| 09:44pm 04/03/2006 | |||
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Give me a Monkey, and I'll teach him to fling poo. Give you my heart and I'll stay in love with you. Give me a punch and I'll bleed on your hand. Give you a kick so you never can stand. :o roar. |
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| 07:25am 02/03/2006 | |||
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:o Happy Birthday Lydia~ In other news, I-- CRITICAL HIT! Charisma -7 Willpower -4 Used Item of Cash; $16 LEVEL UP! Trigun Boxset+1 Nadesico Boxset+1 Geek +5 Otaku-ness +20 </lazyass> |
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| 02:00am 22/02/2006 | ||||
I should be screaming my head off in joy with the biggest smile in the world. I should be kissing babies faces and shaking peoples hands. Huh. My Aunt's death didn't affect me. Yet this, I feel like crying for. And it angers me, tauntingly almost because I'd sacrifice it all just for that brief moment. The moment knows it won't happen. I know it won't happen. We have come to terms. |
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envious| 07:00am 14/02/2006 | |||
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I've been dreading this day for years now. It's finally come to pass. Last night I had something of a nervous breakdown. I started pulling strand after strand of my hair. Maybe it was my excruciating workout last night that let the walls of my mind collapse that far to let such a thing happen. My head hurts 2damaxxx Xtrem. As does my mind. And my soul. And my heart, and all of those things. Why can't this day be over already? And before I forget; I went on a Water diet, and a normal diet. Water and Lean Cuisine, hooray. Off to dreading this day some more. Copied from lj because I'm a lazy ass. |
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| I know it's late so STFU! | |||
| 05:48pm 09/12/2005 | |||
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Happy Belamated Birthdays to Wes Annnnd a happy Birthday to Krys. |
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| 01:50pm 16/11/2005 | |||
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Dear Journal, Is it wrong that I have a bloodlust to rip off my friends head for knowing what he has done, and yet still let him get away with it? No? Didn’t think so. Recap for people who don’t know; I have a friend. His name is Paul. No, scratch that. I suppose he’s better suited off as an acquaintance right now in the mood that I’m in. Y’see, I’ve known Paul for three, four years. I met him through a friend whose pratically like a brother to me, even though we’re cousins I believe. We never figured that out exactly. Either way, he’s like family and they were in a group home together, as Randy (the friendcousin) had his mom die in n8th grade, so he had ti live there. Wtfux0r if I know what Paul was doing there. Either way, we meet in the beginning of 9th grade, and he seems like a cool kid and all, you know? Likes video games and if Randy likes him, then he can’t be all that bad. So I give him a shot, we become friends as he only lives a few minutes away from me. I was talking to Randy about Final Fantasy X This is where it begins. Paul never had played it, so he asks me if I can borrow it. Being the friend I am, and always wanting to expand a friends culture of gaming, I let him borrow it. After all this, I start tuning him into Anime and other video games, get him into a groove and find something that he’s comfortable with. I get him addicted to Gundam hardcore (He started on Wing like most lawl n00bs.) and I worked on his foundation with that, showing him the Original, then working my way up. Then he got addicted to Gundam SEED, and Gundam SEED Destiny, which he still is. Outfrom the Mecha point, I expanded his culture otherwise into such long-running Genres as One Piece and Detective Conan/Case Closed. Now, within this time span, let me jump back to my FFX. I haven’t gotten that game back since I let him borrow it. Why? He let some guy, I think he said his mentor or something? Fuck if I know. Anyway, he let him borrow it, and said he was a trustworthy guy. Yeah, some guy I’ve never met, nor seen is really trustworthy of MY game which Is brand spankin’ new. I just kinda shrug it off, but don’t let it show how much I want to stab him right there. I switch schools because the one I go to isnshittastic, and thus go to city high. I wanted laptops, grandmother wanted a spreaded environment away from the stupid people. His dad asks about it, and eventually Paul goes there. I introduced him to people I had known and met, because that’s what friends do if othr friends have the same interests, no? I introduce him to August and Brendan. Skip a few months, whatever. I buy the YuGiOh Game, Duelists of the Rose, as I was in that stage where I was really into it (And It kinda died down for me, le poo.) No less than a week that I have it, Paul asks to borrow it. I mean, wtfux, seriously. I had already told August that I’d let him borrow it, because he was into YGO before we had tuned Paul into it. Time passes, I let August Borrow it, and then August lets Paul borrow it without telling me. I can kinda understand that as we both know paul, and the fact that he had told me right after because he wouldn’t stop bitching about it. :o Paul loses my Duelists of the Rose and blames it on August. Says he never let him borrow it, even though I saw it over his house, and he said he wasn’t going to bother buying it. I about popped a damn blood vessel. Around after this, I got a job working for my school. 