Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Aara's DeadJournal:

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Friday, July 11th, 2003
2:20 pm	Back for a moment again. To those of you who missed this journal, I'm back. I may not write in here very often, but I will when I can. As most of you know, I no longer have a computer, so, I access the internet from a nearby library. You're all probably wondering how I'm doing.. But, I'm not going to go into great detail at the moment.. as, I am really not all that well. Hope you're all doing fine. -Aara Current Mood: distressed Current Music: Fade To Black - Metallica (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 24th, 2003
7:18 pm	... Well, I'm back for another hour or so.. and I have plenty to update you all on. First of all, I miss you all so much. I've pretty much been a hermit these days, other than visits with my boy, Ray. My cell phone has been disconnected as well, so I have really no way of communicating with the outside world.. and using Ray's computer is not an option, due to my not being allowed to go to his house anymore.. it's a long story as to why I can't.. but to make the story short, a client of mine who didn't want to pay me the money he owed me, decided to stir up shit in my life, and started with Ray's mom. I had called this client from Ray's house at some point, and he got the number from his call display, and called.. Talked to his mother.. told her what I do for a living, showed her my online journal and my website, threatened her, etc. So, I am no longer welcome over there, to say the least. I am now without a job as well, because this particular client decided to talk crap to my boss as well. So, here I am.. broke, jobless, phoneless, and computerless. As for my relationship with Ray, our one month is tomorrow.. and we're going to family night at playland.. I'll try and write more again soon. Current Mood: scared Current Music: Isn't She Lovely - A cover by some pop-punk band (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 15th, 2003
2:21 am	Not Much Is Happening.. Back for another brief moment.. this time, I'm at Simon's. Not too much has been happening.. Ray and I broke up for a couple days, but got back together right away.. I was the one who broke it off.. for personal reasons.. like I felt I was being selfish for keeping him in my life.. Anyway, everything's okay now.. The other day, he and I went to a banquet at a friend of his's house. I had a surprisingly good time for the short time we stayed. I slept over at his house that night (friday).. then early the next morning, I went home.. and napped and watched movies all day.. bored out of my mind.. and starving.. blech.. I'm tough though.. I'm hanging in there.. Anyway.. that's about all I have to report for now.. I'll keep you all posted. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Chutes And Ladders - KoRn (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 11th, 2003
9:12 pm	Stopping By For A Quick Moment.. Just online for a brief moment, at Ray's. The roomie has still not explained why she took away my access. Oh well. Anyway.. Yea.. not much else to say.. Be back some other day. To those tards who keep signing my journal with stupid comments: If you don't like me, ignore the fact that I exist. Fuckwits. *rolls eyes* All others: Love you! Current Mood: discontent Current Music: Poem - Taproot (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 10th, 2003
4:34 am	Bye For Now. Well, I finally have iam. quick update: still not gone to phoenix. upset about that. Ray and I are getting closer. Love the guy to death. he's working for the next week. may not see him for a while. upset about that. Roomie decided I can't use the comp anymore and took it into her room, under lock and key. So, you will not see much of me at all. Take care. Current Mood: irritated Current Music: theme from some unknown tv show (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 7th, 2003
9:33 pm	Blah. I'm basically jobless now.. because I have two new facial piercings.. and I can't just take them out every time I work, like my boss wants me to do. So, not only am I jobless.. but I'm broke. and I owe people money *shakes head* Fuck. Anyway, I don't want to whine and complain too much. Plaid is trying to figure out a way to get me out there some other way.. I hope he can figure it out somehow.. Ray's coming over tonight. I've been spending more time with him, since I was denied entry to the U.S. twice.. More later. Current Mood: blah Current Music: Everlong - Foo Fighters (reminds me of a friend) (Comment on this)
Friday, June 6th, 2003
