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Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
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7:33 pm - Thinking whilst typing.
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Today is Thrusday 23 of February of the Year 2006.
Local time is 7:34 pm.
I should be comming back from a job, i should be holding.
I should be living either in Guadalajara or in Veracruz.
I should be living on myself, too.
I should be doing something with my life.
But neither of these things is true.
It's about 1 month and 7 days to my birthday, and i have done not a single thing to improve my life. It's rather sad, i know.
Nori said that i should stop talking to him if i'd get to the 21 years and still doing nothing about my life. I guess it means i am going to stop talking to him.
It's harder now than ever to see the purpouse on anything.
I just don't find anything to look forward to.
I guess i'm losing that tiny bit of hope i had, i guess.
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How does feel to waste 21 years of one's life?
I thought i was doing the right thing, but i never put an effort into it. And furthermore, i believe now that i was just lying to everybody and to myself with that thing of school.
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I guess i've made too many mistakes. But i'm still alive and i still can improve my life. But will i?
The future doesn't look promising.
current mood:  apathetic
current music: Molotov
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(1 eaten brains | Braaaain!!)
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| Monday, February 6th, 2006
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6:58 pm
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| Tuesday, January 31st, 2006
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2:10 am - now imma gonna write shit of the wiccan thingie.
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'Bide the Wiccan Law you must, In perfect love and perfect trust''
Everybody wants to tell others what to do, don't they?. What's up with the "perfect love & trust"? WE are humans. WE have no perfect *anything*, and i find it silly to sugest that one can actually follow a set of rules to the perfection, it's like they don't understand that there are NO extremes in life; the same way it can be 100% black, it can't be 100% white.
'Live and let live: Fairly take and fairly give.'
Yes, it does sounds pretty nice and happy and all that. However, you can live and let live but it does nothing about the people you live with. What if you are give/take fairly but the other peoples do not and excede your limits? I don't think it's managable.
And i'd not continue one single day for the rest of my life.
That'd SUCK majorly.
'Cast the circle thrice about, To keep the evil spirits out.'
Well, it MAY keep evil spirits out, but not the peoples with fire torchs. You know? the ones who BURN PEOPLES AT THE STAKE???
'To bind the spell every time, Let the spell be spake in rhyme. '
Me and my knowledge of occultism disagree. What is important is Not the shape of the spell, but the willpower of the magician. There could be a magician who doesn't even chants spells, but is at least as powerful as any spell-chanting magician.
'Soft of eye and light of touch Speak little and listen much.'
Means that you have to be introverted?? What's up with that? what if you do in fact want to talk your heart out to other fellow wiccans? You'd be breaking this rule, then? Or what if you feel like breaking stuff? Or if you have been overwhelmed with stupid information (for example) by useless people who have nothing of value to offer?
'Deosil go by the waxing moon, Sing and dance the Witches' Rune.'
Although this does depict a scene rather than any kind of "command" or such, it's silly to think that A RUNE sings. Much less dance. It's like, saying broom flies or some such.
'Widdershins go when the moon doth wane, And werewolves howl by the dream wolfsbane.'
It's a non-sequitur of some sort which i don't get. But it sucks too. Cuz i says so.
'When the Lady's moon is new Kiss thy hand to Her times two. '
*only* when the moon is new? Poor lady. she must be lonely the other 27 days :(
'When the moon rides at her peak, Then your hearts desire speak.'
Well *MY* heart does desire speak, about Always. And i find it weird for a writting to tell me when i desire something.
'Heed the north winds mighty gale, Lock the door and drop the sail. When the wind comes from the south, Love will kiss thee on thy mouth. When the wind blows from the east, Expect the new and set a feast. When the west wind blows o'er thee, The departed spirits restless be. '
I don't know about the navy reference, but it's strange that i'd close my door if the wind comes from north... I mean, What if my door is facing south?? Or some other direction? Also, i bet wind has came from the south many times in my life time and i've yet to be kissed in the mouth by love. I mean, several peoples have kissed me in the mouth, but not love. The same for the other 2 winds. I hate them and their windyness.
'Nine woods in the cauldron go, Burn them fast and burn them slow Elder the Lady's tree, Burn it not, or cursed be. '
Ok, i understand it's about incense, but exaclty *why* would it be burn inside a cauldron? wouldn't be it more productive if you burnt it Below it? Or in a stove? Or in the case of aromatical and/or recreational... "Woods" it probably is more useful to burn them in one of these incense containers.
