone close to you die? Nope... not that I know of
5. What countries did you visit? Just the U.S
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? marriage.
7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? july 11. may 5.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? graduating college. Becoming a teacher
9. What was your biggest failure? the temptations that were given to me that I gave in to.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? nope
11. What was the best thing you bought? hmm...MY CAR!!!!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? celebration? Jesus' of course!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and/or depressed? Jamie Lynn Spears!
14. Where did most of your money go? Bills, car payment...friveluous spending.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Having a boyfriend :) And 2008.
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2007? Bedowin Soundclash. You look wonderful tonight (eric claptin), souja boy.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder? I'm happier :) And I can say that with confidence!
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? more seeing of my friends!
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Less sinning..
20. How did you spend Christmas? Christmas Eve we went to my brother's (brian) house. We did the kids presents there. Then on Christmas day I went to Brian's (my boyfriend) mom's house. We had fun
22. Did you fall in love in 2007? yeah!!.
23. How many one-night stands? probably 1 night stands of making out. 1
24. What was your favorite TV program? Eh....The bachelor?
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? nope I still dislike the person that I said last time -- hahahahaha!
26. What was the best book you read this year? Bible, Princess Diaries, Way of the peaceful warrior, Atonement
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? bedouin Soundclash, colbie callit
28. What did you want and got? bracelet!!! Ipod, computer chair, shaver
29. What did you want and not get? I wanted more movies. victoria secret stuff.
30. What were the best movies you saw for the first time this year? Atonement, 27 Dresses (sneak preview baby), Hairspray, The Peaceful Warrior, the wedding date, Sweeny Todd, ... and I'm sure theres more.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were ya? I had cake with the family and went to chilli's with friends!
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? getting married! same as last years haha
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? classic, trendy, and comfortable. and now I will add PROFESSIONAL!
34. What kept you sane? God and family and boyfriend.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? eh I grew out of celebrity gossip, but if i Had to choose Kiera Knightley! (Again in 2007)
36. What political issue stirred you the most? stupid hillary clinton thinking about running for president- ew. AGAIN for 2007.
37. Who did you miss? my mom mom.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007: Life's hard. If you've been sheltered from life, then you have a hard one coming for ya .... I've been sheltered and I ahvent even been hit by it ALL yet... slowly but surely.
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| Sunday, August 5th, 2007
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3:01 pm - My Life Analyzed :)
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| Friday, July 20th, 2007
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7:05 pm - You've got so much love in you
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So; a long awaited blog.
Just to update the time.
I signed my contract with Little River today. Yay :) And I go to all that PREO stuff on Monday; then I do great beginnings in August. I can go into my classroom anytime after my fingerprints are cleared. So ie- like Beginning of August!
Another update :) I got myself a man. Ya- basically he's amazing. He tells me like every day how lucky he is to be with me, and how cute or beautiful I am. Seriously I never thought it would be as nice as it is :) I like having that relationship feel. We read the Bible together :) And we watch movies together :) He watches SYTYCD with me hehe. even though he doesnt like it. We've only been together for 2 weeks; and we've spent probably 13 out of 14 days together. Tonight is our first time we're not going to be seeing each other since I have to babysit. So sad- but we can do it :)
My life consists of: God, Summer Camp, Boyfriend, Family, and lack of sleep.
Hence the reason why I'm sick. I had a fever and earache and swollen throat due to my lack of sleep. Due to the boyfriend. But it's all good.
So thats the update. Maybe I'll post some theological post one day :) But not today!
<3 yous all
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| Sunday, July 8th, 2007
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10:21 pm - AHHHHH
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I was hoping this entry would be better then before- maybe talking about my Colorado trip or what not .. but I cant
BECAUSE EVERYONE I KNOW IS ENGAGED!!!!! ARGHH . IT DRIVES MY BANANAS!!!
That is all.
<3
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| Saturday, June 23rd, 2007
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11:49 pm
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I feel like I'm the only person left that is single. I hate it.
I go through these periods of sadness. I just only pray for God to get me through some of these times. It's hard when all of the Tru Blondes have boyfriends except me; theres a wedding just about every 2 weeks; the few guys I find interesting all of the suddent have girlfriends or are leaving; there is NOT EVEN a prospect for me out there.
I'm almost at the point where I think I'll never get married. And that coming from ME. UN-Believable... but it's how I feel.
And when I go through those periods of sadness sometimes I want to go back into the hole/the river I was drowning in. But I KNOW that is not the right choice for me. That my Prince is awaiting me as I am him.