11:11 pm	I hate american immigration. Well, I never did get through the second time. Denied, again. It doesn't look like I'll ever be able to go out there. I'm very upset about it. Anyway, Ray and I have been spending alot of time together.. and we've really gotten close. We've completely fallen for eachother. It's scary. Anyway, I don't really have much else to say that I want to say publicly, so.. yea. I'm going to go for now. I'm at Ray's and I'm neglecting him.. so.. yea.. uh.. *sigh* Current Mood: hot Current Music: Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 4th, 2003
9:47 am	Why I loathe being an immigrant.. Well. I got to the airport bright and early, filled out my customs forms.. and proceeded to go through U.S. Immigration and customs.. well.. things didn't pan out.. I can't even remember where things went wrong.. it had something to do with what I said to an officer.. and well.. whatever it was I had said was pretty dumb, so they questioned and questioned and questioned me.. and all my answers were really fucking stupid.. I stumbled all over my words.. probably sounded like an illegal immigrant, trying to sneak into the states.. and the fact that I have never held a job, and I'm a british immigrant did not help. so they stuck me in the back.. and eventually told me that I would not be going anywhere until I can show them that I've held a job in canada for six months. ugh. I am not happy. Anyway, I cried like crazy.. made a scene .. I feel bad about that.. but anyway.. I managed to get my flight rescheduled for the same time tomorrow.. and even though I've run out of money, Ray said he will lend me some more.. you know.. like for cab fare.. airport improvement fee.. and maybe a little food.. basically all I need now is to go to my financial assistance worker.. and ask for a document that proves I've been on assistance for the past while.. and if I can find any other documnet that will be helpful.. yea.. whew.. and I haven't slept in over 24 hours. seriously. dude. I'm falling apart here. I have to get the appropriate info now.. somehow prove I've been receiving income and living in canada for the last six months. *falls over* Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: Everybody Hurts - REM (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 3rd, 2003
8:22 pm	Hiatus? One last entry before I go to Arizona.. Well, I'm pierced once again.. feels good.. I'm happy with it.. Ray came with me.. I slept over at his house last night, after we did laundry together at his place and stuff.. I had quite a moody day.. I was supposed to pick up some custom leather gear I had made for me.. I was supposed to meet the guy at 6;30pm at new west station. well.. ray and i went.. we were there at 6:30 sharp.. and waited for an hour and he didn't show up.. so, I was very very upset. Anyway.. I'm gone tomorrow at about 5 am, to the airport where I will wait for a couple hours to get on the friggin plane, and eventually land in Phoenix, Arizona to meet up with my homeboy, Plaidykins! WooHOOOOO! *bounces like cwazy*.. OOH! *UPDATE* I just got an email from the guy with the custom leather gear.. turns out he forgot.. I forgive him.. anyway.. he was very sorry.. and he said he'll swing by to drop off the stuff =D SO, since I'm at Ray's, I'll meet him at Metrotown station =) Yaay! So, I'm going to sign off for now.. who knows when I'll write in here again.. I'll try and keep you all posted through this journal while I'm away.. as much as I can.. I love you all, and I hope you all have a good three weeks.. My friends on CV - I'm on a brief hiatus.. see you all in a few weeks.. enjoy the member party, as I won't be there.. sorry I have to miss it.. Chris - Good luck with your ball team and all, take care, and we'll have a coke drinkin contest when I get back!! Ray- Thank you so much for spending time with me before I left, I had a great time.. =D I will miss you until I get back =) Love you!! Plaid- well, I'll be there in less than 24 hours! Carpe- See ya soon!!! everyone else! I'll miss you! take care of yourselves and eachother =) Current Mood: awake Current Music: Always - Saliva (reminds me of Plaid) (Comment on this)
Monday, June 2nd, 2003
3:24 am	ALL ABOARD!! Today went smoothly.. one client.. who has now become a regular.. the man in the wheelchair.. he is a wonderful person.. Anyway.. after the client.. I went home.. got changed.. then Simon picked me up to go to the Ozzy Concert.. The two opening bands were Voivod and Finger Eleven.. Voivod sucked ass.. Finger was okay.. During Finger, someone spilled beer everywhere and it got all over simon.. so I licked it off his arm *giggle* I know I'm not supposed to drink, but I couldn't resist!!! Anyway, there were moshpits here and there, during Finger.. I thought THAT was bad.. HEH.. I was SOO wrong. When Ozzy was playing, everyone was nuts.. The entire floor was a moshpit, and since Simon and I were at the front area.. it was really bad.. we were stuck in it.. fights even broke out and such, and people went flying.. people falling over.. drunk sweaty fat guys squeezing by, and rubbing against me as they went by.. ughhh.. at one point, I really