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Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge! [05 Apr 2005|11:56am] [ mood | chipper ] I love that album and Gerard is just soo hot... Anyhow, here's a poem a wrote: Sweet Revenge Raw like the wind on weathered cheeks Your leather tongue did lash these ears Strong like the ocean's rage cast upon the rocks Did the back of your hand often find my face And lost in primal adoration, nae, lust impure Were hands so rough that tears would pour And lay waste to a body so bruised This corporeal cage to a broken spirit Were the orifices of the soul do lack such luster As life would grant to spark in child-like gleam? Cast down to the jagged spears of the earth Lay limp this fractured puppet before the master And dark do the velvet curtains fall Thy back is turned and he did walk away To leave the story of me to rot on the shore Until, with life's last breathes barely lingering A dark figure whom would be my savior arose To grant a kiss of life and blood Letting the immortal phoenix rise anew Full of hunger and the bitterness of a last memory Nurturing a new instinct Until we meet here and now Face to face for our last embrace Seduction's grasp to whisper a kiss upon your throat Taste the sweet revenge as the tables turn And I draw out your life and leave you limp upon the floor. ~Draxia 1 comment|post comment

Yeah, so... [16 Feb 2005|09:25pm] [ mood | amused ] Valentines sucks, nothing new. Can't even celebrate Singles Appreciation since you need to love yourself, bah. Anyhow... here's a poem! Oh, and I'm recovering from surgery like a dream. :D ~A Sound of Thunder~ The meek voice of a whispering heart Merely an echo of a greater thought A promise held in the palm of his hand And tears of crimson painting her soul Loose stitching failing in their dream The only memories worth reliving tarnished To be haunting in the darkness of her future The nights of stifled sobs against pillows Gentle as the rain on the window A storm to calm a raging and unsteady pulse With her ear against the bed She'll try to recall the feel of him beneath her The rise and fall of his breath With her ear against his chest Listening to the roar of thunder Of love in each beat of his heart Only to fall into despair in returning to the present Letting go of his hand and watching the false promise Shatter on the floor as fragile glass Seeing her own breaking in the fragments And turning a deaf ear to the noise which was once music ~Draxia, Lady O' The Lonely post comment

One more [06 Feb 2005|11:20pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] Just one more to read if you feel up to it :) HeartNGreenEyes - Keep writing your inspiring pieces, I bet they touch more people than you know. ~This Too Must Pass~ Of souls torn like leafy tissue in two Whipped away by the wind's foul words And beat upon the rocks of injustice Before being swept into a sea of turmoil A flower's kiss bestowed in faith With hope of reaching the promised land After trial and tribulation in a small scale unto us But no less as great Seeking settlement in the nuturing hands of a mother Planted within her breast for safety Until strength doth push a new blossom to the sky Like a heart left crying drops of crimson Weeping for all the sorrows of a neglected time Upon the ivory petals of innocence's rose Staining deep the passions of mortal angels Whom race in the name of God to embrace the world Kiss comfort into despairing cheeks Grant a healing faith to bloom anew Just as these things have found their peace As they have found their true home Though only after suffering wrongly in the purity Know that your pain will be nothing Compared to the paradise you shall find Thorn upon thorn And flame upon flame on every path Know that this, too, must pass. Ya know, sometimes I wonder what you all think of these... and just as extra info... these are ALL improv without further editing, posted after writing without my rereading. :) post comment