Its funny how sometimes its a roller coaster of this not feeling lonely life....sigh...
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| Friday, June 15th, 2007
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10:37 pm - Best Friends
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I realized today; about being a best friend.
Not that I wasn't before; just what it truly means. By giving up yourself. Not being selfish; having the same goals, emotions. Genny and I are super close - Best friends. We do everything today, tell each other everything, no matter what storm may come; we're always there and we ALWAYS care for one another.
Today; I got a phone call from my best friend. She was upset. She needed to talk to me. And unfortunately; I wasn't able to pick up- I was on a field trip. I called her back and got her answering machine. So I left a message. We talked a little before her dance recital; nothing too in-depth because of the situation.
After her dance recital; I re-listened to her message to me. And could truly tell how confused and hurting she was. And in my car; I silently wept for her. I felt at that point in my life that I should pray for Genny, be there for her, offer her any advice and comfort her. As well as having God comfort her. I cried a little in my heart because she was hurting.
And because my best friend was hurt- I was too.
I think this is what it means to be a best friend. To struggle together, to cry together, to laugh together. Be connected almost as one (since thats a marriage-soul type thing). Connected to the point of completing each other in a friendship; supporting way.
To think; this idea of us being connected has been around for centuries. Look what I found...
What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. -- Aristotle
True that Aristotle.
I loveee you Gen.. Thanks for being my best friend through EVERYTHING in my life! I wouldn't have survived without you there!!
Lastly, I leave with this pretty awesome quote:
"Friends. A simple word isn't it? It's uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren't that, they're the people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They're the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, you are the one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You're tied together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life." -Kate Tierney
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| Thursday, June 14th, 2007
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10:23 pm - Feelin Like Job
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Last month I began reading Job. Status was talking about it being one of the "wisdom" literatures in the Bible. So I checked it out.
Here's my attempt to analyze and apply what I've been reading and such.
So; Job is a pretty awesome guy. Great follower of God. He has a family and a farm. God is pleased with him. Then the devil tests Job. He burns and kills everything that Job has.
Job worships God.
The devil is mad. So he then goes and tries to get Job to curse the name of God. He puts sores all over Job's body and make his life miserable- but not killing Job. His wife is just telling him "listen; it's not worth this suffering, curse God's name and die" ... but with even those temptations he doesn't. He says Trouble and suffering are not punishments for sin.
Job has some friends to sympathesize with him.
Then Job gives up. He curses the day he was born. He begins to say things like "why didn't I perish at birth"..His friends are telling him to think of all the times that God has instructed, strengthened and replenished you. He said that lions may roar- but they'll die. Just like evil will come; it will one day fall away. (Probably one of the most uplifting verses).
But, Job continues to be resentful. His friend tells him that he should lay his troubles at his feet. That troubles will come; but we should be secure in our faith in life.
Job is still in misery.
He says if he could weigh his troubles and mistery they'd weigh more than the sands on the earth. He continues to say his life is miserable. There's nothing to live. He complains. And questions God's forgiveness.
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And that is where I leave off in the story.
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Applying it to my life. I think I am my own Job and my own Job's 3 friends.
I feel like I've been tested so many times. And only a few times have I felt like I've passed them. Although; I have probably felt as miserable as Job in my life- I tend to not curse God. Of course; I don't praise him all the time in the storms either.
When my tests come...and I have completely ruined them. Know that I've failed the tests I beat myself up. But then; I remember how awesome God is. And that he is always there to lift me back up.
That is why I say I love the verse about how a lion always roar but it will die. How evil is always there but one day it will be no more. I believe that verse is absolute HOPE. It's just like Marvelous Light. Sin and death have no power!
I try so hard to have that communication with God daily; hourly; any moment in my life. It's hard. I mean- just stop and enjoy his every gift to us!
I've been running and riding my bike lately. Those are some great times to enjoy God and his creation. Although I feel so unfaithful to God sometimes; I know that God is right there holding onto my hand.
There is so much hope in God. And that is what we need to have! Faith.
In this book of Prayer Promises it says it perfectly in regards to my life:
"If your faith is being tested to the point of breaking, know that Your Savior is near. If you reach out to Him in faith; He will give you peace and heal your broken spirit."
"In the dark moments, help me to remember that You are always near and that You can overcome any challenge."
"Faith in faith is pointless. Faith in a living, active God moves mountains" Beth More.
All we have to do is BELIEVE.
<3
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| Monday, June 4th, 2007
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1:44 am - Summer Survey fun-ness... Havent done this in a while here..