And exactly how do you burn something fast AND slow?
'When the wheel begins to turn, Let the Beltaine fires burn. When the Wheel hath turn to Yule, Light the log and let Pan rule. '
Althoug im assuming that you light the logs and let them burn when its the beltaine thing going, what happens when it's pan's time? Do you not let the logs burn something? or you don't light them with the Beltaine's thang?
Also, How do i know that Pan is anything sort of a good ruler?!?
'Heed ye flower, bush and tree, And by the Blessed Lady be!'
Uhm, well, ... Respecting the vegetables is suppossed to bless me? Why can't i just burn them or sell them or use them for more productive goals?
One could argue that it's a bad idea, due to the planet being all an ecosystem and such, but then, why couldn't i plant something in the place of the things i killed? It's pretty much like working to gain money -> you do something so you can get something.
'Where the rippling waters flow, Cast a stone and truth you'll know. '
Really, if this one about knowing whence the ripples come from, throwing a stone to them isn't going to help it much anything. In fact, it Will make it worse. And i don't think you'd gather much from the experiment. It's kinda pointless.
'Whenever you do have a need, Harken not to others greed.
Never take money in exchange for using magical power.
With the fool no seasons spend, Nor be counted as his friend.'
This one does seem pretty Ok, minus the line about the fool... It's called discrimination, and it's not their fault that they are mentally diferent-abled.
'Merry meet and merry part, Bright the cheeks and warm the heart. '
This one does sound sensible too, but i don't think it's actually sensible to "merry part"... though it probably is a social construct. I hate this one either way.
'Mind the threefold law you should, Three times bad and three times good.'
Although it seems strange to be told to "mind something", i think the 3 times thing is kinda exagerated, i don't think there'd be enough life to receive 3 times everything you do.
'When misfortune is enow, Wear the blue star on your brow.'
I wouldn't wear a star in my brow, it is silly! besides, blue doesn't look well on me.
'True in love ever be, Unless thy love id false to thee. '
i must confess, i don't get this one at all. Why and more importantly *how* would i be "true in love"? Meaning i can't "fake in love"? Or something? And also, if my love is false to me, it means i can be false to sie too? tooth for tooth, then?
'Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill, 'And it harm none, do what ye will'. '
THIS ONE... Is the one that i disagree most with.
Chaos theory has thaught us that in a system complex enough it's almost impossible to predict accurately the result of every of our actions.
What then, if i missjudge a possibility and it does result in somebody being harmed due to my actions? I, as a limited human cannot possibly account for every single consequence of my actions -- It's impossible for me to know if it will harm none or not.
current mood: bored
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(Braaaain!!)
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1:21 am - Because i am bored
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I'm sure most of it is wrong but, i am bored enough to make Mobdy Dick a freudian tale of incest and drugs. SO THERE!
'Bide the Wiccan Law you must, In perfect love and perfect trust'
"Do this"
'Live and let live: Fairly take and fairly give.'
Do what you need to do, but don't make others stop doing what they do if you don't agree with them; be merciful on your gifts or what you do for other people and likewise do not ask too much of what someone can give you (work, money, friendship)
'Cast the circle thrice about, To keep the evil spirits out.'
This talks about "keeping evil spirits out", and you must cast a protecion against them; i'd say it's meaning is about thinking at least 3 times your decitions before commiting on them, with risk of "evil spirits", or bad concequences of your deeds coming in. Protect yourself.
'To bind the spell every time, Let the spell be spake in rhyme. '
To be elegant in what you do, not only do it "because it's how you do it" but do it to be better than it's simplest shape... You could just read poetry like you read the news or you could chant the poetry, making it a pleasurable auditory experience.
'Soft of eye and light of touch Speak little and listen much.'
Shut up and listen. Don't judge things on what you see (soft of eye), don't try to change things that aren't yours to decide (light of touch), make a informed opinion before you speak (speak little), and try to learn as much as you can (listen much).
'Deosil go by the waxing moon, Sing and dance the Witches' Rune.'
I don't know. Somke a joint when it's night or something.
'Widdershins go when the moon doth wane, And werewolves howl by the dream wolfsbane.'
When there's no light (moon doth wane) you should take care of wolves (dangerous peoples). It seems to talk about your choice of friends, since werewolves are dongerous friends it'd be better to avoid bad situations (darkness in the night) with them.