thought I was going to die.. the moshing was so bad, and I was being jerked from side to side, and almost fell over several times.. I began to cry.. and a couple of big guys were like "are you okay, sweetie?" I nodded, but I guess I still looked really scared and stuff.. They said to me.. "you're supposed to be having a good time, that's what this is all about.. it'll be okay.. we'll watch out for ya" so, for the short time that they were in my general area there.. they made sure I wasn't pulled into the pit and smashed to bits.. In the middle of the show, the moshing got sooo bad that people were slamming into eachother everywhere, jerking people around.. and there was no escaping it.. in there somewhere, I had my feet stomped over pretty bad, and nearly fell.. two of my toes are broken, I have a twisted ankle, and I tore a ligament or something in my other foot.. .. and despite that.. when crazy train came on.. I went fucking nuts, headbanging, waving my hands around like so \m/.. AND attempting to jump up and down.. It was then that I began truly enjoying myself. For that song.. I was in heaven. I was really fucking happy.. I closed my eyes and felt that riff which I love so much.. After that song, I held onto Simon for dear life for the remainder of the concert.. He was good about it, made sure I didn't fall.. thank GOD. Then he helped me walk back to the car.. THAT was fun.. LOL.. Anyway.. all in all it was a great night.. we even bumped into Ozzy Look- alike.. he was being asked for autographs.. LOL.. so funny.. Anyhow.. yea.. good times.. wow.. I saw Ozzy in concert! Oh yeah.. one last detail.. hehehe.. the entire arena was hotboxed.. lol.. so I got SOOOOO baked.. and Simon and I went to Dennys for a snack.. I even got cheesecake.. heh, heh, heh.. Okay.. I really need sleep.. tomorrow.. I have a little more shopping to do.. and I have a laundry date with Ray. Will write more later. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 1st, 2003
2:18 pm	Ozzy Tonight.. Pics from past couple nights Up! OZZY TONIGHT!!! I'm not as excited as I should be.. but oh well.. I have to work in an hour and a half.. So, I have to go get ready soon.. Anyway.. here are some photos from Thursday night at Au Bar, and Friday at the Potluck.. Au Bar: Edge and I Ray and I Ray and I again Edge, Cotton Candy, and I.   PotLuck: Ray and I. Me Carrying Ray around.. heehee =D Yep! Good times, folks! Good times! =D Anyway.. I have to go start packing, cleaning my room, and getting ready for a call.. so talk to you all later!! *waves* Current Mood: busy Current Music: Follow Da Leader - Soca (Comment on this)
4:16 am	My Day.. My day went like this: went out for lunch at 3:00 with Thex, and we hung out in Queen Elizabeth Park.. Then, he drove me to my incall place, and I had a client.. then I took a cab home, .. then Jason picked me up and we went to pick up Simon.. then the three of us went to Resurrection.. after Resurrection, we went to the after party, which was alot of fun =) Met some new and interesting people.. I am now really tired.. so I'm off to sleep.. .. But before I go.. I'd like to say CONGRATS to Chris's team for winning for the second time in a row!! Yay! Another thing.. Plaid and Carpe.. I am soooo looking forward to seeing you two! I'm so excited it's not even funny! One last thing.. I GET TO SEE OZZY TOMORROW! Yayayayayayayaya!!! *dance dance* Love you all very very much! Over and Out. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Hold My Hand - Hootie And The Blowfish (reminds me of..hehe) (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 31st, 2003
10:25 am	Uhhh.. I had a great time at the potluck last night.. and Ray stayed over again.. I didn't want to be alone.. Turns out it was a good idea.. I had a few episodes in the night.. I woke up and was freaking out and stuff.. Good thing he was there to hold me. Now I'm home.. Ray's gone to work.. and I'm stuck here with my bitchy roomie. Oh my fucking god. I swear she rags on me for every fucking thing one could possibly think of. I can't wait until my three week break from her. =/ Current Mood: anxious Current Music: Theme From Hamtarro (it's stuck in my head) (Comment on this)
Friday, May 30th, 2003
3:26 pm	UGHHHHHH Okay, so the fucking client was a no- show. That's three of those in one day. BLOODY HELL. Anyway, I guess I'll just get ready for the potluck then. *mutters obscenities under her breath* Current Mood: infuriated Current Music: Y'all Ready For This - 2 Unlimited (Comment on this)