Long time... [06 Feb 2005|11:01pm] [ mood | contemplative ] Well, I had ACL surgery on the third of this month and all goes well so far. Long story as to how I tore that, but... we won't go there. I'm dying to go back to work and I miss spending time with my horses, which I can't do yet. I'll try to keep ya posted. For now, heres some more poetry. .Down A Darkened Hall. Tormented by the insomnia Sleepless delusions in the shadows Bare feet slap against the cold floor Ever chased by the creaking boards This hallway slanted that I walk Swaying side to side, unbalanced Blurred vision of a darkened tunnel Voices whispering of so much failure Muffled by the fluttering of wings My guardian angel sent to save? Redemption from worthlessness, no hope there Trapped in this wakeless dream Nae, nightmare of the untold I can stand no longer Still, followed by the echoes of some other being sXeFallenStarsXe: Finding no corners in which to hide Slamming shoulders against a comfortless wall Sinking down into the depths of hell While only falling to the floor Shaking hands to my face are held As vanity weeps salted tears Can no one rescue bitterness from herself? "Never more" would call this demon My very ailing to settle at my feet Should not the poet ressurect his dark desires any other way? My raven friend whom spares me from teh blade Why bring death when there is still so much to suffer, The darkened hallway has a great length left to walk To stumble and crawl I can hear the heart pounding in my chest Or beneath the floor? Sanity is all nearly lost But who is to say that your are sane and I am not? Perhaps your candle lit life is the illusion How I long to live in your imagination However, my keeper will not suffer these pleas I'll return, now, to my beloved black plague And pray you be spared my poison. ~Velvet Chains~ He promised not to make my cry Nor leave me lonely as the night Whispered words of comfort In trying to show me the light Held me despite the fearful trembling Made me cast away the knife "No more scaring for those lovely wrists, Its time to look forward to life." And with words of protection One last promise To bind our love in velvet chains ~How Far Must I go~ No creature is born innocent Either loved or hated Perhaps forgotten Locked away in a closet of the heart I've been searching for the key Let me out, won't you please? You gave me life and left me be To stand on crutchs of false strength To hide away every raw emotion How far must I go To make you see me? I've laid in quiet torment As you abused this broken soul Scar upon scar The physical least painful of all It was better while you were gone Now, everything is wrong And I let it all go by Without a word and tears only in the darkness How far must I go To make you love me? Feigned feelings for a worthless daughter You remind me often How I fail everyday And fall at your feet Never to be given a hand to rise My trust gone from humanity And from one I should have trusted most How far must I go To find myself whole again Without a father's love ~Toxic Dream~ Slip through the translucence of reality Dreaming awake and sleeping with eyes open Fear of the shadows on the wall Silhouettes laughing upon the moon Taste of blood upon the tongue In a half dead state Feel the concrete below my back Gun shots sing with the voice of a nightingale A lust for the corrupt Toxic to the mind and poison to the spirit Collapsing behind glass eyes Blank stares on a face dead to me The visions of deathly desire restrained Criminal injustice swallowed whole day by day And another mundane seeming creature caries on Lost somewhere in a toxic dream ~Sudden Escape~ Seering heartache from acid blood sXeFallenStarTears that sting as they flood You boxed me up with lock and chain Swore you'd make me feel your pain Bitterness kindles your hurtfull flame Claiming I'm the one to blame I'll become a modern Houdini Disappear oh so keenly Forget about my abused past And find a love thats sure to last Slip right away from this emotional rape Haste well used in my sudden escape post comment

Just a poem... [05 Jan 2005|09:12pm] [ mood | good ] ~Landslide of Love~ My cure for the ailment of life trials Rests in the depths of his eyes Pain vanishes with his touch Fighting off the bitter cold that once lingered On my frozen heart And though I ran from him From the overwhelming emotions From the fear His arms were always open In welcome of my return and as we reconnect I have begun to realize where I lost myself My heart had always been in his hands The thorns of this rose worn away By his landslide of love That blankets my soul ~fin~ post comment

My beloved NaNe [14 Nov 2004|06:29pm] [ mood | sympathetic ] I am so terribly sorry for your loss. God be with you. This poem is dedicated to NaNe and her mother. ~On Angel's Wings~ The pain has fled this body In golden light, I bathe On angel's wings, I'm watching With you I'll forever stay I know its hard to find comfort But trust I have not left My spirit will hold you closer Despite the tears you've wept For in each shattered droplet A memory will reflect The laughter, joy, and love A mother and daughter have kept So, fear not, my beloved child You're always in my heart Keep holding on, we'll meet again When, in time, you will depart So, grow old, my precious darling Bring tears of joy to my face I long to see the love we shared In your own daughter's embrace Where, on angel's wings- I will always be with you Watching with a mother's pride And seeing you through. ~Draxia, Lady o' Havok 1 comment|post comment

Poetry Returns... [11 Oct 2004|09:02pm] [ mood | predatory ] ~Moonless Night~ Florescent glow of street lamps Glossy against the black asphalt damp with heaven's tears The gentle echo of footfalls Fading like the promise that someone will be there Frosted breath will rise from beneath a shadowed hood The only sign of warmth from a love forsaken soul Dragging toes and hands deep in pockets Wandering the night alone A life reflected on the garbage lids As dark as the alleyways Cold as the snowflakes that began to filter down A black world of moonless bitterness slow in turning grey Onward the walk will carry me Along its lonely way Memories of him slowly becoming scars Forgotten, the words he would say Lead on o' silent sleeplessness I long to remember the emptiness Of a heart once broken The crunch beneath my boots will keep tempo with my sorrowed thoughts And I'll wander forever and a day But time heals all And the scars will fade I'll see the blanket of ivory sent to comfort the earth In the light of the stars, peace will find me Realization, that with each day I may start anew And find another love post comment

