|
Torn
|
Jun. 5th, 2005 @ 11:36 pm
|
|---|
|
until i decide which one to use, i'll be writing in my new livejournal account from now on.
www.livejournal.com/users/_argon |
|
What's Beef? Beef is When You Need Two Gats to Go to Sleep. Beef is When Your Moms Aint Safe Up in t
|
Jun. 4th, 2005 @ 09:39 pm
|
|---|
|
Meh, whats been up, lemme see... today went on a delivery all the way to Dallas. Woke up at six something in the morning and got back at around 3 in the afternoon. When i got home i took a much needed shower and then layed down on my bed to finally listen to a Morissey CD that i had bought on wednesday. Well i think a got through about 4 songs before i passed out and woke up about 3 hours later.
damn its sooooooo boring yo...
i miss beefing with dudes and bitches alike. heh heh that was about the only thing i liked about Reagan, putting the buncha so called tough guys/thugs/cake ass niggas in their place. Same thing with TSU and the "black thugs" there. Beefing with cats just, i dunno--kept me on my toes i guess... kept the juices flowing.Feeling Like:  bored |
|
For the Love of Money
|
May. 25th, 2005 @ 10:31 pm
|
|---|
|
Trying to get adjusted to life back in houston has been pretty difficult. The main thing that still gets me is the heat/humidity... i can't believe how fucking hot it gets here.
I've been working with Mac for the past two weeks. At first i was just helping him out but Mac's dad fired a dude that worked there and two others attempted a mutiny, so now i work all day everyday and get paid under the table.
Last week i started running at Studewood park and i've been steadily increasing performance-wise. Today i went a little earlier than usual. It was a damn Reagan reunion there. I saw Stephanie Cavazos, Cindy, the redcoat that used to go with George back in the day.... what was her name..., Maciel, Vanessa, Joseph Dominguez, and this chick i used to see around all the time but never knew her name.
Driving around in Rays Volvo my driving technique has increased by leaps and bounds--something that could never have happened had Ray still had That Godforsaken Green Machine. Getting on the freeway--something that wouldve been suicide with the van--is so damn easy its funny. I used to be so terrified driving the green machine that i hated just cruisin around in the backstreets.
Im still waiting for Bobby to send my shit through UPS from Massachusetts. I hope his brother gets back from vacation soon.
I'm so sleepy... im going "home"...Feeling Like:  drained Listening To: the fan whirring in my ear... |
|
Trippin'
|
May. 16th, 2005 @ 03:22 am
|
|---|
|
Wednesday i helped Mac make some deliveries while we caught up on shit. We made a few stops in downtown then we went on a long delivery to Austin.
That night we all went to see the Reagan Baseball team in a playoff game against Friendswood... arr not a pretty sight. (some things never change lol) While there i saw A LOT of old Reaganites... and not one of them recognized me. I stood next to Coach Colon for over 45 minutes, i shook hands with Mr. Wallace, stared at Crystal Avila and Freddie Reyna dead in the eyes-- not one of them could recognize me.
Umm went to Rosies house on Thursday night and basically babysat for her whilst she went out. Thats more than okay though. Poor Rosie, she deserves sooo much more with all the shit she has to put up with right now. It was the least i could do.
So let's see. In less than one week i've traveled from Sprinfield Mass. to houston to austin and back, and to Stafford and back. According to bitch ass MapQuest.com i traveled approximately 2162.63 miles. And thats not including traveling around the backsteets.Feeling Like: bored Listening To: Dru Hill - These Are The Times |
|
Home Sweet Home
|
May. 16th, 2005 @ 02:23 am
|
|---|
|
It's nice to see that some things never change...
My plane flew into Houston at 9 something p.m. from Bradley International Airport in Hartford Connecticut making a stop in Baltimore Maryland. I had no trouble sleeping during both plane rides.
Mac and Edith were both there to pick me up. Immediately after we scooped up Cano and went to Aranda's as planned. I indulged in a California Burrito for old times sake and a large horchata.
Dropped Edith off then i got dropped off.
I greeted Ray. I didnt think it was possible but he's actually in MUCH worse shape than the last time i was home. Now he needs his walker and cane all the time and walks about 75% slower. The house was in terrible shape as well... no surprise there. Trash everywhere, holes in the floor and ceiling more noticable than ever. The stench that permeates the house was also stronger than ever before.