7 bucks an Hour + no worries = Me buying games with my paychecks. And buy I did. I had gotten Chaos Legion, along with a few other games. Paul lets me borrow (And by that I mean he was too lazy to aktake it home wirth him) his Wrestlemania game for Gamecube (Create-a-Character drags me into anything) and the next night, he spends the night over. Next morning, All my games that I bought with my paychecks, and his stupid fuckcunt game were gone. Oh noes~ There are two people who could’ve done it; My father, or him. Only way it could’ve been my father is if he got the key from someone, which I highly doubt. Which leads to only one person, because I sure as hell didn’t do it. I scrubbed lockers, cleaned gum from under tables and went against a locker forming mold to get that money. Whilst fast-forwarding to the next big event, let it be known that he continually counted on me to pay for food whenever we were out, which amassed up his debt even more, Especially since we almost always went out to Chinese food. Next Event My grandmother gives me around.. Oh, 150 bucks because she won the lottery twice. With this, I decide to go get some new games, because I’m a gameaholic. Sue me. He decides to come with me, just because he “wanted to see what games I would get.” Tchyeah. We go down to the EB where we usually go. Now, the choice of the games are wide, but I only had my eye on three right then, which is when they were released; La Pucelle Tactics, Transformers, and Samurai Warriors. I had enough to get all three of them, of course, but I only bought two. He goes on about how I shouldn’t “waste my money” doing that. Bitch plz. After hours of trying to convince me to get the craptacular Transformers game, I tell him to Stfu and go eat some corn flakes. Being the “friend” that he is, after I whip out my wad O cash with +2 against Merchants, He decides to throw in his Jak II, along with two other games I was trading in so I could get extra creditz0rz. Oh glory days. After this, and we purchase the games (I would’ve been better paying off in cash) He decides that one of the games are his because he put in 10 dollars store credit. I don’t want to laugh at his face, it’s rude and all, so I just kinda look at him and shrug it off. With it, he asks to borrow La Pucelle Tactics. I go wtfux no. I mean, I just buy a game and he asks. This was one, maybe two that I’ve known him in years. He then bitches about how I’d let August borrow it because I like him better. First of all, I didn’t like either of them better, and secondly, I would like him better because he doesn’t let people I don’t know borrow my games, Assfuck. So I just kinda stare at him and go wtfevar and let him borrow it. He has it for about three months before I see it again, as he brings it over. I play it for a total of two hours before he decides to leave my house with it, without notifying me. Which is fucking ghey. Then a month later it disappears in his room. Oh noes. Two weeks later one of our friends says he has the entire Nippon Ichi collection released, thanks to him. So yeah. I asked him about it not too long ago, and he tells me that what he did was buy it from Paul a while ago. I almost developed a Peptic ulcer biting my tongue in anger, and still do whenever I’m with him. Fast forward, He steals some of my YGO Cards, which doesn’t piss me off as much as nit should, but still does none-the-less. Oh, he also decided to be a hypocrite and steal my La Blue Girl Btw; La Blue Girl/Lady Blue is a Hentai for those of you who don’t know. I don’t very much watch it for the tentacle action, but for the heartgrasping story. …That and Ninjas who fire their pubic hairs as steel missiles. None the less, he says that Hentai is retarded, and that I was an addict and pervert for buying it. Him being one to talk, has a shitloadwtf on his home computer. All of this basically leads up to today, as to where his cash debt is well over $120, and I don’t even know what his game debt it to the games he lost and all. Another fun note; He let a friend borrow my Devil May Cry 3 without telling me for some weeks, because he wanted to borrow Radiata Stories from him. You have no idea how bad I wanted to beat his face in with a hammer. I also have reason to believe that he traded in my Guilty Gear Isuka. If he did such a thing, I swear to god I’m stabbing him multiple times. He probably doesn’t do it to anyone else because of the fact that most of them are older, but I am going to kill him. So, asking you reader-y people who pay attention to this and decided to actually read this shitstorm of a post, what should I do about this predicament? |