I return! [26 Sep 2004|04:51pm] [ mood | blank ] with quizzes... Shy Flirt What Kind of FLIRT are you? brought to you by Quizilla You have Black Wings! Your feathers are dark, raven black, which can also be spiny and scaly. No one really knows why your feathers are this dark, because you always conceal yourself with a bubble. A great sadness surrounds you, and you take it out on others and the world. In Spite of your beauty, your inside is twisted and dead, because you were hurt so badly that youre heart couldnt take it. Before, your wings were white, and slowly, when your life was changing, so was the color. You have no friends, because you cant let anyone get too close to you. Grief fills your heart, though anger blinds your eyes. What Color are your wings?(Mainly for Girls)Beautiful Pix! brought to you by Quizilla You're a werewolf. Werewolves where mutated people who would transform into wolf-like beings and would lose control of themselves. Often times when a little child would go out into fields in Europe, they would encounter a werewolf and be eaten. They had charatceristics of their human selves but where usually hairy with canine like teeth and strangely shaped heads when they transformed. They often had bad tempers and would lose control of their actions very easily. They were excelent hunters though. (If you cannot see the picture, go to my userpage and look near the bottom. There should be the picture and description for all the results) What Mystical Creature Are You? (Pictures) brought to you by Quizilla Goth What Kind of Goth Are You? brought to you by Quizilla You have an animal soul! Arent you lucky! You are very interactive with animals and can understand them even if you dont speak their tongue. The birds arent afraid of you, deer can eat out of your palm, and every dog will roll over for you. As an Animal Soul, you follow your instinct, sometimes making rash decisions, and not thinking properly. If you dont understand something, you reject and push it away, and can get very disastrous when angry. At the same time, youre a very kind person who can make people feel better, and are understanding and compassionate. One of the great things about you is that your rarely jealous, and know that you have to share and help other people if you want to survive this world. You are very loyal and optimistic, and can make it through the toughest times. What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures! brought to you by Quizilla Your a wind Dragon! Hey, you, the smartest dragon of the branch. You love reading and writing, but are quite shy. Your IQ is probably sky-high and your stories can win trophies. Your not very good in sports, or maybe you are, and just not inrested.. You are very wise, smart, and kind. What elemental dragon are you? brought to you by Quizilla Yay... I'll post some poetry later 1 comment|post comment

Turning dusty pages... [07 Jul 2004|11:48pm] Forgot about my journal again as I was swept up in the current of life and thrown into the rapids. Yeehaw... Anyhow, heres a new poem. ~Sing the Sorrow~ Laughing to tears No gleam in my eye Morbid humor I cut myself today Bleeding black, for you Left in the cold Steel grey eyes staring over the edge of a bridge Deathly kisses on paling skin A whisper of the rhythm we once danced to I'll reach out only to be pushed away Sink futher into my tormented world Wishing it could all be erased Save me? But I have nothing to redeem Poisoned hearts turned away Broken winged This fallen star dies in your arms tonight †.Draxia, Lady O' Havok.† post comment

New Stuff [09 Jun 2004|10:10pm] [ mood | tired ] ~Dragons Sing the Blues~ Petrified woodlands Sequoia clearings Talon marks and smoke billowing Slitted eyes with wisdom's luster Arcane knowledge Whispered in forgotten tongues This last sanctuary for a dying race within a long dead wood Walking trophies of hide, claw and fang Wings have forgotten how to soar Jaws that once loosed a mighty roar They sit in near silence Contemplative And in the dark hours A chorus will rise Dragons who sing the blues A song of mourning for the time of the ancients ~Pull Me Under~ A glimpse A gaze Still frame of the soul You swallowed me whole Pulled me in And wouldn't let go A look can play a devilish part And a kiss of passion will lose control sXeFallenStarsXe: Sultry whispers sXeFallenStarsXe: and seductive sway Teasing parts in this game we play Caress to a stroke And an embrace thats much more Pull me under We'll foget this world ~Silent Slumber~ Eyes wide shut Dreaming awake A glimpse in the night To show what's at stake A mind lost in its own depth Screaming out But with no sound Suffocating on whispers In my tears, drowned Blood stains my fingertips Claw marks on the coffin cover Tearing at the velvet sky That once had been my lover To bathe in the sun for a moment's recollection A memory in this nightmare I cannot wake from my silent slumber †.Draxia, Lady o' Havok.† By the way... I'm now a veterinary assistant at an equine clinic! hooray! :D 1 comment|post comment