I couldnt stomach it anymore. I drove ray's "new" 1988 volvo to my aunts house, then we both drove to see my mom and Raul...mainly Raul. Coming through the front entrance i saw that she wasnt working the desk like she was supposed to. when i got inside, we parked outside and i called her cellphone. She wasnt there and i could tell the instant i talked to her that she was fucking drunk like always. She embaressed the shit out of me, like always. My little brother, who was supposed to be there, took off and went to a friends house because he couldnt deal with her.i couldnt take it anymore and just burnt off.
That night as i was talking to Edith i told her how cool it was that i always dreamed of getting away from all the bullshit and negativity here AND in the end it was said bullshit that forced me back here.Feeling Like:  curious Listening To: The Notwist - Consequence |
| » Tuesday's the Day |
|---|
Tomorrow im out this bitch. Should be writing a paper right now. Still gotta finish packing. Gotta get da transcripts. take an algebra final, turn in a portfolio. Fuck you Springfield.
May. 9th, 2005 @ 11:55 am
|
| » I Keeps This Shit Straight Gully |
|---|
This past Tuesday in history class that fucked up kid francisco grabbed my shoulder and shook me because he thought i was sleeping. It wasnt a regular shake to rouse someone from slumber, it was really aggressive and something about it left me with a very uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.
So i turned to the kid in disbelief and i told him "Yo, Dont you EVER fucking touch again." i could tell i hurt his feelings because he looked like he was going to cry and because Jonson always fucking with me that he likes me and/or considers me his latin brother. (fuck that shit!) he started to say something about that he was just trying to wake me up but i cut him off and told him "Shut the FUCK up".
He stayed quiet after that. The guy sitting behind him started laughing his ass off and it wasnt too long before i joined in. I guess us laughing at him really pissed him off cuz he just exploded and started saying weird ass shit and being an ingrate. I sat there for a while and just kept telling him to shut the fuck up you faggot.
But he kept on and on. In classic Rob James fashion i turned around in my desk and booted the shit out of his chair. I almost flipped him over in his desk but he jumped up and saved himself. i jumped up with fists balled up ready to damage this kid. Professor Dauer stepped in finally and told Francisco to shut the hell up.
Dauer asked if i would go and fill out a class survey in another room and i agreed to.
Later, after class, i went back to my room and put my things away. Then i went into Jonson's room to download music for my ipod.
Jonson left to take a final or something and told me to hold down the fort. So i was sitting there downloading shit when i hear a loud bang on the door. Franciso saw me there and went ballistic talking about embarressing him and hurting his feelings--it was really breaking my heart. I just sat there and laughed my ass off.
The laughter stopped when he started to step inside the room. I got up and shoved him ending him flying across the hallway into the wall. I closed Jonsons door because i am a man of peace and i was sick of messing with this faggot.
Lo and behold as soon as i close the door that hear Francisco booting the door and ripping pictures off the door that he thinks are all mine. That was it, i took my glasses off, opened the door and once again shoved him slamming him into the wall. Since i didnt have my glasses on i couldnt see shit. nothing but blurs. he lunged forward at me (to throw a punch?) and a sidestepped him scooped him up and i was intent on slamming the shit outta him... this is when everything starts getting a little hazy. Everything that follows is shit that i have no recollection of.
According to the eye witness testimonies of Chad, Smeagol, Prizm, and others: when i slammed him down i somehow tripped over him and with the forward momentum i had i slammed my head into the ground--almost knocking myself out. I got up in a daze and with wobbley steps but with a ferocity only capable through being semi unconscious. Smeagol said that i tried Shooting in on him but him but he kept backing up. Then they said i started Two-piecing him in the face, then i slammed him against a trash can that Billy had in front of his door, and finally i had head head pinned to the floor with my left hand while blasting him in the face with my right. Menna said later that he could hear the sounds of my fists against his soft face all the way from his room.
The next thing that i actually remembered is Hearing Chad say allright roberto he's not worth it. I felt like someone had woken me up from sleep. Chad described me by saying i had a crazed glazed over look in my eyes; almost like i wasnt there. I found out later that i opened his eye at the brow, fucked his nose up, and fucked his mouth up.
Fucked that bitch up and i wasnt even in my own mind and didnt have my glasses or contacts on.
See what happens when you fuck with me? i try to be a nice guy and leave people the fuck alone, ppl think they can fucking walk all over me. Jokes on them.
