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Wednesday, August 18th, 2004
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12:38 am
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saying goodbye to you tonight was one of the hardest things i've ever had to do.
i love you and i'm going to miss you more than you'll know.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 27th, 2004
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9:51 am
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TTAMAK47 [8:20 PM]: baby all of your live journal stuff is crappy say something like i love matty romano or something
I Love you, baby.
Happy 9 months
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 15th, 2004
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6:40 pm
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| Sunday, April 18th, 2004
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2:47 am
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treasure life because you will never know when someone or something that you love will be taken away from you.
baby, i love you.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
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6:24 pm
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i once had bright sights, but now it's dark outside.
i can't seem to break free from this circle i keep running. when i fly, i get shot back to the ground, runinng round and round.
knowing my trust means nothing, the leaps and bounds you run away with. i am only small because you shrink me. my light has faded. lies bow my every need.
one way or another
it's time to break free.
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, January 31st, 2004
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2:00 am
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Dear Rachel,
We regret to inform you that you have not been selected for admission to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. We realize that this is not the answer you hoped for, and we are sorry to deliver this disappointing news.
awesome.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 26th, 2003
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6:31 am
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God works in mysterious ways. but i kno that everything works out better this way
MrEdMan819 [6:32 AM]: and smile
RMW1224 [6:32 AM]: i am :)
you might have to look hard for them. but there are people who care. and what goes around comes around ;)see you on the flip side. [chuckle]
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, November 23rd, 2003
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8:22 pm
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| Thursday, November 6th, 2003
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11:09 pm
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| Wednesday, November 5th, 2003
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7:09 pm
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to the band parents nosy enough to be reading this,
it has been brought to my attention the extent in which you fein to be so involved in your child's life that you would sink to the level of snooping through the lives of their friends. My live journal is just that...a journal. it is a record of my emotions and the events in my life that i find worthy enough to note to myself. is my journal public? yes; however, my own parents would not have the audacity to peruse through my diary...i would assume that my friends would be the only ones reading it.
in any case, i would like to let you know that i do have respect for my mom. to believe that you and your child do not get in bouts is rediculous. and if you truly believe that your children are not excited about moving away from you to go to college, you are naive and dumb. i love both of my parents with all of my heart-and they know that. furthermore, i wouldn't be as stupid as to note my sexual involvement on a public journal. it is obviously a private matter..."finally" refers to me being emotionally involved not sexually involved. finally, to stop the crap talking, please refrain from wasting your time being so involved in other people's lives. and please, get out of mine. :)
Sincerely, your hero
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, October 27th, 2003
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7:47 pm
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| Wednesday, September 24th, 2003
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11:06 pm
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work work work. i got off at like 10 30 and i'm a retard and talked to marc till like 11 cuz he came to see me. we have jew shit this weekend because of the holidays. lockdown. eww.
today was a little better than yesterday but i got yelled at again by the fat racist security guard (boobzilla). she refused to let me go to class because "freshmen would be looking at me" and she actually made me leave school early because she didnt want anyone to see me walking out to the parking lot. ok honestly, stfu. ur retarded and ur boobs are down to ur knees. i hate killian. but soon, it will all be over. UF application got sent today, UCF yesterday. all i have left is FSU, UNC, and POSSSSSSSSSSIBLY UM. i'm scared that i wont get enough money for either um or unc. the thing is, because i'm top 1% of my class, i can get 100% at UM but i only got a 1290 on my SAT so it puts me back down to 75% and i definitely cant be like hey...here's 10000 dollars...minor details.
oh well. i'm gonna try and head to bed.
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| Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003
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8:28 pm
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once again, its been a while. school has been aright. pretty easy- well compared to last year at least. i've been busy applying to colleges and trying to get in every last thing that will look good on my resume. I'm number 7 in my class!! it became official today. wow. i'm so excited. i kno that i'm gonna fall back probably to like # 12 by the end of the year b/c i am taking plastics this year and i'm going to get a b in english...but w/e thats still pretty cool. i hope unc likes it :)
in any case, my life has been so crazy lately. up and down- i'm just trying not to get lost. i remembered why i didnt get involved with anyone for so long. there is just too much drama and too much hurt behind everything. its so not worth it. i guess i'm giving up.
i'm not sure why i'm still up. there's nothing to stay awake for--i guess i'm just killing time cuz who goes to bed at 8 30?!
goodnight
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| Monday, September 8th, 2003
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8:16 pm
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| Sunday, August 17th, 2003
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1:54 am
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Much has happened since i last updated. I've been home and working a lot. Today was eric's funeral. It was by far one of the saddest moments in my life. Seeing an entire group of people sobbing over someone-- he was a really good guy and i know he's going to be missed. it was so incredibly emotional to see his parents. they had to be so strong to make it through today. His little brother had to be carried out because he was to weak to walk himself cuz he was crying so hard. But Eric will end up saving many lives. I've stopped driving like an asshole, been really good with not speeding, always put on my seatbelt before i pull out of the driveway, and say a prayer every time i get in the car. I hope that everyone will think twice before they speed off anywhere without a seatbelt.
