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Draxia

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Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge! [05 Apr 2005|11:56am]
[ mood | chipper ]

I love that album and Gerard is just soo hot... Anyhow, here's a poem a wrote:

Sweet Revenge

Raw like the wind on weathered cheeks
Your leather tongue did lash these ears
Strong like the ocean's rage cast upon the rocks
Did the back of your hand often find my face
And lost in primal adoration, nae, lust impure
Were hands so rough that tears would pour
And lay waste to a body so bruised
This corporeal cage to a broken spirit
Were the orifices of the soul do lack such luster
As life would grant to spark in child-like gleam?
Cast down to the jagged spears of the earth
Lay limp this fractured puppet before the master
And dark do the velvet curtains fall
Thy back is turned and he did walk away
To leave the story of me to rot on the shore
Until, with life's last breathes barely lingering
A dark figure whom would be my savior arose
To grant a kiss of life and blood
Letting the immortal phoenix rise anew
Full of hunger and the bitterness of a last memory
Nurturing a new instinct
Until we meet here and now
Face to face for our last embrace
Seduction's grasp to whisper a kiss upon your throat
Taste the sweet revenge as the tables turn
And I draw out your life and leave you limp upon the floor.


~Draxia
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Yeah, so... [16 Feb 2005|09:25pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Valentines sucks, nothing new. Can't even celebrate Singles Appreciation since you need to love yourself, bah. Anyhow... here's a poem! Oh, and I'm recovering from surgery like a dream. :D

~A Sound of Thunder~

The meek voice of a whispering heart
Merely an echo of a greater thought
A promise held in the palm of his hand
And tears of crimson painting her soul
Loose stitching failing in their dream
The only memories worth reliving tarnished
To be haunting in the darkness of her future
The nights of stifled sobs against pillows
Gentle as the rain on the window
A storm to calm a raging and unsteady pulse
With her ear against the bed
She'll try to recall the feel of him beneath her
The rise and fall of his breath
With her ear against his chest
Listening to the roar of thunder
Of love in each beat of his heart
Only to fall into despair in returning to the present
Letting go of his hand and watching the false promise
Shatter on the floor as fragile glass
Seeing her own breaking in the fragments
And turning a deaf ear to the noise which was once music

~Draxia, Lady O' The Lonely
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One more [06 Feb 2005|11:20pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Just one more to read if you feel up to it :)

HeartNGreenEyes - Keep writing your inspiring pieces, I bet they touch more people than you know.

~This Too Must Pass~

Of souls torn like leafy tissue in two
Whipped away by the wind's foul words
And beat upon the rocks of injustice
Before being swept into a sea of turmoil
A flower's kiss bestowed in faith
With hope of reaching the promised land
After trial and tribulation in a small scale unto us
But no less as great
Seeking settlement in the nuturing hands of a mother
Planted within her breast for safety
Until strength doth push a new blossom to the sky

Like a heart left crying drops of crimson
Weeping for all the sorrows of a neglected time
Upon the ivory petals of innocence's rose
Staining deep the passions of mortal angels
Whom race in the name of God to embrace the world
Kiss comfort into despairing cheeks
Grant a healing faith to bloom anew

Just as these things have found their peace
As they have found their true home
Though only after suffering wrongly in the purity
Know that your pain will be nothing
Compared to the paradise you shall find
Thorn upon thorn
And flame upon flame on every path
Know that this, too, must pass.


Ya know, sometimes I wonder what you all think of these... and just as extra info... these are ALL improv without further editing, posted after writing without my rereading. :)
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Long time... [06 Feb 2005|11:01pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Well, I had ACL surgery on the third of this month and all goes well so far. Long story as to how I tore that, but... we won't go there. I'm dying to go back to work and I miss spending time with my horses, which I can't do yet. I'll try to keep ya posted. For now, heres some more poetry.


.Down A Darkened Hall.