Poem before bed [27 May 2004|11:52pm] [ mood | sleepy ] ~Tiresome Posturing~ My fingers are bloodied By the strings tied so tightly to them Jerked upon Forcing submission Joints creak and the paint upon my face wears thin Neglected by my puppeteer For so long, I have worn these wires Told they would make me soar I've only come to hit the ground harder each time I fall You laugh and bring me back to my knees These glass eyes are cracked, nearly shattered The luster gone from your once willing toy The mold must have been flawed I am not so truly yours This mental fatigue has brought things into perspective And with clenched fists I will remove your guiding sticks I have grown tired of your games Let us place these rods through your palms And play my game †.Draxia, Lady o' Havok† 1 comment|post comment

Tiredness! [25 May 2004|09:55pm] [ mood | tired ] Stay up until 5 in the AM is rarely a good idea, mind you... but last night was good. Got to talk to William and that was very cool! Now, I'm exhausted though from not getting any sleep.. oops? Well, here's a poem to pass the time. ~Jaded~ Ornate Beautiful in every way From flesh to soul Innocence Gentle and pure My own angel The whisper in my mind Life's sweet melody Atleast thats what you used to be Until I stepped passed your light Dared to gaze into the shadows Tempt the truer you The silk fell away Your crown shattered at upon the floor Lucifer, my deception of light I cried for your former self Return to me My words fell upon deaf ears You had elevated yourself Turned a calloused heart to me Picking up the shards of your self made rank Stabbing them into your skin as adornment Leaving me jaded in your own jaded eyes Lovely, no? ::shrug:: Off to bed now, have to be up uber early! Goodnight all and dream sweet! †.Draxia, Lady o' Havok.† 2 comments|post comment

Late from work.. crash! [15 May 2004|12:34am] [ mood | lonely ] Step in to read some relaxing poetry and I'm tagged just as I say hello.. my poor tired mind. Well, here ya go. ~Into The Everlasting Warmth of Your Smile~ I bask in your angelic pallor Rest in furled wings of ivory Caressed in spirit Kissed by your honeyed lyrics Gentled by your mind Your tiger, tamed. Were it not for the miles that spread us so far apart I'd be held in your security Taste sugar from your lips Reflect the love in your eyes If only for a twist of fate Split oceans for your passing Watch the dolphins leap the great expanse As you find your way to me When face to face we meet Into the everlasting, I will melt, with the warmth of your smile And there you have it. Btw.. Tee is doing fine! :D †Draxia, Lady O' Havok† Here's another I wrote shorlty after... been a while since I did angst. †Beyond Death† What lies do befall a mortal mind In this cruel folly of the godly kind To take and to give To die and to live Breathe one last breath Then be swept up by death A tragedy awaiting Memories abating Watch as they slide me Six feet below thee To see my own grave And to silently rave A whisper on the breeze I'll pass with bitter sweet ease To this place just beyond In my poems, written of so fond The future that isn't †Draxia, Lady O' I'm going to bed now† post comment

[14 May 2004|02:34pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | The Doors ] I feel so sleep deprived...I feel sick and all them other sucky things. Anyways... I have to work today...four thirty until about one or two am. I'm not looking forward to it, either. Money is good (so very good) but I just want to fall into my grave and sleep. I have to get up early tomorrow and babysit. I'll probablly fall asleep before them. *sigh* Eh...short post today. ¥Dez, Lady O' Sleep Deprivation¥ *smirk* post comment

In Need of Heavy Drugging [08 May 2004|08:08am] [ mood | depressed ] . Well... yesterday Beth and I went out for a nice relaxing ride which ended far from relaxing. I had dismounted so Tee could look at a donkey since he hasn't seen one in quite a while. Thats when chaos broke free. There was a downed barbed wire fence and Tee got his foot stuck on it. He freaked out, I got knocked to the ground and stuck in the fence myself. Tee was trying to rear up and get off the fence while I'm laying beneath him, so I quickly scramble out from under him unbeknownst of the wire dragging the flesh of my own leg. I calm Tee down and free his leg of the wire. I'm very thankful I don't panic because once we were free, my hands were quickly painted crimson from the blood pouring from the hole in Tee's foot. Its really a sickening feeling when your covered in the blood of the thing most precious to you. ::sigh:: Well, Beth went to get help via Holly(I need to buy her a rose) and I pulled Tee's leg up and folded all the joints to stem the bleeding after slipping my hair tie over his hoof and tightening it around his leg. Yay for wanting to be a vet because I have some semblance of an idea as to what to do. Blood stops. We walk to Holly's and meet up with Beth. Still no bleeding, I must have done a good thing. Holly calls the vet and Beth and I walk back to her house which was just down a 'block'. Thankfully this all happened close to her home, but not close enough to mine. So, I stand there soaking Tee's leg in cold water (he's eating grass like nothing happened, mind you) waiting for the vet to show up. Dr. Brown finally gets there, treats him.. and now on Monday Tee has to get a cast to keep the area immobile. Simply the location of the wound in the problem, otherwise it would be left alone to heal on its own. Thank God I have a job right now. On top of it all, I haven't been sleeping the last two weeks... dad's grumpy at me all the time... and now Dustin will be mad because I couldn't take his shift for him at work last night, but I told him I had an emergency. Does anyone care? ::shrug:: I feel like I'm going to pass out so I'll leave you now. Hope you all have far better days. †Draxia, Lady of Restless sleep and Depression† 2 comments|post comment