May. 8th, 2005 @ 02:00 pm
|
| » A Gift From Lord Odin Himself |
|---|
I don't know how i managed to live so long without having one of these little wonders in my life. Since Tuesday it has brought my life this much closer to Nirvana... What the hell is it that im talking about? What could possibly be so stupendously awesome that it makes me quiver with sheer joy everytime i cast a gaze in it's direction???? My beautiful new iPod, thats what. As of now i have about 500 songs, but i guaran-damn-tee you that they are 500 of the best fucking songs ever to grace human ears.
to describe it in one word? SWEEEEEET!
In other news: LESS THAN TWO WEEKS BEFORE SCHOOLS OVER AND DONE WITH.
Apr. 29th, 2005 @ 06:05 pm
|
| » Question Time by Shadowpools |
|---|
Shadowpools:
Welcome to question time, the always segregated, hater-free society, home of stupidity and the most fantastic 10 seconds of the hour!
Today we bring question time to a live stand-still as we interview one of Deadjournal's greatest, Mr. Rob James.
--
1. Tell us Mr. James, have you ever cupped your hand on your anus, farted and smelled it?
2. Is that picture on your dj of a man with sunglasses you?
3. If you take the sunglasses off is it you now?
4. How long before the new Pope reverts back to a Nazi state?
5. Finally, who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan now or Jack Nicholson of '74?
Me:
1. Is religion a crutch for the weak minded? Hell yes! But only once though… for once I realized the potency of concentrated anal methane gas, I took pleasure in shoving said hand filled with anal juice into OTHER people’s faces! Therein lies the majesty of it all!
2. Yes although a very young version of me. Circa 2000.
3. The answer would have to be no, for the young Rob James could never begin to dream of growing a totally fucking awesome beard like I have now.
4. Eh I give the german fuck 4 years tops… if he lives that long. sieg heil!
5. Given the fact that meg ryan does indeed possess a clitoris worthy of my supreme cunullingus skills and Jack’s a fucking man, I would have to go with Meg.
Shadowpools:
There ya go folks, you heard it straight from the source! Stay tuned for the next QT exclusive, we're gonna delve deep into the sick sadistic mind of a serial shaver. The infamous Josh Armendariz.
Apr. 20th, 2005 @ 07:22 pm
|
| » Redundant: E-Mail to Claryssa |
|---|
How do i start?
I'm beginning to grow very tired of having to explain to people that i dont feel sorry for myself, i'm not depressed, and im not giving up. I havent felt sorry for myself since 5th grade and im not going to start anytime soon. Giving up has never been an option for me; to give up now because of this shit would be like me tripping over a piece of string of the floor after i've been jumping hurdles for most of my life. It's not going to happen. I know that no matter how i try to explain the way things feel no one will ever understand but me. Just like no matter how you hard you try, I could never even begin to imagine how things have been with you in your life.
If had had chosen another path instead of bouncing back from those things and just let everything slip away, i would have no right to tell you what youre supposed to do and how youre supposed to feel.
I'm not going to get Edith pregnant. in a worse case scenario, i wouldnt drop out even if i did have a baby.
And as far as worrying about my little brother or my sister, that is never going to change. If you had raised your little brother, youd worry your ass of about him too and youd hold yourself guilty of his wrongdoings even though you know it isnt your fault.
I've never felt like i was letting Edith down.
I dont think you understand how utterly frustrating it is to watch things around you happening and affecting others and knowing theres nothing you can do but sit idly. This isnt something that happes every once in a while, this is the story of my life.
I know that you care about me and that you worry about me-- believe me i appreciate it. No offense to you, but i've gotten through worse things when there was absolutely no one by my side, when i was younger, weaker, and more naive; and as cold as it may sound: I still dont need anyone now. Be it Edith, Coach Brooks, or you.
I once explained something to someone that i was cursed-- cursed with the gift of preserverance. I dont know how to give up or just stop. Even when things would be so much easier if i just gave up, i dont-- i cant. You dont have to ever worry if im just going to quit on life. Or anything like that. The only thing you should possibly worry about is if I ever kill someone out of anger.
Like i said before, im tired of trying to explain how and why i feel the way i do.
This book is closed.
Apr. 20th, 2005 @ 09:44 am
|
| » Holla Holla Holla Holla Holla Holla Holla Holla |
|---|
Cesspools:
I've been monitoring the unfolding of confrontations here in this dark world of negativity and that's all I can say. ..Wow.
Just wow. It's like a civil war.
Rob James-izzle:
Its not a war, its me speaking the gospel. She wants to insult me I'll do her one better and slay her ass faithfully. not insult her, but tell her the cold truth. Shes not worth me getting upset about; but i will gun up and clap her ass quick. Best Believe That. Holla if ya hear me.