To make matters worse, megan left yesterday. i'm really going to miss her. we had some good times and i'm left in miami with some awesome memories. I hope she enjoys tally...but not enough to never come home to visit me :)
To further the downward spiral, josh leaves tomorrow along with dan and ricardo. amy left this morning. timmy leaves on monday i think. grr. its going to suck :( My brother left a couple days ago. i called him as i was leaving the cemetary today to tell him i loved him. sometimes u never know- its good to let the ppl u care about kno once in a while.
In other news, hayley comes home tomorrow- yay. band camp starts on monday. ihave to make my outfit for hawaiin day :) I think i decided on my drum major uniform which is also nice. And on a final note, i'm exhausted. i hope tomorrow is a little better.
R.I.P Eric Adamson.
May you always have an angel by your side
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| Monday, August 4th, 2003
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5:44 pm
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i realized today that i'm the biggest people watcher in the world. i guess sitting on the subway you dont have too much else to look at, but this guy came in and stood holding on to one of the poles with both hands in the air. his shirt inched higher and higher and i wanted to just scream and tell him to put his pubes away. ok just because you wear calvin klein underware doesnt mean you should be modeling your fricken pubic hair!! so as i tried to look in different directions, i look at this other guy flipping something in his mouth. i figured it was just gum but when i became curious because of its funny color, i realized he was flipping the set of fake teeth he had in his mouth. everyone looks so depressed and introverted. if there is only one seat open, do you sit next to the stranger or stand the whole way grasping on to the pole until you reach your destination.
i guess public transit can be a positive thing. this man and this woman were standing together holding a conversation when i got onto the train. i figured they knew each other becuse of his body language, however, when they sat down in the chair behind me once it opened up, i heard him ask her why she was visiting washington. when his station was coming up, he asked her if she wanted to join him for the day. thats cool as hell! it makes me wish we had a cool subway system in miami. that would be just a little difficult running train lines through limestone.
Anywho, i have become a little more appreciative since i came here. Thankful because: every day, come rain or shine, as promising as the sun rising, we have men and women who go to work to protect us and our country. i cried when i went to the memorials the other night. During the korean war, 9000 americans and 450,000 un members were declared missing. that doesnt include the ones that were killed. i just ran my fingers along the writing in the wall at the vietnam memorial. for every name on that wall [60,000], there is a face, a family, and a story to it. At the Holocaust museum, there are belongings and pictures of the torture of the 6 million jews that were executed in the genocide that hitler enforced for phuckin shits and giggles. i swear if that man were alive, i would rip his fucking eyes out. yet, i didnt have to fight to wear a star around my neck or go to temple freely. i can only be thankful that those before me triumphed. i snapped a picture of the "freedom is not free" etched in the wall by the korean memorial.
So, i fly home tomorrow. i'm glad that i got the balls to fly up here. i was able to enjoy the history a lot more once i knew what i was talking about. tomorrow i am going to go and hang out with my uncle at the restaurant. he'll take me to the airport and i get to come home so i can do my laundry and dip to visit josh and go to the DCI semi's. i'm pretty excited. mom is FINALLY gonna let me drive up there...but i'm not even allowed to ask to do it again till my birthday..lol. the only reason that doesnt really piss me off is because i kno that i'm not going to have time between now and when marching season ends which is december 5th this year. and hey- it ends in orlando..haha. where am i going wrong! ;) Anyways, please put a prayer in for safe traveling tomorrow. God Bless.
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| Friday, August 1st, 2003
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8:25 pm
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My fortune:
Do not do unto others what you dont want done unto you [in bed]
My uncle's husband's fortune:
Try something new [in bed]
His response: maybe i should try sleeping with a girl.
This cracked me up :)
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7:20 pm
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i felt like such a tourist today. we went to the museum of american history and to the air and space museum. it reminded me of my brother. i wish he woulda come with me. We bought tickets to go to the holocaust museum for monday. i have never been on the top floor- so i'm kinda excited to see it. I almost cried when i walked into the american museum today- they have the flag that they hung over the pentagon the day after the september 11th tragedy. :( it was very sad. but i was telling erin- i think this was the first time i was ever able to really appreciate the stuff in the museum, like the first lady section was cool as shit. haha
Anywho, we did a LOT of walking today. the people here are nice. This guy on the metrorail went out of his way to explain how the system worked. it was real sweet of him. he was pretty down.
