Saturday, February 26th, 2005
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10:21 am - hmm whoa
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hii.. lots of shit happend
i highly doubt anyone reads this
but bobbys living with me now and hes been living with me for 3 months now
and i love him :)
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(Bite Me)
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Wednesday, June 18th, 2003
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11:18 am - mmm.. wow ;\
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i havent wrote in this journal in soooo lonngggggg ;o its.. shocking ;o lol anyways me and bobby got back and we're still togther and im sick ;\ and im all weak and i cant type shit ;[ uh blah blah blah ill write later when i get better<3 byee<3
current mood:  sick
current music: some singer - if it makes u happy
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(Bite Me)
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Sunday, February 2nd, 2003
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6:20 am - mmm..
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mmmm....my bf broke up wit me =// the rest of the story is in my other journal
current mood:  lonely
current music: AFI - girls' not grey
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(1 Bite Bite Me)
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Saturday, February 1st, 2003
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3:26 am
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current mood:  blah
current music: afi - girls' not grey
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(Bite Me)
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Friday, January 31st, 2003
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3:11 am - lala...
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lala... this feels good.. letting things out.. larry.. im sorry but u make me feel shit sometimes. and its ok , u just got me pissed off.. but. theres no fucking way im going back to school.. i myself think i could change my life without school. its not going to stay the same way forever .. and for everyone who thinks my life is going to stay the same way because im a drop out , well fuck you fuckers. i could live my life in a happy way i could live my life the way i wanted to. and u fuckers dont fucking bring me down by going " oh u're just gonon be a deadbeat whos a piece of shit " well.. fuck you. u could kiss my fucking ass. eh.. thats waht i wanted to say.. leave comments if u want.. bye<3
current mood:  calm
current music: Jimmy Eat World - A Praise Chorus
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(Bite Me)
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Thursday, January 30th, 2003
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7:10 pm
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Nothing is perfect.
Just felt like sharing that.
current mood:  apathetic
current music: still breathing
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(2 Bites Bite Me)
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Wednesday, January 29th, 2003
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8:21 pm - Girls Not Grey
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Girl's Not Grey
I'll lay me down tonight much further down,
swim in the calm tonight. This art does drown.
What follows me as the whitest lace of light just begs to be imbrued?
What follows will swallow whole. What follows has lead me to this place where I belong,
with all erased.
All insects sing tonight, the coldest sound.
I'd send god's grace tonight, could it be found.
What follows me as the whitest lace of light just begs to be imbrued?
What follows will swallow whole. What follows has lead me to this place where I belong,
with all erased.
I'll lay me down tonight much further down...
watch stars go out tonight. On sinking ground
I'll lay me down.
What follows me as the whitest lace of light just begs to be imbrued?
What follows will swallow whole. What follows has lead me to this place where I belong,
with all erased.
What follows will swallow whole!
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(Bite Me)
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8:05 pm - Remember when we were all so beautifull?but snice we've lost our glow
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lala... god i feel like shit.. i just had a conv with my good friend.. i mean i told him all the bad shit in my life.. i mean it doesnt seem that bad but god i just want good things to happend in my life.. i feel like shit , i mean i keep on talking about shit about my friends and i keep on sending convs and i donon.. i feel stupid.. i mean this is part of the reason why i lost so many friends a ccouple years ago coz of my big month =/.. i told my mom i dont wan tot go and she just goes "*prays to god* please let her go to school" eh i hate it when she does that , sometimens when i sit here i feel wortlhess eh =/... i want to do things that i love to do , instead of just wasting my life here.. all i want to do is just live my life..
current mood:  depressed
current music: AFI- the boy who destroyed the world
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(Bite Me)
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Tuesday, January 28th, 2003
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8:48 pm - lala...
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lala.. im bored and stuff.. mm..i donno.. i feel ignored for some reason well i donno im gono go byee<3
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hung in your room, swaying, hoping only that you'll see.
all by myself, i'm alone in such poor company.
the deeper i think, the deeper i seem to sink.
i can't stop the insects that are feeding,
pull the needles from beneath my skin.
i broke myself, shattered, tied a bow around every piece.
you'll love the eyes. have they always shone so vacantly?
the more i show the less you'll want to know.
i can't stop the insects that are feeding ,
pull the needles from beneath my skin.
now i'm on display, i am becoming.
hurt myself today. it's all for you
do you like, do you like what i'm becoming?
cut myself today, it's all for you.
i part the night, flashing, approaching as i watch you flee.
pushed through your panes. seems i've landed quite uncomfortably,
but as i pass through souls of broken glass,
i can't stop the insects that are feeding,
pull the needles from beneath my skin.
please don't ask me what i think, trust me, you don't want to know.
please don't ask me to open up. trust me. trust me. 'cause i can't.
current mood: blah
current music: afi- the last kiss
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(Bite Me)
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Monday, January 27th, 2003
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8:52 pm - Highway
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Highway
As i drive around the freeway
I go arcoss 2 paths..