Tormented by the insomnia
Sleepless delusions in the shadows
Bare feet slap against the cold floor
Ever chased by the creaking boards
This hallway slanted that I walk
Swaying side to side, unbalanced
Blurred vision of a darkened tunnel
Voices whispering of so much failure
Muffled by the fluttering of wings
My guardian angel sent to save?
Redemption from worthlessness, no hope there
Trapped in this wakeless dream
Nae, nightmare of the untold
I can stand no longer
Still, followed by the echoes of some other being
sXeFallenStarsXe: Finding no corners in which to hide
Slamming shoulders against a comfortless wall
Sinking down into the depths of hell
While only falling to the floor
Shaking hands to my face are held
As vanity weeps salted tears
Can no one rescue bitterness from herself?
"Never more" would call this demon
My very ailing to settle at my feet
Should not the poet ressurect his dark desires any other way?
My raven friend whom spares me from teh blade
Why bring death when there is still so much to suffer,
The darkened hallway has a great length left to walk
To stumble and crawl
I can hear the heart pounding in my chest
Or beneath the floor?
Sanity is all nearly lost
But who is to say that your are sane and I am not?
Perhaps your candle lit life is the illusion
How I long to live in your imagination
However, my keeper will not suffer these pleas
I'll return, now, to my beloved black plague
And pray you be spared my poison.



~Velvet Chains~

He promised not to make my cry
Nor leave me lonely as the night
Whispered words of comfort
In trying to show me the light
Held me despite the fearful trembling
Made me cast away the knife
"No more scaring for those lovely wrists,
Its time to look forward to life."
And with words of protection
One last promise
To bind our love in velvet chains


~How Far Must I go~

No creature is born innocent
Either loved or hated
Perhaps forgotten
Locked away in a closet of the heart
I've been searching for the key
Let me out, won't you please?
You gave me life and left me be
To stand on crutchs of false strength
To hide away every raw emotion
How far must I go
To make you see me?
I've laid in quiet torment
As you abused this broken soul
Scar upon scar
The physical least painful of all
It was better while you were gone
Now, everything is wrong
And I let it all go by
Without a word and tears only in the darkness
How far must I go
To make you love me?
Feigned feelings for a worthless daughter
You remind me often
How I fail everyday
And fall at your feet
Never to be given a hand to rise
My trust gone from humanity
And from one I should have trusted most
How far must I go
To find myself whole again
Without a father's love


~Toxic Dream~

Slip through the translucence of reality
Dreaming awake and sleeping with eyes open
Fear of the shadows on the wall
Silhouettes laughing upon the moon
Taste of blood upon the tongue
In a half dead state
Feel the concrete below my back
Gun shots sing with the voice of a nightingale
A lust for the corrupt
Toxic to the mind and poison to the spirit
Collapsing behind glass eyes
Blank stares on a face dead to me
The visions of deathly desire restrained
Criminal injustice swallowed whole day by day
And another mundane seeming creature caries on
Lost somewhere in a toxic dream


~Sudden Escape~

Seering heartache from acid blood
sXeFallenStarTears that sting as they flood
You boxed me up with lock and chain
Swore you'd make me feel your pain
Bitterness kindles your hurtfull flame
Claiming I'm the one to blame
I'll become a modern Houdini
Disappear oh so keenly
Forget about my abused past
And find a love thats sure to last
Slip right away from this emotional rape
Haste well used in my sudden escape
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Just a poem... [05 Jan 2005|09:12pm]
[ mood | good ]

~Landslide of Love~

My cure for the ailment of life trials
Rests in the depths of his eyes
Pain vanishes with his touch
Fighting off the bitter cold that once lingered
On my frozen heart
And though I ran from him
From the overwhelming emotions
From the fear
His arms were always open
In welcome of my return
and as we reconnect
I have begun to realize where I lost myself
My heart had always been in his hands
The thorns of this rose worn away
By his landslide of love
That blankets my soul
~fin~

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My beloved NaNe [14 Nov 2004|06:29pm]
[ mood | sympathetic ]

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. God be with you.