'When the Lady's moon is new Kiss thy hand to Her times two. '
Greet the new begginigs of the month (lunar cycle) by appreciating what you have by cutting your worth in 3 parts and offering 2 parts of what you have to "the lady" (i.e. charity), this does not speak of money, but rather of gestures (kiss thy hand), so i'm led to think it's about being nice to other peoples.
'When the moon rides at her peak, Then your hearts desire speak.'
It seems to be about expressing yourself or being honest with you if tension seems to be rising.
'Heed the north winds mighty gale, Lock the door and drop the sail. When the wind comes from the south, Love will kiss thee on thy mouth. When the wind blows from the east, Expect the new and set a feast. When the west wind blows o'er thee, The departed spirits restless be. '
This seems to be talking about conditions where upon actions might be appropiate of being taken... If things are going rather well, do carry on your enterprises. If things seem to be pulling you back, it's appropiate to take advice or support from those loved ones, when you are pulled to the side, or sidetracked from your direction, then new things are bound to happen and is not a bad thing, and if your path is taken in another direction which you aren't interested in going, then it's time to revive the old experiences and take advice "from your deads", i.e. revisit what has happened that can help you on this situation.
'Nine woods in the cauldron go, Burn them fast and burn them slow Elder the Lady's tree, Burn it not, or cursed be. '
I don't know these nine woods, but i bet it's a freudian reference. There are some things which are forbidden, and cannot bring you any thing good.
'When the wheel begins to turn, Let the Beltaine fires burn. When the Wheel hath turn to Yule, Light the log and let Pan rule. '
When you start a new enterprise do use all your might (fire), when you have succedded on it, do enjoy the fruits of your labor (pan -> party)
'Heed ye flower, bush and tree, And by the Blessed Lady be! '
If you respect your surroundings, good things are bound to happen. This seems to be talking about use of resources, i.e. don't spend more than necessary.
'Where the rippling waters flow, Cast a stone and truth you'll know. '
When you are bothered by some emotion dealing other people (rippling water), do confront (casting a stone) the person(s) involved to resolve the problem (truth you'll know).
'Whenever you do have a need, Harken not to others greed.
Never take money in exchange for using magical power.
With the fool no seasons spend, Nor be counted as his friend.'
Only consume what is necessary to satisfy what you need, don't be greedy on your possesions.
Do not use your craft to gain a personal benefit, for this will lead to greed.
If your acquitances aren't supportive or are more harm than good it's no use to be around them.
'Merry meet and merry part, Bright the cheeks and warm the heart. '
Be appreciative of new people, and do not hold grudges when you part from someone's company, and remember the best times you had so as to "warm the heart"
'Mind the threefold law you should, Three times bad and three times good.'
Alternatively known as "what you reap is what you sought", i.e., the things you do are bound to come back, in whatever form, so be concious of your actions and accept responsability.
'When misfortune is enow, Wear the blue star on your brow.'
When you have problems then it's time to fight for what you need (blue star is a reference to King David and the jew's folklore), do not expect to have your problems be solved for you (act of wearing)
'True in love ever be, Unless thy love id false to thee. '
this is pretty self-explanatory. Also, be loyal to your loved ones, avoid being the one to let down the other. If you are let down, then tell the other person to go fuck it's papa until they bleed and move on. Or something. *might not include insestual reference
'Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill, 'And it harm none, do what ye will'. '
although i disagree with the implication that you can do what you want without harming people, this seems to talk about not messing with other people, but be independent on your actions, and try not to harm the people that is around you.
current mood: OMGSIBOREOHNOES
current music: Assorted Prodigy
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(1 eaten brains | Braaaain!!)
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| Friday, January 27th, 2006
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5:01 pm
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I'm sorry lana, i wasn't aware of the drama happening @ becky's log...
I don't care that you did what you did, it's all the same to me. I think i told you once that bodies aren't important for me... and i didn't, i'm doing so now.
Please talk to me again soon...
current mood:  sad
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(1 eaten brains | Braaaain!!)
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| Monday, January 23rd, 2006
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3:05 pm - Definition of "problem"
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And the ones in 92% were in a TIE. And they made ME select one out of 5 or 6 choices (the ones in 92%).
This, precisely, is the very reason why i dropped out of higschool. Damn.
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(1 eaten brains | Braaaain!!)
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