The rough hard path
And the smooth easy path
I get out of my car and look behind me
I see my childhood behind me
I cry thinking..
Is this it?
The end of my life?
Or
Is this the end of my childhood?
current mood:  crushed
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(Bite Me)
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8:22 pm - My heart hurts...
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my heart hurts so much.. in an emotional way.. i donno.. i feel really really forgoten..i feellike no one cares bout me.. but if people do care about me why dont they show it? and some people do care aboutme and show it but i donon.. i just really really hate being ignored and right now i feel like if i get up ill fall into the floor and cry.. thats how badly i feel.. but ya i guess im a loser..i really wishi could go outside and take pictures and just cry , thatd cheer me up.. well im gonon go byee<33
current mood: crushed
current music: TV
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(2 Bites Bite Me)
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Sunday, January 26th, 2003
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1:40 pm - Drifting away..
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i wish i could feel closer to people. every day i feel so far away from everyone..
current mood:  sad
current music: APC- love song
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(Bite Me)
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Saturday, January 25th, 2003
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8:59 pm
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*sighs* my life is so boring.. theres never anything to do or anyone to talk to anymore.. i just felt like saying that.. bye.. <3
current mood: blah
current music: Tv : mad tv
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(Bite Me)
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7:06 pm - pissed off...
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lala... *sings* im bored.. and i miss my bf.. and yesturday was a bad day...larry was making me feel like shit.. sorry larry but its true.. u made me feel like shit when u said that if i dont go back to school that ill just be a piece of shit.. i dononi cant rememeber waht he said.. but eh i would go back to school but.. its the people they treat me so badly and i cant do shit in school , its hard for me to learn when im bored/depressed/mad.. u know whsat i mean? and then last night late at night i was so bored... there was nothing to do.. i mean nothing , i felt like doing stuff to myself... like how i feel right now... i feel like shit and ignored.. i really HATE being ignored.. last niht i was ignored all night.. it sucked.. ugh.. then today when i woke up.. my sister goes " im going to the movies to see darkness falls " and i wanted to see that moive then my mom goes to my sister " IF SHE DOESNT GO THEN U CANT GO!" then my sister got all pissed off at me and then we were gonon go to the movies just me and her and my sisters friend and that was it... and i wanted to ride the fourwheeler but my stupid parents didnt wake me up and i wanted to ride the fourwheeler ;[ *Sighs*.. and right now my sister was screaming at me because i lost her fucking conncet for her " video cam " stupid bitch.. then she just messes up my room to find things.. stuipd bitch.. -.o.. i feel like people in this house forgot me i feel like people forgot me.. GRR STUPID SISTER WOUT LEAVE ME ALONE SHE KEEPS ON ASKING WHERE THE FUCKING THING IS SO.. FUCK IT.. fuck everytihng ><...
current mood: lonely
current music: tool and apc - love song
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(Bite Me)
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Friday, January 24th, 2003
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8:28 pm - Ugh.. boreddd.... x.X
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lala......im so bored.. that i feel like poking myself wit siccors.. mm.. *gets siccors and pokes self with them* this is fun.. yup.. fun.... theres no food.. no one on... nothing good on tv... bleh.....beingbored ok im gonno go.. byee....
current mood:  bored
current music: tool and apc - love song
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(Bite Me)
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Wednesday, January 22nd, 2003
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8:57 pm - quizes
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My personality is rated 24.What is yours?
Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
thats true..^
What fairy tale cliche are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
current mood:  okay
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(Bite Me)
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8:23 pm - bleh..
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1. If you died tomorrow who would you leave everything you own to? My sister..
2. Who is the one person that you could stand spending a straight 24 hours with and not get the slightest bit annoyed with? *Shurgs* offline?.. no one.. =/
3. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change (personality or looks)? My looks... I couldn't change my personailty because it is the one thing that makes me, me.
4. What is the one thing you just have to do before you die? Well, I can't die a virgin... so...
5. If you won the lottery what would you do with your, let's say, 18 million dollars? i would visit all my true friends and buy things , and buy a beach house.