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| 09:44pm 30/10/2005 | |||
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-Twitch.- And I guess she'll never know how much that I care. The limits that I w ould go to for her and the people I would kill. She'll never know the pain and the sorrow I've endured. She'll never know the hardships, the suffering and the scorn. I'd kill for her, give my right hand or left. She could take her choice, just out of spite and hug me with my own. But still, I would still love her If she didn't not return it. And when my love has died I would grimace as I burned it. Too bad she doesn't know. |
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| 09:18pm 30/10/2005 | |||
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I went and saw Saw 2. The initial guy is a wuss and deserved to die the way he did. I saw the ending about halfway through after the initial guess that I had. All in all, it was a good movie, though I do feel bad for the one girl. I suggest that you go see it, if you have the time and aren't easily grossed out by things and all. I made a rather ingenius long poem the other night, while I basked in the loneliness and pool of sorrow as I walked home, which suprisingly had plenty drunk college kids celebrating halloween, and a handfull of stars in the sky, which made me happy. I still remember it, but I'll write it down another day. My mentality has been broken a lot as of recently. I don't concentrate on things, My mind (and heart) are both out of sync, wandienrg aimlessly. I might skip college and go into becoming a devout Monk or something. Yeah, I have been thinking a lot recently about this, as well as for a rather long time. I really want to smash someone's head in. I don't know why but my homocidal rage has been raging, thriving more often onward around the people that I don't like, which has to involve me keeping myself away from them. I really hate when people lead me on with run-on sentences and questions, and then say nevermind about it. It really irks me because it's my time to actually pay attention and donate my two cents, but then it's ripped away from me within a small amount of time. I hate that shit so bad. I really need to get away, around people that I feel comfortable with, people that I relate to. I can't relate to that many people within my schoool, safe for the group of people that I keep as my good friends and all. I go in for my medical evaluation tuesday, which should be fun and all. I have to tell them all about the shit that it does for me, which is actually nothing at all and completely bullshit. Slowly but surely, I'm learning Kanji or Katakana from playing Super Robot Taisen J. With every passing moment that I go through that game, I learn more and more. I'm not here as much as I want to be, commenting on my friends pages, being there when they need someone to talk to, or to learn on their shoulder so please forgive me or some junk I guess. I'm really tired of being jobless and denied jobs. It's starting to piss me of to the point where I'm getting ready to sell one of my kidneys so I can get some cash. I mean, honestly. My ass is going numb from sitting so long. I would've left long ago if I hadn't wanted Battle Royale so badly. Time to go Trick or Treating on Gaia. Merry Happy Halloween. |
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| 12:24pm 12/10/2005 | |||
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I'm not a genius, so don't ask me for all your answers. I'm not a Sane person, so don't push me over the edge, or so help me god I will stab you in the face. I'm not a God, don't pray to me or I will smite you down with my Two by four. I do however, have the Ferocity of a Polar Bear, and will rip your ass up if you piss me off. I felt that I had to get that off my mind while it was still there. I'm not really in the best of moods, I guess. Well, I am. I dunno what the fuck I'm in. I started see a Psychiatrist now, after the years of relentless Bloodlust. Oh, and depression I guess.His name is Barry Sanders and he was upfront. I told him it'd be nice to be a friend, and he said that He wasn't my friend, and he wouldn't consider himself one because he was getting paid to talk to me. I like him already, though I think I creeped him out with the whole Psychotic episodes and my obsession of fire, things like that. But alas, School is out so I gotta finish this later. Yeah. |