This poem is dedicated to NaNe and her mother.

~On Angel's Wings~

The pain has fled this body
In golden light, I bathe
On angel's wings, I'm watching
With you I'll forever stay
I know its hard to find comfort
But trust I have not left
My spirit will hold you closer
Despite the tears you've wept
For in each shattered droplet
A memory will reflect
The laughter, joy, and love
A mother and daughter have kept
So, fear not, my beloved child
You're always in my heart
Keep holding on, we'll meet again
When, in time, you will depart
So, grow old, my precious darling
Bring tears of joy to my face
I long to see the love we shared
In your own daughter's embrace
Where, on angel's wings-
I will always be with you
Watching with a mother's pride
And seeing you through.


~Draxia, Lady o' Havok
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Poetry Returns... [11 Oct 2004|09:02pm]
[ mood | predatory ]

~Moonless Night~

Florescent glow of street lamps
Glossy against the black asphalt damp with heaven's tears
The gentle echo of footfalls
Fading like the promise that someone will be there
Frosted breath will rise from beneath a shadowed hood
The only sign of warmth from a love forsaken soul
Dragging toes and hands deep in pockets
Wandering the night alone
A life reflected on the garbage lids
As dark as the alleyways
Cold as the snowflakes that began to filter down
A black world of moonless bitterness slow in turning grey
Onward the walk will carry me
Along its lonely way
Memories of him slowly becoming scars
Forgotten, the words he would say
Lead on o' silent sleeplessness
I long to remember the emptiness
Of a heart once broken
The crunch beneath my boots will keep tempo with my sorrowed thoughts
And I'll wander forever and a day
But time heals all
And the scars will fade
I'll see the blanket of ivory sent to comfort the earth
In the light of the stars, peace will find me
Realization, that with each day
I may start anew
And find another love

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I return! [26 Sep 2004|04:51pm]
[ mood | blank ]

with quizzes...

shy flirt
Shy Flirt


What Kind of FLIRT are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


HASH(0x894b120)
You have Black Wings! Your feathers are dark, raven
black, which can also be spiny and scaly. No
one really knows why your feathers are this
dark, because you always conceal yourself with
a bubble. A great sadness surrounds you, and
you take it out on others and the world. In
Spite of your beauty, your inside is twisted
and dead, because you were hurt so badly that
youre heart couldnt take it. Before, your wings
were white, and slowly, when your life was
changing, so was the color. You have no
friends, because you cant let anyone get too
close to you. Grief fills your heart, though
anger blinds your eyes.


What Color are your wings?(Mainly for Girls)Beautiful Pix!
brought to you by Quizilla


ex w
You're a werewolf. Werewolves where mutated people
who would transform into wolf-like beings and
would lose control of themselves. Often times
when a little child would go out into fields in
Europe, they would encounter a werewolf and be
eaten. They had charatceristics of their human
selves but where usually hairy with canine like
teeth and strangely shaped heads when they
transformed. They often had bad tempers and
would lose control of their actions very
easily. They were excelent hunters though. (If
you cannot see the picture, go to my userpage
and look near the bottom. There should be the
picture and description for all the results)


What Mystical Creature Are You? (Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

Goth
Goth


What Kind of Goth Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


ANIMAL
You have an animal soul! Arent you lucky! You are
very interactive with animals and can
understand them even if you dont speak their
tongue. The birds arent afraid of you, deer can
eat out of your palm, and every dog will roll
over for you. As an Animal Soul, you follow
your instinct, sometimes making rash decisions,
and not thinking properly. If you dont
understand something, you reject and push it
away, and can get very disastrous when angry.
At the same time, youre a very kind person who
can make people feel better, and are
understanding and compassionate. One of the
great things about you is that your rarely
jealous, and know that you have to share and
help other people if you want to survive this
world. You are very loyal and optimistic, and
can make it through the toughest times.