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SUMMER SURVEY
Pool OR Jacuzzi : Pool during day. Hot tub at night.
ocean OR Pool : Pool!
Ice cream OR popsicles : Popsicles
Lemonade OR iced tea : Lemonade
Flip Flops OR tennis shoes : Flip flops
Fans OR Air conditioning : It’s Florida… I can’t think of a month when we don’t use the AC and especially not during the summer.
Sprinklers OR slip n slide : Slip n slide :)
Water Balloon fight OR Water gun fight : Water Balloon Fight!
YOUR FAVORITE SUMMER:
Food : grilling things- like hot dogs and hamburgers, strawberry and dip, veggies and dip.
Song : Hmm...Summer girls by LFO
Hang out : Wherever the friends are
Camp : Camp Kulaqua- Always WILL be the best in the whole world. Mooselions!!
Holiday : July 4th of course!!
Vacation : My trip to canada!!! OR to cali with Genny
LAST SUMMER:
Where did you go : to Canada :) and New Jersey
Who'd you hangout with everyday : Anna; and people I work with- Aww Arlene and all my 50 kindergartners!!
Did you do anything illegal : Nope- I'm a very LEGAL person
Did you go to a concert : Joshua Bartholomew's concert :) And probably some people down here in FL locally.
What was your best memory: Going and visiting Joshua..and my trip to Jersey was pretty much amazing. but not AS amazing as canada.
THIS SUMMER:
Where are you going : New Jersey, Tenneessee, New York
Who are you going with : NJ : Anna and maybe dad and Dorothy, TN: One of my littles- probably Stephannie, NY: Probably myself unless Gen will come with me.
GENERAL SUMMER:
Your best summer was : Can’t possibly pick one!
Your worst summer was : probably one in like 8th grade where I did nothing.
Why was it the worst : I did nothing.
Name six things you’re most looking forward to this summer :
1. Having a tan.
2. More Joshua Bartholomew and Family vacations:)
3. Starting 3rd grade teaching at the end of it
4. Potentially meeting a husband (Hey you never know and I always have to be positive)
5. Being with some awesome co-workers at summer camp (and our fun field trips)
6. NO more College Courses!!!!!!!
<3
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| Thursday, May 31st, 2007
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12:00 am - Her Minor Thing
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I rented a random movie today. I saw it and it was rather new. And it ended up being a really cute movie! The name: Her Minor Thing.
The movie is about a girl and her boyfriend; and he is a San Fran. TV reporter.. well he was talking non-chalantly to his coworkers when they were trying to signal to him that he was going on air...He didn't listen...so he ended up telling all of San Fran that his girlfriend was a virgin.
So in the process of this couple talking about things and arguing and having a lack of communication and issues and such... she meets a guy. She and this guy are friends; who have obvious attraction for one another. But don't act upon it because she believes that there is still something with her boyfriend.
So the guy asks his friend for girl advice, while her boyfriend asks his friend for advice.... All the while- they're asking advice about the same girl - to one another. But they don't know it.
So everyone finds out they know each other and they were all talking about the same people- and it gets complicated and then theres the end :). But I can't tell you the end.
But it was a really funny, cute movie. It was a major festival film. So it was very low-budgeted. I would recommend it to anyone.
It just goes to show what guys are really out there for "more" and what guys are wanting other things. And who would think that I would have to deal with those types of guys. But I do. And sometimes I fall into their traps and be lured into being interested in them. However; not anymore.
So if you have the chance go rent that movie! it's super cute!
<3
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| Tuesday, May 29th, 2007
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1:11 am - Summer Daze
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I can't believe summer is here and is here so fast!
I've already gotten sunburns and suntans! The bad thing about it - I can't wake up before 11 o clock. It's making me quite mad!
It's not like I HAVE something to do that I must be awake for...but I don't like to be a lazy bum and sleep all day. Tomorrow; I do have to wake up though. I have to call Little River about my position there next year. I really would just like to sign a contract with them and be done with it! No more - keep calling us back deals.
Memorial day was fun. We remembered all our family times together :)
I woke up; Family came over. We swam, played pool volleyball (which girls lost horribly :(). Had a little cookout; dessert and what nots. Towards the end we got the family pics out. Brian and Kenny took some home :) So saved me from lugging around their pics when I inherit them all :). It's sad how different perspectives we all have on our mother. Mine is the most positive. Brian won't even take a picture with her in it. But Danielle and I made him. Kenny is in denial; he'll look at her in photos and talk about her...and me; I'll stare at pictures and just imagine her without all her character flaws.