Just Another Poem... [06 May 2004|10:04pm] [ mood | tired ] ~Tumors In The Festering Glass~ There is a poison in the soul A creeping ailment to rot away the most sacred thoughts A pool of filth that I have betrayed myself with Tainted by choice Suffocating my own choking screams by keeping further from the cure The mind has become the carcass of intellect Peel away the flesh and find my flaws open for judgement I'd wipe away the glazed look to better let you see Growths upon an already weakened self Draw up the last sickened breaths I have failed in freeing myself Let me decay in the peace of my tormented self. †Draxia, Lady of Havok† 1 comment|post comment

A Day In The Life... [04 May 2004|08:41pm] [ mood | exhausted ] Been getting hot, yay. Washed my horse, he's so handsome. Had a lesson at driving the 'big truck' not because its a truck but because its manual. Easy stuff. Here's a poem. I'm exhausted. ~Under the Pale Moonlight~ I've cried the last few tears that would fall Salted and selfish, perhaps Worn hands raw building a wall around myself Was I keeping other out? Or myself in? I've been forgetting how to spread those ivory feathers Forgotten how to smile Though, I don't frown anymore either Emotions a waste except for the lingering bitterness Was I tired of caring? Or too tired to care? All I know is that I no longer feel Numb and cold So, it has come to this last plea to the stars The wind sighs in hope of ending the silence Finding its comfort only in the shadows My self poured out A sanguine kiss for the earth under the pale moonlight †Draxia, Lady of Havok† post comment

[29 Apr 2004|04:33pm] [ mood | bitchy ] [ music | SILENCE ] Today sucked...majorly. Everything is going down the tubes, and again my friends have deserted me. ((*ahem* if anyone has a problem with me BSing in here, let me know...but hey, that's what journals are for, no?)) My teachers are driving me nuts, as is my family. Ah, my family...not even going to get into that. I've been staying after school, working on that damn art project, but the paint is STILL chipping, so that sucks....but it keeps me away from home. Last night I got to meet a really cool person on the internet *ahem draxi* which brightened my moods somewhat. Has anyone here ever psychoanalysed someone? It's fun! Well, I'm off to wallow. :) Bye everybody. ¤Dez¤ post comment

Bouncing is not good. [26 Apr 2004|10:43pm] [ mood | hyper ] Today was a good day, which is starting to be unusual for me. My friends seemed their for me (of the few I have) and so it was good. I didn't talk to Draxi today :-( but I'll find her later. I'm hyper as heck right now but i dunno why. *sigh* There's not much to do, and I know I'm going to regret staying up late but that's okay cuz i can sleep in tomorrow...skool won't start till later cuz some people have to take the MEAPs. *insert laughing and pointing* But I, my friens, I get to sleep in 5 EXTRA HOURS. ¤Dez¤ 1 comment|post comment

Snowy Morning [25 Apr 2004|08:33am] [ mood | good ] [ music | Why Wait? - Rufio ] Brrrr.... its snowing.. again. Its almost May! Why can't it just be like normal weather and rain? The saying goes "April SHOWERS bring May flowers" Not April SNOWS. ::sigh:: I was going to go trail riding with a friend today. (considering it was 60! yesturday). Colorado weather is screwed up. Anyhow... I dropped a tray of bread yesturday at work, joy, but everyone is cool about because they still do it. Whew. Heh, so yeah... work is alright. I have to close with Dustin on Wednesday... that'll be fun. I owe him for getting the job in the first place, but no one else is going to be there, just him and I so its going to be great! Fun fun fun. Welp... ciao for now! †.Draxia, Lady of Havok.† (and lady of freezing at the moment...) Dez- When you have a bad day... remeber that Johnny loves you! ;D 1 comment|post comment

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