Apr. 19th, 2005 @ 06:56 am
|
| » Trying To Walk Your Little Baby Nuts Around the Block, You Won't Make it to the Corner |
|---|
Nomra: <--with the baby nuts
What do you mean someone like me. Well you really don't know how I would react. How about you stop assuming you know me. You honestly don't. Just get over what ever it is that is bothering you. Seriously, what is your damn problem Robert?
Me:
lol what are you talking about?? nothing's bothering me! lol what about you? why are you so hostile? i didnt even do nuttin to you?
"Someone like you" = the exact way you're acting right now. Someone who gets their panties into a bunch over the smallest and most insignificant things. Would you say youre acting rationally? Case in point: I read all of things you said about me to Jimmy, am i crying about it, or crying to you about it? No. But if i reacted in the same way you do, i'd be pissing my pants being mad about nothing.
Your too busy being a paranoid schizophrenic to realize that i meant NOTHING negative about it. Yet for some reason you take it straight to the kidney. lol
Why are you slandering my good name all of a sudden? because i couldnt talk to you that night you called me because i was sick? I dont know how you manifested this bizarre notion that i'm trying to break you and jimmy apart, or drive yall apart or whatever. Jimmy asked me about you and i and i told him. *YOU AND I* It made me happy to know yall two were happy with each other. You think im lying? why was it then, that I chose to put a foot down about us talking? because i knew that Jimmy wasnt cool with us talking, i have to respect that. you on the other hand knew that it was upsetting him and you continued to talk to me and call me. hmm?
Unlike you, i dont excel at deceiving others, so when someone asks me for the truth i speaks it.
Maybe the question you should be asking yourself is "Why does Nomra *DO* the things Nomra *DOES*?" I sure as hell know Jimmy would like to know, and i would like to know. But Do YOU really know?
For the record even if i was a lying sack of shit, popping off at the mouth, weaving nothing but lies, would like nothing more than to break you too up because i love to see yall miserable and jerk off to the thought that you cant sleep at night because i've made your life a living hell-- Why havent *YOU* ensured that your relationship is as strong as it could be? Jimmy wouldnt be suspicious of you if you didnt give him reasons to. hmm and is it a coincidence that i was always suspicious of you from the start even though i was barely getting to really know you? do you see a patern? i do.
I dare you to tell Edith ANYTHING about me. Tell me ANYTHING about it Edith. No matter what you can concoct in your mind do you think our relationship could even for a second begin to falter?? Would we even blink? The only people that decide how a relationship goes are the people IN THE RELATIONSHIP, anyone who tells you otherwise is a fucking liar.
So what is *YOUR* damn problem Norma?
Apr. 18th, 2005 @ 01:01 pm
|
| » Knock 'Em Out Rob |
|---|
So it officially began today. Today marked the start of my plan to rebuild myself anew. Even though I started running stairs last Tuesday, today is my plan really begins to unfurl.
This is how I plan to go about achieving this:
Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays:
Exercise: Two miles of cardio in the morning. Weight training in the evening.
Meals: An ultra healthy breakfast consisting of 12 hard boiled egg whites, cottage cheese, and whatever fruits they have available (usually pineapples, honeydew, cantaloupe, strawberries, bananas, grapes, oranges, and grapefruit. Oh and a cup of milk. For Dinner a salad with all the essentials, grilled chicken, and light dressing or just a sandwich. Two cups of water.
Thursdays and Fridays:
Exercise: Running of the stairs in the morning. Usually from the basement to the fourth floor 10 times. Will increase if necessary. Weight training in the evening.
Meals: Same as other days.
My goal is to get down to around 220. Once i get there i'll have to see what i wanna do after that.
I’ve already started to lose weight just from running stairs, so now that im going to implement everything else the pounds should drop.
The only real barrier that stands in my way is whats going to happen when I get back home. I don’t have a fraction of the choices of foods I have here. Running is gonna be at studewood park, no doubt. Probably have to change the stair climbing to hill climbing. And unfortunately I might have to lift weights at Love park. God I fucking hope not.
Apr. 18th, 2005 @ 11:15 am
|
| » Those Damn Dreams |
|---|
Sometime this past week i had a dream similar to many that i've experianced during the past year or so.
Simply put the entire dream revolved around me being completely infatuated with Brenda. Her and i were going to some college and living in a co-ed dorm. For some reason, either she didnt know me or was ignoring me, she never acknowledged my presence.