They have a new museum here called the spy museum. we went in the store but there was a wait to get inside the actual exhibit. bummer...i kinda wanted to see it. josh would have loved that too. i bought him his gift from there.
Aright, well i'm down for chinese food.
Hope home is bringing lots of fun...haha
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| Wednesday, July 30th, 2003
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6:55 pm
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so i made it alive!! i cried so much at the airport. i missed my first flight because i was 2 minutes too late to check in my luggage so my mom and i sat in the airport for an extra 2 hours. it was actually a lot of fun. she made me laugh a lot-- she wanted me to pay her to trip a fat lady. and she kept making farting noises as ppl walked by. she's crazy; but, we had a good time. i think i'm going to take her to ozfest. wow. anywho, i cried once i got on the plane, the first time we hit turbulence and then cried tears of joy when we landed. lol. i felt like a huge dork. but i had the seat all to myself and it was cool looking out the window to see the mechanics of the plane.
We went straight from the airport to one of the restaurants my uncle manages (there are 13). it was good BBQ food. reminded me up bubbalou's. today we went to baltimore (maryland..duh). it was really pretty there also. the harbor has lots of good shopping and 2 more of his restaurants. it's cool to hang out wiht my cuz and his g/f. we just go shopping all the time to keep us entertained.
Anyways, hit me up just to chat. i get AIM express up here. I have my cell also, but i pay 60 cents a minute in roaming charges :)
August 6 = my next trip. woo hoo haha.
God Bless
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| Tuesday, July 29th, 2003
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1:27 am
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I'm not sure how or why i'm awake right now. i'm just not tired- so i figured i would be lame like always and update. ucf was awesome like usual. it was umm crazy to say the least. I enjoyed showing around hayley and megan and decided that 4 girls?? yea thats just way too many. i dont kno how the guys live in a house with 40 penises (ok honestly what is the plural form of penis?)and dont go crazy. The car ride up was a little strange. i figured that megan would have driven faster but i think we drove 80 like the whole way there. it took forever- i hate sitting passenger while other ppl drive) anyways, we went over to lake claire to see josh and drop off hayley's stuff cuz she didnt stay at the KE house. friday night? freaking insane. umm but yea i think thats pretty much all i want to comment about it :)You live some, you learn some..you kno? Saturday was pretty much magic kingdom all day. we all got in for free which was really nice and a break on my wallet (even tho i'm probably going to throw away a whole lot of money in washington) i popped a pill once we got home to keep me awake cuz i was running off of 2 hours of not so good sleep and being in the park all day. Saturday night was pretty nuts as well. I really enjoyed myself-- i'm glad that i'm used to taking care of ppl, so i didnt really mind. i ended up watching the sunrise and then didnt even to bed for like an hour after that. i got like 3 hours of sleep and then stayed awake the whole ride home so that megan wasnt too bored. i got home and had like 20 minutes to chill out before work. i was exhausted and WAY out of it..haha. i was like you want icecream?! So these past couple weeks, i've managed to meet a lot of josh's brothers that i really didnt know. I'm glad that he picked a fraternity with chill guys. i was trying to explain that to my mom yesterday. i'm not quite sure she really accepted the crock of shit that was coming out of my mouth because of all the grief with grades and money, but i think that it has taught josh some kind of sense of responsibility and gentlemen-like qualities. hallelujia (yea i cant spell that either.)
In anycase (yes, new paragraph! sorry for that) josh (the other one) comes home tomorrow. It will be nice getting to see him so much within the past couple weeks; but unfortunately, i leave on wednesday for DC. go figure the kid comes home after being gone for three months and i probably will only get to see him like twice before he goes back up. that sux.
I'm excited about taking josh to go see DCI semi's. dont get me wrong, the hanging out for another two nights up there will also be lots of fun, but i think we're gonna have a good time.
I cant believe summer is really coming to an end. i wore my killian honor band shirt to work today and everyone was asking what i played and what not. am i really ready for 5 months of marching band? i just wish it could stay summer for a little longer. this has been my best ever- its been crazy and i've really enjoyed myself. i also found out today that i dont need a practical art credit to graduate because i have so many performing art credits. I'm really happy about not having to waste a class and i'm really thinking about taking IR. It seems like a cool class and it seems interesting. i really want to do mock UN next year. and my mom keeps buggin about the whole silver knight thing. i think its out of my league.. but i realized how busy i'm going to be really soon :( and yes, i'm keeping both jobs.
well, no sense in keeping anyone reading for any longer.
if i cant fall asleep soon, i will pack because i know i wont have time tomorrow and packing wed is cutting it a little short..no? please pray for me. i'm terrified of flying and really need God's assurance :(
Goodnight
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