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| Here's a fscking update | ||||
| 08:07am 30/09/2005 | ||||
And last but not least You get this;  Have a nice day. ^_x |
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| 11:20am 18/07/2005 | |||
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Goddamned school blocking DJ. ANyways, I dunno if it posted through, but Greg sent you 180 messages, Cathryn. |
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| 03:40pm 12/07/2005 | |||
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Serene calmness of the ever-flowing State of mind of the eternal waves Wishy-Washy thoughts of a pre-pubescent teen Eyes averting the looks of the media Piercing cold gaze to the papers which spread rumors Fingernails colored to match the hue of retina Tongue blue with the color of the berry Enjoying a cold treat of ice on a hot day Whilst lounging on Birchwood bench. Lipstick shades of the bizarre variety A beautiful shade with matching eyeliner To match the attitude of the girl they belonged to. |
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| Huh. | ||||
| 07:55am 12/07/2005 | ||||
A cigarette in my mouth, the tip lit while the flame idly flickers due to the fan. It’s candy, of course. I have enough people who smoke in my house to have gotten eight black lungs. I light it because it tastes like roasted marshmallows. It’s a rather good feeling. Thoughts have been racing through my head the entire day; The thought of love. It’s been on my mind for who knows how long. I’ve been trying to get it out, yet it’s always there. It annoys me to no end. Strange, how the thing I almost loathe most is always rushing through my head. I believe Dustin’s (Yuushi on my friendlist) journal says it with a quote; Every man is Guilty of the things he does not do. It’s a quote from Voltaire if my memory serves right. People say once they find the person that they love, they would do anything for them. This makes me think, which I don’t like to do. I get serious when I think; I blow everything off around me while my mind wraps completely around one subject. If the day comes, where I actually meet someone on the off chance, and fall in love with them, would I blatantly open my heart to an extent and risk my own life just to save theirs? It really is such a perplexing thing for one who hasn’t hit the age to even legally buy pr0n yet, no? I also think that entire thing is foolish; to give your life to save the one you love. I’m not saying that it’s stupid, w—waits. Yes I am. It’s the same as leaving them so they can be happy. If you die for the person you love, then you leave them alone; lost forevermore within the darkening abyss of loneliness. You die to let them live, yet what would be the purpose? To move on and forget about you? It’s foolish. An act of love, but foolish none the less. You cause them more pain than joy. Your intentions are good, yet the fail miserably in an attempt to make one happy. Not only that, you lose your grip on life and reality, and can only grasp the cold, brittle hand Death as it’s snare drags you under. You doom yourself and the contents of your companion’s mind. “But you can hardly swallow your fears and pain, when you can’t help but follow, put you right back where you came.” It’s from a song; Live and Learn. It was on Sonic Adventures 2, the last stage I believe. I believe that it basically sums up what will happen. I need to divert myself from this subject. I can get caught up in it for a long time, which would make one hellacious post. To divert my mind from it, I’ll say this; I love the bang of hair that I have on the right side of my face. It bounces when I walk and makes me smile oh so much, yet tears my heart asunder for some reason. That, I do not know why. But I took pictures of it with my disposable, so I can have some good shots of it. It makes well for cosplaying. I plan on cosplaying the Red-Eyed Coyote, Asimov. ...That’s the guy from the first episode of Cowboy Bebop, for those who don’t recognize the name. All I need is a proficient way to turn my eyes blood red without contacts or spraying Air freshener in them. So maybe I’ll just stay up and stare at a bright light. Because contracting Pink eye is out of the question, not to mention annoying I bet. Manga and Anime have been torturing me as of lately. It’s all becoming romantic as if just to taunt with me. It’s being evil so I want to bitchslap it with an iron fist. I still need a job. No places are bothering to hire and that’s annoying, especially when I check everywhere. Damn Pittsburgh and its lack of jobs. I need money to feed my addiction. Music brought me back to this; people share songs. Yanno, how people have songs which hold some significance? Whether it be a friend, or a lover, or even parents. I don’t have any