What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla


Wind Dragons create tornadoes or Twisters at their fansy, but are very easily knocked over...
Your a wind Dragon! Hey, you, the smartest dragon
of the branch. You love reading and writing,
but are quite shy. Your IQ is probably sky-high
and your stories can win trophies. Your not
very good in sports, or maybe you are, and just
not inrested.. You are very wise, smart, and
kind.


What elemental dragon are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Yay... I'll post some poetry later

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Turning dusty pages... [07 Jul 2004|11:48pm]
Forgot about my journal again as I was swept up in the current of life and thrown into the rapids. Yeehaw... Anyhow, heres a new poem.

~Sing the Sorrow~

Laughing to tears
No gleam in my eye
Morbid humor
I cut myself today
Bleeding black, for you
Left in the cold
Steel grey eyes staring over the edge of a bridge
Deathly kisses on paling skin
A whisper of the rhythm we once danced to
I'll reach out only to be pushed away
Sink futher into my tormented world
Wishing it could all be erased
Save me?
But I have nothing to redeem
Poisoned hearts turned away
Broken winged
This fallen star dies in your arms tonight

†.Draxia, Lady O' Havok.†
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New Stuff [09 Jun 2004|10:10pm]
[ mood | tired ]

~Dragons Sing the Blues~

Petrified woodlands
Sequoia clearings
Talon marks and smoke billowing
Slitted eyes with wisdom's luster
Arcane knowledge
Whispered in forgotten tongues
This last sanctuary for a dying race
within a long dead wood
Walking trophies of hide, claw and fang
Wings have forgotten how to soar
Jaws that once loosed a mighty roar
They sit in near silence
Contemplative
And in the dark hours
A chorus will rise
Dragons who sing the blues
A song of mourning for the time of the ancients


~Pull Me Under~

A glimpse
A gaze
Still frame of the soul
You swallowed me whole
Pulled me in
And wouldn't let go
A look can play a devilish part
And a kiss of passion will lose control
sXeFallenStarsXe: Sultry whispers
sXeFallenStarsXe: and seductive sway
Teasing parts in this game we play
Caress to a stroke
And an embrace thats much more
Pull me under
We'll foget this world


~Silent Slumber~

Eyes wide shut
Dreaming awake
A glimpse in the night
To show what's at stake
A mind lost in its own depth
Screaming out
But with no sound
Suffocating on whispers
In my tears, drowned
Blood stains my fingertips
Claw marks on the coffin cover
Tearing at the velvet sky
That once had been my lover
To bathe in the sun for a moment's recollection
A memory in this nightmare
I cannot wake from my silent slumber

†.Draxia, Lady o' Havok.†


By the way... I'm now a veterinary assistant at an equine clinic! hooray! :D
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Poem before bed [27 May 2004|11:52pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

~Tiresome Posturing~

My fingers are bloodied
By the strings tied so tightly to them
Jerked upon
Forcing submission
Joints creak and the paint upon my face wears thin
Neglected by my puppeteer
For so long, I have worn these wires
Told they would make me soar
I've only come to hit the ground harder each time I fall
You laugh and bring me back to my knees
These glass eyes are cracked, nearly shattered
The luster gone from your once willing toy
The mold must have been flawed
I am not so truly yours
This mental fatigue has brought things into perspective
And with clenched fists
I will remove your guiding sticks
I have grown tired of your games
Let us place these rods through your palms
And play my game



†.Draxia, Lady o' Havok†
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Tiredness! [25 May 2004|09:55pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Stay up until 5 in the AM is rarely a good idea, mind you... but last night was good. Got to talk to William and that was very cool! Now, I'm exhausted though from not getting any sleep.. oops? Well, here's a poem to pass the time.

~Jaded~

Ornate
Beautiful in every way
From flesh to soul
Innocence
Gentle and pure
My own angel
The whisper in my mind
Life's sweet melody
Atleast thats what you used to be
Until I stepped passed your light
Dared to gaze into the shadows
Tempt the truer you
The silk fell away
Your crown shattered at upon the floor
Lucifer, my deception of light
I cried for your former self
Return to me
My words fell upon deaf ears
You had elevated yourself
Turned a calloused heart to me
Picking up the shards of your self made rank
Stabbing them into your skin as adornment
Leaving me jaded in your own jaded eyes


Lovely, no? ::shrug:: Off to bed now, have to be up uber early! Goodnight all and dream sweet!