Anyway- After the family shindig.. Gen and I headed to Brads. Where people were partying it up :). Then some of us went outside to play some volleyball. in the dark courts. Then we ended up playing in the parking lot. Then went inside..where the Star Wars thing was happening. Oh boy.
I love my family so much :) I'm so glad we're so close. Mike asked who I was closer with..and I'm really close with each brother in different ways. But that's whats cool :).
Welp, I'm going to go read a book before I Hit the hay. Pray for my call tomorrow- that I get to go in and sign the paperwork!
<3
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| Wednesday, May 16th, 2007
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12:09 am - Standards Upgraded
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So I'm writing my standards and going to stand by them! I will not let myself fall into anymore guy traps where I'm yearning for their attention!
Here they go:
1) I will not go out with a man who hasn't asked me out first.
2) I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone.
3) I will not date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me.
4) I will not be with a man who's afraid to talk about our future.
5) I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me.
*Sigh* I can think of four guys that really just weren't that into me that I was waiting around for. One guy has a little redemption left (number two is hurting him right now)...however he only has til the end of the week to call me or he doesn't meet the standards!
<3
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| Wednesday, May 9th, 2007
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1:16 am - With mother's day rounding the corner.
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Isn't it funny how your parents and everything that happens affects who you are as an adult?
So many insecurities that I find in myself I find in the circumstances that I've gone through. My mother often lied to my father- and I was the scape goat. Yeah- weird right. I would be the child that she used to hide and cover her lies. I didn't even realize this until I was told last December. How nice; huh.
Or; what about not being able to open up to anyone about anything. I think growing up I never was asked to open up or talk. And sometimes my dad was so consumed with dealing with my mother and her problems, and providing for the family it never crossed his mind to. And my brothers hated me for being a spoiled brat. I always played with my imaginery friends growing up. Yeah - loser huh. I confided in myself and it wasn't normal for us to just open up about how we were feeling.
I just hope that I can bring my children up in a loving family- where we share everything. I know that my mother has taught me how NOT to be a mother. Everything she has done I want to do opposite.
About this time last year I wrote a letter to my mother telling her how I have forgiven her. I know she never asked for forgiveness- but rather I'm just giving it to her. Just as I have been forgiven. The letter at the time was just a way to release my emotions to her. I never sent the letter. I just reread it.
Really- how could anyone want to give up their family? She has no right to see any of her children again, grand children, have the privelage of being called "mother" or "grandmom", she lost everything. She could have easily written letters once in a while. But- no. She decided to drop off the face of the earth.
At the end of the letter I wrote "A mother loves at all times, spends time with her family, protects, cherishes, and most of all cares." Everything she hasn't been.
I hate how I don't remember anything about my childhood. Not in the truth. I was sheltered so much from all the hurt- because of my age. For the longest time I loved my mother still. I thought that she did no wrong. I wanted to invite her to my wedding one day and just be able to talk to her.
Now I realize that inviting her to anything involving MY family would be wrong. She is a mere stranger to me.
Whose to say that if I pass her while in Jersey I would recognize her?
Anyway- Due to teh fact that I am not a philosopher I am leaving you. I am tired. I have exhausted all words on my mother.
Happy Mother's Day to the mom's who are out there who do more than just have that title!!
<3
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| Saturday, May 5th, 2007
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12:13 am - Another Update...
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Wow... I really want to write in here :)
I graduate in about 14 hours. Psycho. I'm just glad I'm growing up. I'm becoming more independent..however it won't hit me until August- on the frst day at school.
You know whats funny....everyone who is graduating is stressing about a job for like soon... Me....I wouldn't even HAVE a job until August- no stressing lol. I mean- yes I have a job- but even if I didn't I wouldn't need to get one right away.. It's just how the teaching industry goes.
So- I watched The Break Up today. The end of it was very relatable to me. The way Brooke (Jennifer A) felt about pouring herself out and getting nothing in return- COMPLETELY ME. Seriously; I felt as if I have tried everything I could to make things work in my past relationships with nothing to get in return. And normally I'm not a I want in return person- but in a relationship it is VERY give and take. Not just take take take or give give give.
Maybe it's my personality but I am a very giving person. I truly am. And it took me about 5 people telling me that I was giving too much with nothing in return. I'm not selfish- I don't mind not getting anything back... but let me tell you- I realized HOW NICE it is TO get something back..
To feel appreciated and cared for is nice.