type of song that I share. With anyone. It’s a rather annoying nuisance. Damn you music, you’re supposed to be on my side, not the other. Huh, damn it. The Hunted was playing in the background. The movie, that is. Benicio Del Toro was pretty badass in it. I want to make a little Scimitar-like blade the way he did. Speaking of which, that reminds me. I need to go take pictures of the thing I got from Tekkoshocon. And with the talk of blades, I found a rusted box cutter. It made me happy so I took it with me. I’ve been writing this journal entry since about 3 am. Idly jotting down this and that as I l istened to the music. So thusly, I’ve began my pilgrimage to school. School, a rather horrid place indeed which is why I want not to return. Separated from anyone outside the building for 8½ hours isn’t really fun. Three more schoolweeks until I’m out for the month of August, huzzah. Though that means the majority of you won’t see me for that entire month. (Though some of you don’t even talk to me already, what would the difference be?) I’ve decided that most likely after High School, I’m going to embark on another pilgrimage around the world; To visit all of my friends. It’d be nice to see them all, and hang out, yanno? Dunno where I’ll start of course. Then again, I still need my driver’s permit. Maybe I’ll go get that this weekend, I’ve been putting it off and getting delayed. I need to get the one for motorcycles as well, try and get my Aunt’s off of her. She doesn’t use it, it just sits in our backyard so I would say I’m entitled to it or atleast to borrow it for an extended period of time with no guarantee of returning, no? Oh, yeah. Whilst waiting for the bus, there was this jalopy of a car. By the looks of it, It was a Lumina, probabloy around ’94. Looked l ike my Grandma’s car did.Anyways, it had three shoddy hubcaps, the entire right side and the back left side. Or vice versa, depending on where you were looking from. Anyways, the Upper Left/upper Right hubcap was all nice and shiny. And extended from that, was another one, focused on the center. That center of the hub cap had a rather generic, hood-rat wannabe living in their mother’s basement too cheap to buy a cup of ramen tiny ass spinner. It made me gigglesnort for about five minutes, then the bus came. Thus, that’s where we are right about now. Me typing all of this on the bus for the entireity since the sentence after me finding the box cutter. I’ve got a poem that I wrote, for creative writing class. My classmates and teacher keep calling it awesome-o, so I suppose I’ll post it to see your opinions. I kinda wrote it at a spur of the moment thing, so it might not be good. But still, thanks. I’ll post it when I find it, til then, whatever. |
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bored| Bwee. | ||||
| 02:08am 05/07/2005 | ||||
As I collect them onto my C drive. I ran across one that made me pause, and well up just slightly on the inside. It’s allegedly a Dojin-slash-manga of Evangelion. That’s the show with God and Giant robots, yanno? Anyways, it was this one. (Insert picture here.) And not only that picture, but a few other things have been causing me to sort of well up on the inside. It’s a rage-type thing that irks me. It’s that thing called Loneliness. And watching the entire series of Love Hina didn’t help me either. Oh, and as a sidenote; I fucking hate Naru, she’s a bitch and should be shanked multiple times for what she does to Keitaro. But that’s beside the point. What the point is, I’ve figured that chances are know me, I’ll end up being single throughout… Oh, let’s see, eternity. I bet its something I did in a past life or something. Probably did something incomprehensible and stupid that I can’t believe that I did it, so I’m being punished for it. Fucking crapkarma. I bought Mezzo. It’s the sequel (I think) to Mezzo Forte, because the one girl kept talking about how Mikura (Lead girl) killed her lover, who you learn is Mikura’s sister. I don’t know how the fuck someone couldn’t tell, I mean they look like twins facially, the only main difference is really hair color and attitude. Funny thing is another thing with that story; While buying Mezzo, We (That being me and 3 friends and one friends cousin) had ran into a girl. She was buying the Gundam Seed Collectors box. We sparked up conversations about the entire thing, she looked around 17 mayhap, and was with her mother. She sided with me on the fact that Deathscythe Hell Custom was one of the best Gundams Ever, and so I rubbed it into their faces. After we left, Brendan (friend) had cursed at himself and said that he should’ve asked for her number. Then proceeded to try and raid my cell phone for numbers (Due to the fact that all of my friends like anime basically and their numbers (those that I have; still accepting more) are in there. He then proceeded to ask me