†.Draxia, Lady o' Havok.†
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Late from work.. crash! [15 May 2004|12:34am]
[ mood | lonely ]

Step in to read some relaxing poetry and I'm tagged just as I say hello.. my poor tired mind. Well, here ya go.

~Into The Everlasting Warmth of Your Smile~

I bask in your angelic pallor
Rest in furled wings of ivory
Caressed in spirit
Kissed by your honeyed lyrics
Gentled by your mind
Your tiger, tamed.
Were it not for the miles that spread us so far apart
I'd be held in your security
Taste sugar from your lips
Reflect the love in your eyes
If only for a twist of fate
Split oceans for your passing
Watch the dolphins leap the great expanse
As you find your way to me
When face to face we meet
Into the everlasting, I will melt, with the warmth of your smile


And there you have it.

Btw.. Tee is doing fine! :D

†Draxia, Lady O' Havok†



Here's another I wrote shorlty after... been a while since I did angst.

†Beyond Death†

What lies do befall a mortal mind
In this cruel folly of the godly kind
To take and to give
To die and to live
Breathe one last breath
Then be swept up by death
A tragedy awaiting
Memories abating
Watch as they slide me
Six feet below thee
To see my own grave
And to silently rave
A whisper on the breeze
I'll pass with bitter sweet ease
To this place just beyond
In my poems, written of so fond
The future that isn't

†Draxia, Lady O' I'm going to bed now†
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[14 May 2004|02:34pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | The Doors ]

I feel so sleep deprived...I feel sick and all them other sucky things.

Anyways...

I have to work today...four thirty until about one or two am. I'm not looking forward to it, either. Money is good (so very good) but I just want to fall into my grave and sleep. I have to get up early tomorrow and babysit. I'll probablly fall asleep before them. *sigh*

Eh...short post today.

¥Dez, Lady O' Sleep Deprivation¥

*smirk*

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In Need of Heavy Drugging [08 May 2004|08:08am]
[ mood | depressed ]

.
Well... yesterday Beth and I went out for a nice relaxing ride which ended far from relaxing. I had dismounted so Tee could look at a donkey since he hasn't seen one in quite a while. Thats when chaos broke free. There was a downed barbed wire fence and Tee got his foot stuck on it. He freaked out, I got knocked to the ground and stuck in the fence myself. Tee was trying to rear up and get off the fence while I'm laying beneath him, so I quickly scramble out from under him unbeknownst of the wire dragging the flesh of my own leg. I calm Tee down and free his leg of the wire. I'm very thankful I don't panic because once we were free, my hands were quickly painted crimson from the blood pouring from the hole in Tee's foot. Its really a sickening feeling when your covered in the blood of the thing most precious to you. ::sigh:: Well, Beth went to get help via Holly(I need to buy her a rose) and I pulled Tee's leg up and folded all the joints to stem the bleeding after slipping my hair tie over his hoof and tightening it around his leg. Yay for wanting to be a vet because I have some semblance of an idea as to what to do. Blood stops. We walk to Holly's and meet up with Beth. Still no bleeding, I must have done a good thing. Holly calls the vet and Beth and I walk back to her house which was just down a 'block'. Thankfully this all happened close to her home, but not close enough to mine. So, I stand there soaking Tee's leg in cold water (he's eating grass like nothing happened, mind you) waiting for the vet to show up. Dr. Brown finally gets there, treats him.. and now on Monday Tee has to get a cast to keep the area immobile. Simply the location of the wound in the problem, otherwise it would be left alone to heal on its own. Thank God I have a job right now. On top of it all, I haven't been sleeping the last two weeks... dad's grumpy at me all the time... and now Dustin will be mad because I couldn't take his shift for him at work last night, but I told him I had an emergency. Does anyone care? ::shrug:: I feel like I'm going to pass out so I'll leave you now. Hope you all have far better days.