2:23 pm	Time well spent.. Yesterday, I went shopping.. bought some clothes.. and a new pair of shoes.. Then Ray and I hung out all evening, until 9:30, when we started making our way over to the CV member party at Au Bar. It was alright.. despite being publicly embarrassed while we were there.. I had an ok time.. drank some red bull.. and was apparently acting like I was drunk.. Ray spent the night.. then went home this morning.. my time at Au Bar may not have been the greatest.. but the time I spent with him was just .. wonderful.. Anyway.. I have to work in like an hour. Yay. So enthused, I know.. and I have to give all my money to my boss, pretty much. ugh. =( Anyway.. as for tonight.. I'm going to a potluck in the park.. with Ray.. Simon will be there.. and so will a few other people I know.. That should be fun.. i'm going to try and bring my special mac n cheese for it.. Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: All I Want - Maren Ord (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 29th, 2003
12:46 am	Cramping my style. .. Got ahold of plaid.. so he knows.. and he's excited too.. and Carpe knows.. so.. all is well.. so it's set.. I had a wonderful day.. spent all day with Ray.. the guy I mentioned I'd be going out with.. we watched a couple DVD's.. then went for dinner, then for a walk.. it was wonderful.. I was so happy in the moment.. Anyway.. the roomie is really fucking cramping my style. I couldn't work tonight.. because I had no money for a cab and couldnt get to a place for an incall.. and i needed the place for tomorrow.. but the fucking roomie is going to be home all day tomorrow.. and that means I can't work.. so I'm losing a whole fuck of alot of money.. fucking hell.. I can't believe this. and I need money to get the things I need for my trip.. FUCKING HELL. This is so upsetting. then, what does she do the minute i get home? she asks to go on the computer. I hadnt been on it all fucking day. turns out she has the day off tomorrow and wanted to be on it all bloody night. uh. no way. she just got done watching her movie and she'll want the comp now. jesus. I hate this. fuck fuck fuck. I need to make money. bloody hell. she's so cramping my fucking style. I had a great night, and I WAS happy, but I'm not NOW. Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: Asshole - artist unknown (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 28th, 2003
4:59 am	Plaid, where in the dickens are you?? Well, my computer is back up and running. Nadine got someone to come in and fix it monday while I was at Mike's. Anyway.. Not too much else to update on.. other than the fact that I am sooo relieved that the comp is back up.. and that everything that was on it is still intact. whew. anyway.. I have been tryin to get ahold of Plaid.. he doesn't know I'm coming over for sure yet, because he hasn't gotten my email.. otherwise he would have replied.. So.. I'm hoping he checks his email soon.. I don't want to be stranded in Phoenix.. yikes.. Talking to Terry again. What I had thought, was a misunderstanding.. he's just very busy as of late, and doesn't have much time to talk.. So, things are ok now.. I've unblocked him and all.. Oh yeah.. I'm going out today.. with a friend.. I met him over CV.. he's so incredibly sweet.. My friend Chris's ball team won on monday!! everyone cheer! yaay! apparently this is the first win in a very long time for them.. so.. Congrats Chris's team! Hmm.. yea.. not much else to update on.. I need food.. I haven't actually eaten in over 24 hours approx.. because I've been sleeping so much.. ughh.. I sleep to pass the time nowadays.. and today, my friend whom I'm going out with .. is calling me at 11- ish.. and I've already slept tons.. so I have to try and sleep again so that I'm not tired when he and I hang out =S So, I'm going to go get some food now and sleep.. more later. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: Yoda - Weird Al (Comment on this)
Monday, May 26th, 2003
5:44 pm	Appologies.. Well.. I'm back.. for five minutes, anyway.. As I said before, I don't have a computer to use, because the one at my place is fucked. So, I'm at Mike's again, for a few. I was not doing well at all on Saturday, and I guess I really worried alot of you.. for that, I am very sorry.. I was just at the end of my rope.. Anyway.. in the past two days, I have managed to make just over $500, and I bought a ticket to go to Phoenix, Arizona!! I am very super happy at the moment because of this =) I will FINALLY get to see my Carpe, and my Plaidy!! I am soooo stoked! I'm going on June 4th, coming back on the 24th.. and of course, still going to see Ozzy on the 1st of June.. so things are really looking up.. I am happy for the moment.. I hope it lasts.. Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: All Appologies - Nirvana (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 25th, 2003
12:28 am	This is goodbye. (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 24th, 2003
7:04 pm	About to give up. Work cancelled all my calls. I've pretty much lost my job. No Job. No love. No one to hold me. No Computer. No Money. Nothing to live for. I'm about to give up. Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: How Will I Laugh Tomorrow - Suicidal Tendencies (Comment on this)