6. What do you want people to say about you when you die? I really don't know... I have nothing special... But I want to tell people not to cry for me.
7. How long does it take you to get ready to go out? 20 mins?
8. What would you like to be reincarnated as? dont know
9. Do you make fun of your friends? Depends on who it is...
10. Do you enjoy talking to your self? Yes... I relized I talk to myself frequently. =/
11. What's your biggest fear? Dying in a painful death =/
12. What would you have liked to be named? Rose
13. What's your most prized (material) possession? Um... i dont know?
14. What songs bring back the most memories? flaw reminds me of summer and puddle of mudd too
15. What's the largest organ in the human body? Um...dont know? lol
16. Do you have a bar trick? Not really... no.
17. Could a pack of wolves done a better job raising you than your parents? Um.... yeah somewhat
18. What do you look for in the opposite sex? Personality... Personality... Personality... If they have the personality nothing goes wrong... yet looks wouldn't hurt... But looks can't make you love someone... the personality makes you love someone...
19. If you were given one day to live what would you do? ill do everything i've alwways wanted to do.
21. What's your best physical feature? I think my eyes..
22. What's your summer job? uh dont have one.
23. What was the worst punishment your parents inflicted? ...
24. What have you learned about love? Try not to fall in love to hard and to fast..
25. How have you changed in the past year? im more mature then i was last year..
26. What's your way of escaping reality? Sleep... lots and lots of sleep.
27. What hair problems have you had? nothing
28. Can you do anything related to gymnastics or whatever?
no not really.
29. What's the most annoying thing people tell you about you?
uh... i dont know
30. Have you met any celebrities? some spaish singer in dem rep
current mood: lonely
current music: afi
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(Bite Me)
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7:15 pm - I miss my old friends...
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I miss all the people that i used to talk to.. i miss trusting people..i miss being able to tell people everything.. i guess everythings back to normal now..i listen to people and just keep my mouth shut.. i mean i do like listening to people but.. when am i ever going to talk?.. and i reget not listening to my close old friends.. i reget treating them like shit.. *sighs* i hope i see robbie my best guy friend again.. maybe i'll see him.. hopefully.. *Sighs*.. i guess ill be alone in my own world.. oh well.. =/
current mood: okay
current music: AFI-at a glance
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(Bite Me)
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12:06 pm - lala... ;]
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lala... i feel loved.. for some reason i feel loved.. i guess its this song =/ tool and APC (live)- love song. i love this song so much.. *Dances* weee... but ya.. i feel loved... and stuff lol =/ i donon what else to say.. i love my bf bobby<3 ;] hes so cute and sweet lol.. this sounds corny..lol.. well bye guys<3 (leave comments ;P)
screaming out the window
watch me die another day
hopeless situation
endless price i'll have to pay
diary of a madman
walk the line again today
entries of confusion
dear diary, i'm here to stay
sanity now and beyond me
i will always love you
however long i stay
i will always love you
whatever words i say
i will always love you
there's no choice
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel whole again
voices in the darkness
scream away my mental health
can i ask a question
to help me save me from myself
sanity now and beyond me
i will always love you
however long i stay
i will always love you
whatever words i say
i will always love you
there's no choice
i will always love you
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i'm whole again
whevever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i'm whole again
i will always love you
there's no choice
current mood:  loved
current music: tool and apc - love song
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(Bite Me)
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Monday, January 20th, 2003
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2:22 am - lala...
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ok... bleh i felt like saying this coz no ones talking to me now and all.. ok uh i saw my pics and look back at my past.. and i've been tho a lot.. and i donno i always cheer myself up , i always tried to not let things bring me down.. and before i met josh i was all this indentet (cant spell) girl and then i donno i just forgot about all that and droped out and did a lot of stuipd things.. but now im starting to rememember things.. im starting to rememeber my old self which was the happy self lol =/ , ok this sounds corny but still and the only guy im in love wit is bobby and i hope i stay wit him. fuck my arms hurt.. anyways ya.. im gonno try not to change myself , make myself get all bad and depressed like u people think "goths" are. goths dont HAVE to be depressed all the time. i know some goths and they are not always depressed. u people should know tht. unless u got a reason to be depressed. i hated being depressed. i like being happy and having fun. listen to this advice. HAVE FUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN ,DONT LET ANYTHING STOP YOU. listen to that and think about it. well anyways im gono go and sleep i need sleep x.X lol well bye u guys<3 and think about what i said rofl
current mood:  accomplished
current music: the used- blue and yellow
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(Bite Me)
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