†Draxia, Lady of Restless sleep and Depression†
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Just Another Poem... [06 May 2004|10:04pm]
[ mood | tired ]

~Tumors In The Festering Glass~

There is a poison in the soul
A creeping ailment to rot away the most sacred thoughts
A pool of filth that I have betrayed myself with
Tainted by choice
Suffocating my own choking screams by keeping further from the cure
The mind has become the carcass of intellect
Peel away the flesh and find my flaws open for judgement
I'd wipe away the glazed look to better let you see
Growths upon an already weakened self
Draw up the last sickened breaths
I have failed in freeing myself
Let me decay in the peace of my tormented self.

†Draxia, Lady of Havok†
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A Day In The Life... [04 May 2004|08:41pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Been getting hot, yay. Washed my horse, he's so handsome. Had a lesson at driving the 'big truck' not because its a truck but because its manual. Easy stuff. Here's a poem. I'm exhausted.


~Under the Pale Moonlight~

I've cried the last few tears that would fall
Salted and selfish, perhaps
Worn hands raw building a wall around myself
Was I keeping other out?
Or myself in?
I've been forgetting how to spread those ivory feathers
Forgotten how to smile
Though, I don't frown anymore either
Emotions a waste except for the lingering bitterness
Was I tired of caring?
Or too tired to care?
All I know is that I no longer feel
Numb and cold
So, it has come to this last plea to the stars
The wind sighs in hope of ending the silence
Finding its comfort only in the shadows
My self poured out
A sanguine kiss for the earth under the pale moonlight

†Draxia, Lady of Havok†
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[29 Apr 2004|04:33pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]
[ music | SILENCE ]

Today sucked...majorly. Everything is going down the tubes, and again my friends have deserted me. ((*ahem* if anyone has a problem with me BSing in here, let me know...but hey, that's what journals are for, no?))
My teachers are driving me nuts, as is my family. Ah, my family...not even going to get into that.
I've been staying after school, working on that damn art project, but the paint is STILL chipping, so that sucks....but it keeps me away from home.
Last night I got to meet a really cool person on the internet *ahem draxi* which brightened my moods somewhat. Has anyone here ever psychoanalysed someone? It's fun!
Well, I'm off to wallow. :) Bye everybody.


¤Dez¤

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Bouncing is not good. [26 Apr 2004|10:43pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

Today was a good day, which is starting to be unusual for me. My friends seemed their for me (of the few I have) and so it was good. I didn't talk to Draxi today :-( but I'll find her later. I'm hyper as heck right now but i dunno why. *sigh* There's not much to do, and I know I'm going to regret staying up late but that's okay cuz i can sleep in tomorrow...skool won't start till later cuz some people have to take the MEAPs. *insert laughing and pointing* But I, my friens, I get to sleep in 5 EXTRA HOURS.

¤Dez¤

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Snowy Morning [25 Apr 2004|08:33am]
[ mood | good ]
[ music | Why Wait? - Rufio ]

Brrrr.... its snowing.. again. Its almost May! Why can't it just be like normal weather and rain? The saying goes "April SHOWERS bring May flowers" Not April SNOWS. ::sigh:: I was going to go trail riding with a friend today. (considering it was 60! yesturday). Colorado weather is screwed up.

Anyhow... I dropped a tray of bread yesturday at work, joy, but everyone is cool about because they still do it. Whew. Heh, so yeah... work is alright. I have to close with Dustin on Wednesday... that'll be fun. I owe him for getting the job in the first place, but no one else is going to be there, just him and I so its going to be great! Fun fun fun. Welp... ciao for now!

†.Draxia, Lady of Havok.†
(and lady of freezing at the moment...)


Dez- When you have a bad day... remeber that Johnny loves you! ;D
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