| haha no, its not over yet.... |
[30 Aug 2004|05:54pm] |
all the Stangerisms (from our lovely Alyssa’s Stanger Quotes [Stangerisms] SOS ‘04
“Be nice to these people [counselors], you’re all going through many chemical changes in your bodies…”
“I think this is a bastard edition.”
“Make it sound like a soufflé- you know, just the right temperature, like a good pizza.”
“This is how we’ll end the summer. I want them so excited they’re throwing their babies on the stage.”
“Who’s playing that? The young lady whose eyes I can barely see? You look like a Turk.”
“This is a crazy waltz. He was castigated for this. I said castigated, not the other word.”
“Listen to the oboe, and let him sound. He’s not a trombone now.”
“It’s the old Vienna, before Hitler and all that idiotic, stupid crowd.”
“You little muckers, you need to be challenged!”
“I knew Yo-Yo Ma before he was Yo-Yo Ma.”
“Trombones, you’re late. Lenny [Leonard Bernstein] once sent me to the back of the orchestra to see if they were late, and they were late. They wouldn’t speak to me for three days.”
“If you can’t play loud, at least look loud.”
“No one has the piccolo part? Another bastard edition hits Albany.”
“Quick, like the Norwegians. Now, the Russians are slow, but, whatever.”
“It’s too feminine. Now, there’s nothing wrong with being feminine, but, you know what I mean.”
“Brass, work on your underwater swimming, so you can hold your breath longer.”
“I wish I could take some of you people home, but you’d eat too many cookies.”
“Don’t forget Junior- he’s an important kid in the family, he just doesn’t eat the other fruits and vegetables.”
“My fault, damn it, I’m whipping myself. You’re all smiling- ‘for once he’s not whipping me for something.’”
“A sudden fauk. Do you know what a fauk is? A sudden storm. I said fauk.”
“Strings at O. I can hardly wait for my ham sandwich.”
“Louder, like an ugly priest!”
“Horn, you’re very important. I didn’t say impotent, I said important.”
To Jeremy (oboe): “Are you Ukrainian? God love the Ukrainians. I look at all these little schnitzes in front of me and I get incredible sounds.”
“There’s nothing north of Minneapolis but the North Pole and an electric cow fence.”
“It’s your birthday! Everyone pick a key because you’re multi-faceted.”
“Itzhak Perlman sits back in all his blubber there and plays like this…”
“Everyone 11- ichi ichi, itchy itchy.”
“This is real German schmaltz. The kuchen, the cookies, and the strudel.”
“You’re imitating a street band- you know, Salvation Army, McDonalds.”
“Good rehearsal. Hope you don’t get dormed!”
“Stravinsky, that little scalawag, it’s so well written.”
“Okay, I can’t hear you, darling, but it sounds like a good excuse. No whipped with a wet noodle, no dorming here.”
“Marvelous bass section- can’t hardly wait for the Sibelius. I’ll be climbing over you like a rabbit, but, well, you know what I mean.”
To Andrew (oboe): “Imagine the thrill I get working with a talented bozo like you! And that I meant very respectfully.”
“He’s asking the horn to stand on top of the Empire State Building with the crows flying around his head, and then play softly!”
“What time is it? Okay, let’s get our hash.”
“It’s like a mother with a baby carriage running through a stop sign and a mack truck runs over her.”
“Come on, enthusiasm! Not ‘oh, God…’”
“Let’s hear it. The chuggy-poo is not good.”
“The only reason I’m glad I haven’t got grandchildren is because they don’t keep me poor… you know what I mean.”
“If you screw up, they’ll throw their crumpets at you.”
“I’m giving you a cue, but you turned off the hot water and I stand naked in the shower… and it’s all your fault…God love ya.”
“Energy! Not like, ‘oh, you should’ve seen the dog last night,’ or you know, whatever.”
“Another bastard edition. Bastard- funny word, funny word… I know your vicious little minds.”
“Out by the Capitol, there are mosquitoes, flies, dive-bombing pigeons and crows, and then the wind.”