why I don’t ask them out; Stop. Hammer time. I didn’t answer though. I never answer those questions. I just told him it wasn’t about me, but more about him and his own self confidence about not asking girls. Proceeded to ask me where do I meet them because he could fall for a girl who liked anime in a second; I told him that it’s not all about if they like anime or not, but rather their personality. All of the people that I know who like anime and that I talk to have personalities that I can relate to. Though some of them are evil and like to stab things, yes. Who can’t relate to that? I pointed out places where I met/meet people who have my similar likes, just to be a good friend. (That, and he was on attached to my knees screaming out please, but that’s beside the point.) Now, I know some people probably took offense to my whole not answering segment, on why I don’t ask some of my friends out. I know some of you too well to not know you took offense. It’s not that I haven’t liked/do like any of you in that way, but rather I’m sort of… What’s the words I can use; sheepish, old fashioned, a goddamned wreck. I think of taking girls out on Boat rides, yanno wit the paddles over an open like, enjoying the view of the sky from a rooftop, or watching the wind blow leaves off of the tree during fall, comforting each other when we’re down, having fun when we’re happy, resting on one-another as pillows. Enjoying the sunset and sunrise on a grassy knoll while enjoying lunches together. -Dragged out sigh.- I doubt any girl wants a guy like that. Anyways, wanted to get that off my chest. I’ll post later again, or something. |
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apathetic| Hur. | |||
| 10:41pm 24/06/2005 | |||
| Happy (Belated) birthday, Chelsea. | |||
| 08:52am 27/05/2005 | ||||
02. I will then tell what song/movie/icon reminds me of you. 03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be. 04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you. 05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you. 06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of. 07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you. 08. Put this in your journal. 'cause I'm not one to really not do this after having it done to me. On another side note; Tekken 5 is absorbing my mind, along with the seething pain of not having my Ps memory card and the ability to finally finish Legends of Dragoon. -Whine.- I'm on the 4th disc and my friend just let me borrow his. ...I need a job and money. -Holds up his "Ninjas killed my family, need money for Karate Lessons" sign.- |
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| Stolen from Lydia | |||
| 12:21pm 18/05/2005 | |||
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Your objective is simple: Widespread Misery. Your motive is a little bit more complex: Sadistic pleasure Stage One To begin your plan, you must first incapacitate a chosen one. This will cause the world to leave, paralyzed by your arrival. Who is this demented madman? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as a dark gunslinger? Stage Two Next, you must desecrate the Eiffel Tower. This will all be done from a abandoned church, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will die in a way you just don't want to think about, as countless hordes of ninjas hasten to do your every bidding. Stage Three Finally, you must let loose your arcane ritual, bringing about the destruction of the masses. Your name shall become synonymous with rage, and no man will ever again dare interrupt your sentences. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to whisper your name in fear. |
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| Meh.. | |||
| 11:55am 18/05/2005 | |||
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My school is having a Junior Prom. It's some time next month. I don't think I'll be going. Don't have a date anyway. And it's on a crap boat. Someone's bound to fall over, I can tell. I'm almost finished with my whole... life story-type dealy. So yeah, expec that rather soon. |
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| 08:49am 05/05/2005 | |||
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Oh, and I just noticed the likeness of my Icon, and the new NIN Single. Because, it really is the Hand that feeds you. |
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| Hi. | |||
| 08:48am 05/05/2005 | |||
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Just to let you know that I'm all alive, and all that. I'm going to post something. Later. You can indulge yourselves into my psyche. |
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chiaki_nagoya |
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Friends Info Calendar Unfinished Birth of Tazaraki |
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| skip | ||
| Backward | ||