I am looking for that.. I KNOW how to make people happy- but I'm looking for someone who makes ME happy. Someone who wants to revolve their lives with mine. Someone who wants to get to know me- figure me out- and not figure me out and use it against me!
I really kind of enjoyed The Break Up - just because it was a look onto how I felt. The whole emotionally drained... wanting MORE from someone when they never showed it..
But just like her I'm ready to start looking once again!
<3
P.S. Did I tell you I graduate today :):):):):)
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| Friday, May 4th, 2007
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7:44 pm - 5 Finger Prayer
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Okay- while Myspace Stalking (btw I'm in love).... I found this reallllly awesome thing.... Seriously I wish I could talk to you about my love (its a girl I'm addicted to but the girl is someone specials sister- who I've never met haha) but really that would complicate things... so here it is...
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Five Finger Prayer
1. Your thumb is nearest you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a "sweet duty."
2. The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.
3. The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God's guidance.
4. The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger, as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.
5. And lastly comes our little finger - the smallest finger of all which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, "The least shall be the greatest among you." Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively
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| Friday, April 27th, 2007
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5:50 pm - A real woman
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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
So I am going to be a third grade teacher at Little River Elementary!! Wootie woo!!!
This makes me excited!!!
(as if you couldn't tell)
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| Monday, April 23rd, 2007
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1:05 pm - Vain
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Is it so bad for me to sometimes feel like I am extremely beautiful?
Is it vain to say to myself "Wow Kim, you are gorgeous"
Well if it is- call me vain. However; it's true!
<3
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| Saturday, March 31st, 2007
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11:08 pm - Realizations
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Wow... I don't know how.. but all of my friends seem to have a significant other. Every one is getting married, getting together, dating, meeting guys...
Except me.
It's horrible. I feel like poo. And I think I'm priming the most beautiful that I am. Like I know I am gorgeous when I walk out of the house.... how come I can't meet any guys.
Everything else in my life is falling into place; a career, no more college, great - UH-MAZING sorority opportunities..
If you look at my myspace pictures who WOULDNT want to date me. I seriously look beyond beautiful. I don't know what it is :(.
I think everytime I am around certain people I get depressed. Or certain people can make my day go from great to horrible- with just something they do.
Being around my Chi O sisters this morning- afternoon was amazing. I can't wait until I become alumni and can hang out with those group of girls more! They seem really close together for alums!
I want to get engaged. I want to have a candle pass. It's so freaken sucky that Jon doesnt want to go with me. All along I thought he would go. And all along I told my sisters "oh just wait- Jon is FINALLY going to go"... but no. And really I have no other choices to go with me. There's one guy but we kind of lost touch from high school to now and then he just myspaced me out of the blue...
I have the blues... the love blues :(
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| Wednesday, January 31st, 2007
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10:01 pm - Desire to write
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So, just on a whim I had a desire to write.
I have LOVED my internship so far. I feel right at home. With the school, my teacher, the children. God placed me on this earth to do this! My teacher is absolutely amazing. There is none like her. And her daughter works there. So we all meet up before or after school and chit chat and have a grand ole time :).
I haven't worked as much. So there's like no money. But my gracious father has been so generous to me. lol.. Seriously though, I only work 4 hours a week. That is nothing; it's kind of like oh my goodness.
I think I have officially decided on the grades that I want to teach; in priority.
My first-top choice would be second grade :) yay!
My second choice would be Kindergarten
Third choice would be third grade (although it slowly might become my second choice)
and lastly; I would really rather not take a first grade position lol.
Now it just depends on the schools that I will be applying to. Theres Sunrise, Bonneville, Little River and Durrance. The AP of LR. has already told me and my supervising teacher "oh yah, we can work something out when she graduates." veryyy nice :)
I love my class. They all ask me why I can't be their fourth grade teacher. And I'm like, "I'm sorry my degree only goes up to 3rd grade." haha. Some of them even pondered failing the FCAT to stay back for me. I was like no no don't do that. Just come visit me if I'm here. I think one of the little boys has a crush on me too. Or at least he did towards the beginning.
My 22nd is coming up. Oh goodness I'm old. I never thought about my age until now. But seriously, 22. Thats almost to 25..and really the only thing I have in order is my career. What happened to being married around 22-23. Well you can't do that without a prospect huh. :-\.
Thanks for letting me update- although I'm the only one that reads this.
Isn't it strange how when we grow up these things seem less likely to be useful to us :)
<3
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8.6
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6.5
9.2