“Let’s take it again so we can get used to it, like potty-training.”
To Christina (bassoon): “It really sounds like a stovepipe, but that’s not your fault, honey.”
To Dave (percussion): “I see you’ve automatically thrilled our harpist. That’s okay, harpist, he’s a nice young man. You’ll end up married.”
“The music world isn’t as big as it seems. When I met Yo-Yo…“hey, how ya doin?” It was one of his first concerts and they paid him in peanuts.”
“Bassoon, would you move your head? Or just take it off. Okay, fine.”
“You’re getting into your Ferrari, you’ve got all these chromosomes chroming inside of you, and all of a sudden you zoom off like a rocket…”
“You’ve got a crazy conductor, let’s face it.”
“Come on, make me very ‘happy, happy, happy.’”
“Now we’ll go over my Jalapa. Not chalupa or whatever you eat, but Jalapa.”
“Very nice! Now, shut up-a your face.”
“Mexicans- they’re the dearest people, if they learn not to rob so much- they’re poor people.”
“When the concertmaster stands up, you step to it. Remember, he’s Irish- strong. He’s also good-looking.”
“Flutes, the cuckoo is drunk.”
To Rich (cello): What was that? God, you can get some ugly sounds and some heavenly sounds on that thing. You’ve got quite a Pandora’s Box there.”
To Chris (horn): “Let’s have a little more from the Piano Man. Wonderful Piano Man.”
“See how temperamental they are? The Norwegians, Danes, and Swedish- they’re all temperamental. The cold air does it.”
“Let’s take O. Ono. No, that’s Uno…”
“Let’s take chalupa… I mean, Jalapa.”
“Percussion, let’s have the whip out next time. It’s a Stradivarius whip, okay, fine.”
“It took me about five months to write it [Jalapa] all out. Nowadays, you tinkle poop and all that, and it comes right out for you! I guess I’ll have to buy a computer.”
“People, you have to work at this in your dungeons, in your homes.”
“Yum, bum, bum, stand up for Finland!”
“Wake up! Snap out of it- you know that movie scene? Snap out of it, whack, whack.”
“I want you to play the pants off it. Don’t make it nude, but just play the pants off it.”
“Ahh, that hurts! Give me novocaine!”
“When you’re sitting on an Easter egg or a bagel, depending on your religion, watch out.”
“Sometimes you play like gods… and then you’re dormed!”
“We’ve got some blind people, absolutely stark raving blind! Look up every million bars, okay? We’ll keep in touch.”
“Those Europeans- they’ve got good gin, and they’ve got good sforzandos. I’m not encouraging you to drink, but, well, you know what I mean.”
“I can’t hear you! You’re in the bathroom and I’m in the living room.”
“You’ve all got some crackerjack teachers, and they’ve got some crackerjack pupils.”
“There was not a tack on my seat. I did not rise because of a tack. I want you to move the note along…”
“I get furious when you’re dormed. You’re my little chickadees. Please don’t get dormed…”
“Don’t rush. It reminds me of the underwater swimmers at the Games in Greece. Terrific.”
“Tell your instruments what to do. Just a piece of wood.”
“When you have an instrument in your hand, you hold the highest type of manhood or womanhood. When you have an instrument in your hand, no one can dorm you.”
To Max (bass): “You’re okay? I’m so glad you’re not having a baby. So glad, I’m overjoyed.”
“Come on, more! More chalupees to my Jalapa.”
“You can hear much more at SPAC than in the mausoleum we rehearse in.”
“You’ll all stand up, and then we should have enough babies on the stage to handle the situation.”
In Music History Elective:
As the elevators keep opening and closing: “I feel like I’m in a department store.”
Stanger: “What class is this?”
Leanne: “Music History.”
Stanger: “Pretty soon I’ll be history.”
On Jalapa: “Little donkeys, little dogs, little people…”
Brian: “Do you like composing?”
Stanger: “Well, it’s better than decomposing.” ) all the laughs...all the good times, I will never forget.
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