The feeling i felt during the dream was not unlike the ache of love, but at a much more painful level. I guess it was that i was in love with her but she didnt even know i existed... that kinda pain.
Something strange to note, is that in the dream i behaved the way i would've my freshman year. Too shy and afraid to actually approach her, the fear of being rejected, that stupid habit of trying to get her to notice me by doing unimportant things like walking by her room while her dorm was open. That also left me with a sour taste in my mouth.
Anyways, that aforementioned pain-- thats what woke my ass up. I was laying there in bed with my heart hurting in agony. Craziness. No matter what i tried to do i couldnt shake that feeling, or those thoughts and i couldnt go back to sleep.
It is no secret to myself that i do love Brenda. I've loved her since sophmore year... i just never wanted to confirm that to myself... because-- well because i am who i am. I didnt want to believe that i had become so weak as to fall in love with someone. denial can be an ugly thing. That love that i had for Brenda was the catalyst that ruined my relationships with Crystal and Tracy. I could careless about the former, but Tracy was a kick ass girl who really cared for me and i fucked that up royally.
It wasnt until that time junior year when i saw Brenda in JR's car that i was finally able to begin to stop thinking about her as much and kind of move on. Kind of.
Nonetheless, that love is still there. If i could i would simply cut that part of my heart out, but after four years every attempt on my part has been in vain. I was never truly honest about this with Brenda and there is a stabbing pain of guilt inside me for that.
The past few nights i've made attempts to contact Brenda, but she's never home and apparently she never checks her email. Until i get to talk to her and pour these feelings out im afraid i will continue to be haunted by these dreams and these feelings.
How wrong is it to be in love with two girls at the same time? especially when one of them is probably annoyed by you... or is trying her damndest (sp?) to avoid you...
My relationship with Edith is so strong that even these feelings about Brenda do not interfere. I still love Brenda, but what i feel for Edith transcends love. There is no word to explain how i feel for Edith.
Edith thinks im crazy for feeling this way, but she's very understanding. how many other girlfriends could be so understanding? I wonder how someone like Norma would react to this if i was with her...? not well- i know that much.
Time to go pick up my paycheck
Apr. 15th, 2005 @ 10:08 am
|
| » This Past Week |
|---|
Nothing too special happened this week.
uhh Bobby and I went on a journey to Holyoke Mall on tuesday getting lost along the way. At the mall i bought a new game for the XBOX-- Jade Empire-- which is a pretty badass game.
Ray called me up wednesday and told me that i got a check in the mail for 1 grand but it turns out i was supposed to recieve it in january. I think Ray said it was sent to the wrong address! what the fuck man, how do you send a check for 1 grand to the wrong address?!?! fucking morons. When it gets here Coach Brooks is gonna take me to a bank around here and open up an account.
I got my plane reservation for my flight to houston. I leave on May 10 at 5pm something, stopping in maryland i think, switching planes, and landing in houston at nine something. w00t
I found out in history class yesterday that i was suppposed to do some journals or something from the book and i didnt do shit on them. I think its pretty safe to say that i wont be passing History any time soon, and frankly i dont give a damn.
Yesterday i also bought a game for the Gamecube for my little brother from Mike Fedas called Tales of Symphonia. I consider it a very later birthday present.
Today is payday and im hoping for a decent amount of scrill. I doubt it but i'll still have my fingers crossed.
Apr. 15th, 2005 @ 09:13 am
|
| » Farewell Mr. Bobby Goodwin |
|---|
Bobby knocked on my door, waking me from my pleasant slumber yesterday evening. He broke some news to me that he would be dropping out of Springfield within the next few days because he means to maintain the little sanity that he has left. He said also that he was failing all of his classes and there would be no way he could ever make up those classes. So he plans on starting over with a clean slate either next spring or next fall in a differant college. Good luck Bobby. Bang em all out.
Apr. 15th, 2005 @ 09:07 am
|
| » THE MEXICAN!!! LOL!!! |
|---|
Apr. 13th, 2005 @ 12:40 pm
|
| » FUCK ALL OF YOU! |
|---|
Holy shit that date would be Edith and mine's 4 year and 2 month anniversary! Thats awesome!
Apr. 13th, 2005 @ 12:04 pm
|
| » My Angel Cake |
|---|
To pick up Edith Enriquez: Am I dead Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
|
Apr. 10th, 2005 @ 07:31 pm
|
| » Beefy. |
|---|
It's Not Sex. It's ... :
Having a Beef Injection
|
Apr. 10th, 2005 @ 07:29 pm
|
|
|